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Aerial photograph of Everywhere.

Along with Here and There, Everywhere is one of the three possible destinations of physical travel.

This page is a piece of crap. The author acknowledges this fact.


Everywhere is a particularly popular destination, especially among those large numbers of people who are Here and wish to be There, but lack either the cash or the sobriety to Go. As it is logically impossible to Go Everywhere, people who find themselves Everywhere usually do so as the result of a fuckup, or a fuckdown, causing them to be either Above or Below the legal directions. In some countries this is punishable by Rickrolling, but the large number of people finding themselves "neither here nor there" means that such laws are generally unenforceable.

Culture and Geography[edit]

Everywhere, while hard to get to, is in many respects identical to many Places, for the reason that "It's the same Everywhere". (This fact also disproves the abominable heresy that there is more than one Everywhere, since when you arrive you simply find "It's the same Everywhere".) However there are certain cultural and geographic factors which distinguish it from just Anywhere.

People : The natives of Everywhere are known as Foreigners. Their native language is Funni. "They speak Funni and they're Everywhere."

Capital : The capital city of Everywhere is The Middle (not to be confused with "The Middle of Nowhere", which always adds the "of nowhere" to avoid this ambiguity).

Exports : The main exports of Everywhere are cassava, Pokemon, and things.

Currency : The currency of Everywhere is the Bassoon. There are one hundred oboes to the Bassoon, six hundred ophicleides to the oboe, and a pair of cats in a bucket in Chichester.

Here, There and Everywhere[edit]

There have been many recorded cases of individuals, when quizzed about their recent whereabouts, claiming to have been "Here, There and Everywhere". However it is highly unlikely that such people have actually visited Everywhere, since, if they attempted to get there from Here, they would find themselves There. It stands to reason.