Everybody Hates Dubya (Television Series)
“A sad attempt at mimicing my work.”
“I told my TiVo to record the series. Apparently, it won't.”
“Won't be renewed for a 2nd season”
“Those Conservatives trying to lure us in with their flashy television programs...it sickens me.”
“GREATEST TV SHOW EVER MADE!!!”
Everybody Hates Dubya was a popular show created in the first decade of the 21st Century. Its name, a combined parody of Everybody Hates Raymond and Grey's Anatomy, ran for eight successful seasons despite horrible reviews from liberal, tree-hugging, everything-goes-and-nobody-is-misguided-or-morally-unjust,-just-special critics. Based on the presidential term of presidential President George W. Bush and the stand-up comedy of the equally presidential Chris Rock, the show had an innate ability to connect with its two main target audiences: protestant white-male conservatives, and African-American teens living on the bottom half of the income spectrum.
The show was shot as a first-person narrative from the perspective of a young George W. Bush (known to the rest of the cast simply as Dubya). Dubya grows up on the mean streets of Texas, encountering the problems faced by many average Texans, such as people cutting in line at country clubs and having all the social abnormlalities associated with of having a famous daddy. Still, with Dubya's raucous sense of humor he's usually always able to find a clever, sometimes underhanded but always funny way of trying to solve a problem. And while his plans rarely rectify the problematic situation, everyone has a hearty laugh regardless just before the credits roll.
- Dubya - Though not very intelligent book-wise, young Dubya has a mind for business and politics. Often getting into trouble with his self-proclaimed "home dawgs," Dubya always manages to get off rather easily compared to his friends. Infatuated with the girl next door, Laura, Dubya constantly tries to concoct ways to woo her, often ending up in humiliating himself in a hilarious, heart-warming manner. In one famous episode Dubya tries to impress Laura by jumping off the high dive, putting his life in great danger when he realizes that he can't even swim! He is saved by his runner-up best friend Dan Quayle, only to be threatened once more when Dan suggests that Dubya use magic swimming rocks to help his underwater grace. The episode ends with Dubya eventually jumping off the high dive, only to find that Laura has already left with multi-purpose adversary and local schoolyard bully Alberto 'El Gorebachvoff. Dubya drowns, yet still, everyone manages to get a hearty laugh.
- WYO - Also known as Dick Cheney, WYO (nicknamed for his favorite state, Wyoming) is Dubya's best friend in their almost entirely black school. WYO doesn't take crap from anybody and often tries to solve his problems with violence, alcohol and occasionally, economic sanctions . WYO is very open about his hatred of black people, a fact which secretly bothers Dubya due to his undisclosed lust for big booties. WYO, though supposedly Dubya's friend, has scams Dubya and his associates on repeatedly, all the way until his departure in the sixth season when the character leaves after a drug related arrest.
- Laura - Dubya's next-door neighbor and constant love interest, the character of Laura did not have a single spoken line until season two when she calls Dubya a "poser." Laura all-inclusive character, embodying all the characteristics of a generic "daddy's little girl" type (causing her to purposely avoid association with Dubya for the first half of the show due to his friendship with several nefarious characters). Laura will eventually dump boyfriend Alberto 'El Gorebachvoff for Dubya in the show's highest rated episode season 5 episode (which scored a whopping 12.3).
- D. Rummy - Another one of Dubya's crew, D.Rummy is considerably crazier and more cocky than any character on the show. In one episode, D. Rummy falsely pins a grand larceny wrap on Dubya causing him to get shanked by special guest star 50 Cent. Dubya seeks revenge via his father's influence, having D. Rummy's entire family evicted. D. Rummy returns in the final season with a black belt in pwnage, only to be swiftly defeated by Dubya's best friend-in-waiting, Dan Quayle. Rummy's family is irreparably changed; audience laughs heartily once more.
- Dan Quayle- Often called the show's X-factor, Dan Quayle is the lovable town idiot of Texas, always ready to help Dubya solve the problem. Despite his misguided advice, Dubya constantly seeks his input on very important situations, adding to the general chaos of the already perplexing storytelling structure.. A classic example of Quaylian behavior is shown in season 4, when Dubya, needing to pass a spelling test with a 'C' or higher, seeks Quayle's aid in a cheating plan. Quayle gets nearly every word wrong, most notably misspelling Potato as potatoe. Dubya is embarrassed to the point of literal sobbing when an elementary school child corrects him. The audience explodes in laughter.
- Alberto 'El Gorebachvoff- Considered the prime antagonist of the show, Alberto is a smooth talking liberal who pipes mass hoes. Relentless in his quest for tail, Alberto attempts to win Laura's affections, and succeeds on several occasions. It isn't until season 5 when Alberto is finally confronted by Dubya who cunningly smashes him in the face with a Florida Orange. Alberto counters by buying a new motorbike which Laura of course impresses Laura. Not to be outdone, Dubya punctures the O-zone layer. Heartfelt laughter all around.
