FARMVILLE

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Common Knowledge[edit]

Farmville is one of the best Communist games ever created in society. You may find it on Facebook and it requires day in and day out of planting amazing crops, building structures (that are doomed to remain unfinished), taking care of animals, and harvesting them for money while bugging your friends about it. The game is found by most to be very boring. But I bet there are some things you didn't know about Farmville.

A picture of the exciting things Farmville can do

Behind the Scenes[edit]

Theory 1: Farmville was made by a secret society with the goal of world domination by the art of programming. They hoped to accomplish many evil deeds, in fact all the profit from Farmville cash (Like $4.00 a month) goes towards making the game as addictive as possible to vulnerable humans with insufficient space in their backyard to grow REAL vegetables. (Meanwhile, they have secret contracts with condo developers and landlords to make apartment living more affordable than home ownership.) The game was developed with ancient arcane magic usually used to turn human beings into garden gnomes. This magic is quite versatile. Because the secret society is actually a witch coven and sorority, it is a fact that it was entirely made by females. Those witches must be up to no good with the development of this horrifying game. This game is designed to achieve world domination by sucking up the spare time (and sometimes working hours) of millions and attempting to recruit all their friends into the mesmerizing mind-numbing properties of this game.

Theory 2: A top secret division of the government created Farmville to keep the unemployed from rioting in the wake of the most serious recession since the 1930s. Farmville accomplishes this by (1) Giving a false sense of productivity and accomplishment; (2) Requiring constant attention from the game addicts so as to keep them anchored in one place (ie in front of their computer). The more people can be kept constantly at their computers, the less people are likely to be able to start public protests and create undesirable attention on the current economic climate. (3) Alienating game addicts from their non-gaming friends, who are tired of seeing Farmville requests but haven't got around to blocking the application yet. (4)Creating a distraction to entertain the young and create a new generation of Farmville addicts.

Purpose[edit]

At first the game was designed to give a fun and meaningful experience to players, but after this proved impossible the witches took over the design team to do, well, whatever they wanted to do it for. Soon the games goal became clear, to capture every child and lonely 40 year old guy in his mom's basement, then train and create a farming and mechanical fish army to take over the world!

How to play[edit]

Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Clicick. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Did I mention clicking yet? Oh, okay.k. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. If you get a headache, use HeadOn. Apply directly to your forehead.

What will it do to me?[edit]

Players who are being absorbed by this game will experience uselessness, tiredness, redness of eyes, dislike of life, numb fingers, PMS, and many more. Side effects of this medication might include the Twilight-Virus, jumping up and down, depression, frustration because you have to wait a bloody three hours until your crops are grown, 5 o' clock shadow, and laziness. The only way to cure this is to jump off a cliff and forget Farmville. Note, jumping off a cliff might do more than just forgetting Farmville

External links[edit]