Exaggeration
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“I never, ever, exaggerate.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Exaggeration
Exaggeration is the most esteemed, highly regarded, respected and admired art in the history of literature. Used by every single last writer in the world, to exaggerate is to stress a point far more than is justified - for example, to claim that Wikipedia is the most accurate user edited encyclopedia in the world, when plainly millions upon millions upon billions of websites are in close proximity for this position
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[edit] History of Exaggeration
The first recorded exaggeration occurred many millennia before recorded history. Upon returning to the cave, a caveman told his wife that he was late returning due to the size of the raptor he had just killed. After trekking with the husband to see this raptor, she was dismayed to see its dimunitive stature, thus giving meaning to the concept of exaggeration, and also to divorce in one fell swoop, sending a rippling tidalwave of socio-economic consequences that are still felt to this very day. And possibly the next.
[edit] Famous Exaggerations
Every person ever to become famous exaggerates at every possible oppurtunity. Below are just some of the trillions of exaggerations documented, with the exaggerative word in bold, not just bold but the boldest hue of bold that has been seen or will ever be seen on this or any other website.
“There are none at all.”
~ Saddam Hussein on Weapons of Mass Destruction
“Absolutely anyone could hack it.”
~ Linus Torvalds on Windows XP
“It'll become one of the most popular sites on the Internet, I promise.”
~ Jimmy Wales on Wikipedia
“Even the biggest elephant never forgets.”
~ Spinal Tap on Elephants
[edit] Conclusions on Exaggeration
Nobody can possibly function without exaggeration. Exaggeration has been the cause of every historical incident, whether for better or worse. From the Cuban missile crisis, caused by the American claim to have written the very best Russian Reversal ever, and the Soviet counterclaim to have been written by it years before, through to the fall of the Berlin Wall, precipitated by Günter Schabowski's well documented exaggeration that "Every German wants to live in the West". Exaggeration is the very first skill learned by infants upon developing speech. Exaggeration is the most vital of the abilities granted on mankind, and the loss of the ability to exaggerate would cause a disaster of cataclysmic proportions.
