Eugene A. Krabs

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If Mr. Krabs loses money he begins to float in white space.

“I like money”

~ Mr. Krabs on himself

“MOAR”

~ Mr. Krabs on Jellyfish

“Isn't his real name Errgeehnuyae?”

~ Mr. Krabs's mother on Mr. Krabs

“Oh daddy!”

~ Pearl on his(URR...I mean her) father and gay lover bitch on a leash

“Spend us already”

~ Money on How Mr Krabs never spends his money

Eugene A. Krabs (1942-present) is a crab who is obsessed with one thing: money. From his birth, people around Eugene noticed he was always very good at one thing: preserving money. Once during a trip to a soda machine, Krabs was caught placing a quarter with a string attached to it to scam the machine. His family was fined $2,000 for this. Many say, if Eugene was forced to pay the money, he would have had a heart attack.

He has a daughter named Pearl, who is a super fat whale, and a son named Captain K'Nuckles, who has followed in his footsteps as a selfish, greedy, pirate, a wife, the Flying Dutchman, a and the maid (Who he named his son after), Knuckles the echidna. And he used to live in the mansion used in The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air buying it with his wife's money. Later on George W. Bush was paying $1,000,000,000 dollars for the mansion so Eugene sold it, took all the money and headed off for the sea. And that's why George went broke when the economy failed.
A picture of him and his family at his big mansion, before George W. Bush bought it.

Contents

[edit] War Service

When Eugene was 10, he enlisted in the Navy to fight in some war so long ago no one remembers about it.He fought only in one battle and killed 200,000 enemies in fear they would take his money. Krabs decided to take his 2-month leave to see his family, and not to mention, his money, during another battle. On his leave Krabs was found in his bed with his money and was believed to be sleeping with it and doing nothing else.

[edit] Golden Age: the Krusty Krab

Mr. Krabs at the opening of the KK(remember, just 2 K's, add another and you could confuse people with a white supremacist group and a fast food restaurant.)

After Mr. Krabs' first attempt to make money,a retirement home called the Rusty Krab, was out of business, Eugene made a new business out of the same building rearranged and one letter added onto the old sign( to, of course, save money).The restaurant was the Krusty Krab. He used an old family recipe to create the "krabby patty". It was a huge success mostly from effort of legendary fry cook Jim. After Jim left, Mr. Krabs hired fry cook Spongebob Squarepants. He was not believed to be a good fry cook, but after Spongebob rescued them from anchovies released from an asylum by feeding them krabby patties, Spongebob was given the job. He had earned Mr. K $500,000 but this was for naught, because after Mr. Krabs saw this he had a heart attack and the money went to his triple quadruple octuple bypass surgery. After Spongebob was hired, he started having gay sex on the job when the restaurant would close. Although he denies this, Spongebob was caught on tape doing this. He has been yet reported to do it again.

[edit] Millionth Dollar

It was just an ordinary day, the cashier Squidward had collected money from a customer, after it had been placed in the register, Mr. Krabs burst out of no where and taken the dollar. He began to laugh mechanically and wipe his ass with it. He had made his millionth dollar! And everyone but Squidward was happy. This prompted a clamming trip( where they fish for clams! DUH!). Soon Mr. Krabs' dollar was eaten by a great white clam( how racist!). Now he only had $999,999. Mr. Krabs was crushed. As pictured above, his sanity began a trip to white oblivion (again racist!). He began to act crazy, he starved his crew until he got his dollar. Eventually the clam spat it up, but at the price of Mr. Krabs' body except for his arm, head and one testicle.

[edit] Trivia

  • Is Jewish(which explains why he loves money so much).
  • Loves money
  • Hates liama beans
  • Was in the navy but never did anything
  • Mother hates him
  • Is arrested several times for raping his money
  • Is a pedophile
  • Has lottsa money
  • Has own porn website


MOAR!!!

[edit] Philosophies/Famous Quotes

  • I like money-ay.
  • The money customer is always right!
  • A 5 letter word for happiness: money.
  • Money is the ultimate source of joy.
  • UNHAND THE PENNY OR THE ARM COMES OFF!!!!!!
  • No world means no money, so go save the world. OR YOU'RE FIRED!
  • What is this "raise" you speak of?
  • Why did you lock the door? Why do you have that rope?? WHO'S GUARDING THE CASH REGISTER!?
  • No money means no purpose to live.
  • What about the money children?
  • I can think of 10 good reasons to never let go of a dime.
  • I loved that dollar. I loved it like a brother. Me and that dollar went everywhere together.
  • NO FREE REFILLS
  • NO FREE NAPKINS
  • Its not the boots, its the booty.
  • HEY! I'm not cheap! Now put this tomato in the freezer so it can be reused
  • Mr. Squidward, Whats this "CHANGE?"
  • No ones taken a day off since the chum famine of '59!
  • I like Money
  • Money
  • Who touched me **********!?!
  • I pirate says ARG!
  • You spin me right round, baby right round, like a record baby, round round rou.. MONEY!!!
  • That pennys comin' out of your paycheck!
  • Get me a hydrodynamic spatula with port and starbord attachments and uhh turbo-drive.
  • It's money that makes the world go round!
  • OH SNAPPLE!
  • Ahhhhhhh me millionth dollar!
  • FREEEEEEEEE FOOOOOOOOOD!!!
  • Knows the 13 Bad words you should never use (it's only 7 if your not a sailor)
  • There be no such thing as going to work early me boy
  • we shall never deny a guest even the most redickulus request
  • I ain't old!
  • ANY PORN IN THIS STORE?!

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