Failure
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“My God! It's full of FAIL!”
~ Dave Bowman on The Art of Fail
“If at first you don't succeed, you fail.”
~ GLaDOS on Failure
“What is this 'failure' you speak of?”
~ Oscar Wilde on not knowing Failure
“Wait...why am I here?”
~ George W. Bush on his presidency
“Hey thats what Briggsy did!”
~ Captain Obvious on failing at not being tard
“Hey! I Don't fail and neither does runescape. Because I just got a dragon dagger P++! Über kool!”
~ Runescape player on failure
“Runescape does suck.”
~ Runescape staff on Runescape
“Yeah, it does.. FunOrb is better.”
~ User:Q Kue Q on RuneScape
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[edit] History
Failure arrived with Runescape, a collosal asteroid that hit the planet in the the late 1900s. First landing in the middle of England, failure soon spread to the rest of Europe and North America, and eventually to all other continents. Runescape is the source of all failure. With failure now spreading to the moon, soon it will engulf enough of the world to destroy all life everywhere, turn into a giant monster, and fly off into space. Failure now proceeds to spread to other gaxalys where it continues its universe-wide domination. Today, the reigning king of failure is none other than Emperor Nedwardian of the pokemon world. The increase in fail numbers has be slightly decreased in number by the increase in resistance fighters: The anti-fail soldiers. These men are each dressed in green dresses with the words: "[THE FAIL SHALL NOT COME TO ME]" in giant blue letters.
[edit] Types of Failure
[edit] Political Failure - Invented by George W. Bush
Failure was lead by Emperor Nedwardian who was connected to the much disapproved uprising of the Runscape era. Nothing is more symbolic of failure than Green, Ned, specifically presidents. Every 4 years, those who are afflicted with failure think there will actually be a good president. However, to get into politics one must have a very high failure average. In fact politicians hold the record for highest amount of failures, ever. Nothing about politics dosent fail. To see this in action, go to your nearest politician and propose legalising murder at random. While most others would never consider such an action, a politician will think on this for days, perhaps weeks, before attempting to persuade fellow politicians to support the new murder act. When they have gathered enough supporters, their levels of fail will be so great that the nearest government authority will be forced to accept it.
[edit] Educational Failure
Not much to say here, as it is common knowledge that the public education does not work. Schools are known to be such failures that they can poison the mind of anyone who enters, turning them into a failure zombie, a mindless slave of the schools who attempt to take over the world.
[edit] Video Failures
Video failures can refer to fails in television and movies. The most common is the 3d talking animal fail, which includes the movies G-Force, Chicken Little, Finding Nemo, Happy Feet, Kung Fu Panda, Wall-E, The Lion King, Bambi, the one with puppies in space, and Sonic the Hedgehog (may not be a movie), off the top of my head. As you can see, theres way too many. And these are just the ones with animals, there's also robots, monsters, people and even inanimate objects.
These are all alike in 3 ways:
- They are advertised as comedies but are not.
- They are full of such massive amounts of fail, the 2nd dimension cound not hold it.
- The New York Times said they were all the funniest movies of the year.
HOWEVER, there IS IN FACT, ONE film by Disney that ISN'T a failure, and it's called, Kitsune to Ryōken. Unlike the other failures previously meantined, THIS movie is Japanese! It's about a fox kit named Todd and a bloodhound puppy named Copper who become best friends, while their owners are neo-conservative fundamentalist Christians. Copper thinks Tdd killed Chief so he swears revenge. Then they go through a series of misfortunate events which ultimately prove that they shouldn't have broken their friendship in the first place.
[edit] Educational failures
Educational TV failure is another common failure type. This is because educational TV consists entirely of talking animals. The purpose of educational tv is to elminiate stereotypes by creating its own stereotypes. It also teaches about the morals of owning talking dogs, which are really pretty common. The plotline of these shows is as follows:
"Im a talking dog. Yay! I like eating bones. Bones are good. Give me a bone. I also like meat. Cats? I hate cats. Cats can die. Did I hear the word fetch? I fetch things. Thats because im a dog. But i can talk too. Also i cant understand normal years, i have to use dog years because i die early. Dont ask why, because normal years are just 1 orbit around the sun. Also, dogs are perfect and anyone who wont give them equal treatment as humans is always a villan in these shows. Did I just spell villan wrong? That's just because I fail."
[edit] Gaming Failures
Gaming failures are the failures that stretch the definition of a game. Several games are overrated to extremes, while others are just plain terrible. Gaming Failures are very self-explanatory. However many of these failures go unnoticed, causing the gaming industry to contain large undiscovered amounts of failure. The Wii is a game console which has failed, in more multiverses than one.
one such gaming failure is sonys stubid box thing. aswell as including hours of pointless setup and anoyence it includes an amazing new customer service automated voice that will entertain the listener for no time at all!
[edit] Internet Failure
[edit] Epic Fail
Lastly, there are the " epic failures ", or just "epic fail" as they are more commonly known as. These failures are the most epic for two reasons - One, they are epic, so obviously they are epic.
Two: They aren't really a type of failure on their own. Instead, any of the failure types above can become epic failures of their own type. An epic fail is like a normal fail, except it's way more epic. For example, a guy who gets kicked in the balls by Oscar Wilde has just gone through a failure. A guy who gets kicked in the balls by Oscar Wilde, while Oscar Wilde also steals his spouse, is "epic fail" in comparison.
The term "epic fail" is not to be used lightly. It should only be used for serious matters. To give you an idea of its seriousness, consider this: Someone who commits a failure of epic proportions has failed so badly that he is worthy of getting linked to the following website: http://YouFail .Org
[edit] See also
- Americans
- Democrat Party
- Republican Party
- George W. Bush
- Barack Obama
- Catostrophic time space failure
- EPIC FAIL!
- Failure University
- HowTo:Fail an Exam
- Luke Skywalker
- Mexico
- Skin failure
- That Time I Failed My Spelling Test
- You
- Your mother
- ????
- Profit!!!
FAIL Realistic Your Score: 0 Investigative Your Score: 0
Artistic Your Score: 0 Social Your Score: 0 Enterprising Your Score: 0 Conventional Your Score: 0
