Evil snowmen

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Evil snowmen are always on the prowl, even during summer. Watch out or they'll start stealing ice from your freezer to make themselves into super-buff snowjocks and steal your girlfriend assuming you have one, and if you don't, they'll steal the girl that you most WISH was your girlfriend instead!

[edit] Identifying

If the old man down the street is incredibly pale-white and drippy-looking with sticks for arms ... chances are he's just an old man having trouble with the sno-cone machine again. But if you see such a man carrying a sign reading "Melting is Surrender, Fight to the End", it's more likely a snowman. And unless it's singing, it's evil. Singing is the only way to single out a good snowman from evil ones. Didn't you ever watch that Frosty the Snowman cartoon thing?

[edit] Proper Combat Techniques

Some good general combat techniques for fighting evil snowmen are:

• Bring some water - sometimes it'll freeze on contact with the snowmen, immobilizing them.
• Flamethrowers: Always carry one or more with you at all times.
• Chocolate. Snowmen hate chocolate. No one knows why. Probably the same reason they like to put carrots on their faces and replace working eyeballs with coal.
• Rabbits will eat their carrot noses, making them unable to smell, which will leave them unable to navigate as smell is their primary form of navigation.
• Anti-Snowman Pencil Sharpeners - The most effective anti-snowman tool out there. Buy one at your local anti-snowman artillery shop. These things work like magic.

[edit] Other

Evil snowmen was also the name of a rap/rock/jazz/country/lightweight aluminum (as opposed to heavy metal) fusion band founded in 1797 and disbanded 3 hours later when one of their members was eaten by a real evil snowman because he wasn't carrying his anti-snowman pencil sharpener. Tsk tsk ... forgetfulness can have terrible consequences.

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