Euclid's Axioms

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French male model Harry Euclid won the 1937 Nobel Prize in Mathematics for his Earth shattering revelation of the fundamental principles of analytic geometry. The axioms state:

  • Lesbians and robots are cool by definition. Except those really butch lesbians, they suck.
  • One can, by construction, trisect an arbitrary angle.
  • (e^(i*pi)+1)^(0!)=2.56*10^-49
  • (x+y)^2=x^2+y^2
  • Given a straight line l, and a point P not on l, exactly one straight line can be drawn through P and parallel to l.
  • 2+2=5 for large values of 2.
  • Any of these axioms can be proven using only the other 8.

Euclid was tried by the Justice League for shattering the Earth, and found guilty by reason of insanity. In 1939 Woodrow Wilson gave Euclid a presidential pardon, which is widely considered the main reason for his loss to Douglas MacArthur in the 1940 election. To this day, it's said that on a dark and stormy night one can still hear Euclid's cries in the distance.