The show was never well received by critics, noticeably after the first and second seasons, when many began suspecting it of recycling old material. Critic Roger Ebert cited the second season episode Block Rockin' Yellow Cakes as being similar in theme to sixth season episode Yellow Cake Rocks Your Block Bitch!. Ebert is quoted as claiming "They're exactly the fucking same!"
Fans echoed the sentiment, but couldn't bring themselves to find their television remotes, and generally just accepted the sub par humor as a sign of changing times. By it's sixth season fewer than 30% of less easily entertained critics liked the show. One critic from the New York Times is credited to saying this:
|The hit show Everybody Hates Dubya is nothing more than low key political jibber-jabber targeted at making fun of authority figures and Arabs. There is no redeeming value to this show what so ever. I will admit, however, I did find a sick carnal pleasure in watching Dubya and Quayle go streaking down Main Street in the third season. This is a matter I am currently dealing with privately.|
Yet despite such reviews, Dubya's show remained popular with its dedicated fanbase, airing in prime time throughout it's baffling eight-season lifespan. The show's popularity confused some Americans profoundly it caused them to flee to Canada (in order to watch "Better TV").
Theme Song Lyrics
Despite being just over five minutes long, the show had a recognizable, catchy theme tune:
MC Ren ft. Young Lil'
Rollin' wit Dubs: the Theme from Everybody Hates Dubya
(Polygram Records, 1986)
(Verse 1 - 1:14)
Yeah, Yea, Ye, Yo, Yo….It’s George Dubya Bush!
Everybody be hatin’ on dis wigga!
But cross his country and he’ll kill ya’!
He be shootin’ cats just for fun,
he be loving big black booty buns.
He’s a filibustin’ monster on the prowl,
he'll milk his executive privleges like a cow.
But when it's all said and done in da hood he gets a political rush,
Cause Everybody Hates Dubya Bush!
Everybody Hates Dubya,
Nobody likes dis no good political fiend,
Everybody Hates Dubya,
But damn that Alberto's so fresh and so mean!
You can't put a measurement on his greatness,
He's the zenith of mankind!
Cause when Everybody hates Dubya,
Dubya hates on you!
(Musical Interlude - 0:58)
(Verse 2 - 1:17)
Dats my dawg G dub talking to that chick, (uh-huh)
And when it's all said and done she's gonna be suckin' his dick!
He's the mac daddy, the MC Escher
the MC Fisher
The MC Lee Lee and the Moving Picture!
He has the world on his fingertips,
he's got his palm on his girl Laura's tits!
It's the grandest of the all,
it's time to have a ball! Hatin on George Dubya Bush!
(Repeat Chorus x2 - 1:02)
Overall Viewer Rankings
- 1st Season - 6th most watched show on Television (45.3)
- 2nd Season - 3rd (285)
- 3rd Season - 5512%
- 4th Season - -5%
- 5th Season - 1.4 chickens, 2 bushels of apples..
- Many could not believe the show was picked up for at this point (an online petition was even filed in favor of a it's cancellation). Critical guru Roger Ebert claims: "Being placed in the same time slot as Flip Flop Game Show was the key to the series' success. Everybody Hates Dubya just had that nonsensical charisma that really helped it jump the shark."
- 6th Season - Π%
- 7th Season - .0247873%
- 8th and Final Season -1.2%
- Dubya won six Emmys over it's run:
- 1989, 1992 - Best Lighting in a Televised Soap Opera.
- 1995 - Award for Best Supporting Actor in a Televised Infomercial (to Dan Quayle, who wasn't actually portraying his character in the nominated episode).
- 1992, 1593, 1994 - Best Guest Appearance by a relatively important black person (Colin Powell, 50 Cent and Rupert Murdoch, respectively).
- George W. Bush is credited for narrating the show, when actually, the narration is recorded by Chris Rock.
- Though it aired on CBS, The CW Network showed initial interest in the program years before its premiere. Then they realized that it was either Dubya or their trip to Lake Tahoe, however, and quickly backed out.
- There were a total 5,743 booty shots taken throughout the series run, roughly double the amount of visible nip slips and nearly triple the amount of close-ups on Dubya's face. According to sources within the White House, this was one of the few accurate portrayals in the show (due to the fact that most of the bitches rolled with D. Rummy, noted real-life political pimp extraordinaire).
- A spin-off to the series, filmed under the working title An Inconvenient Truce about Dubya and Alberto having to live next door to each other in a suburban neighborhood. When CBS passed on the series, the Lifetime: Television for Women network expressed interest. No pilot was produced, however.
- After watching two episodes of the show, famed political commentator Kayne West publicly apologized to George W. Bush claiming that he didn't like black people.
- Texas during the last three seasons tried to distance itself from the show by promptly banning it from public TV.
- No Asian characters had English speaking lines.
- DVD sales of Dubya are moderately high within the Republican community. (#34 on Rush Limbaugh's Holiday Must Haves List, placing it squarely between Family Guy season 12 and The Deer Whisperer (Remastered Director's Cut))
- This bit of trivia will never be used on Jeoporady! with Alex Trebek.