False Idol

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False Idol was a reality television talent show. The show was first broadcast in Palestine in the early first century AD. The show was hosted by Queen Jezebel, and co-hosted by her husband Ahab.

In the Saturday night primetime show, hopeful minor deities first auditioned before four judges (Allah, Buddha, Jehova and Shiva) for the chance to earn a place in the holy pantheon of deities and reap the obvious financial benefits that accompany major religion. Auditionees would perform minor miracles (for example, making their image appear in foodstuffs, parting the waters of a small canal/fjord, etc.) to progress though the earlier rounds. As the competition progressed and the contestants' numbers were whittled down, the remaining contestants took each other on in the head-to-head rounds, smiting their opponents' followers with plagues of locusts, rivers of blood and so forth.

Besides the successful auditioners, the poorest "idols" were often aired due to their obvious lack of talent or holiness. Poor idols often faced harsh criticisms from many judges, mainly Allah (whose controversial rantings would later make him famous on American Idol). The judge's reactions often extended from disgust to nearly open laughter over such performances. Guest judges included Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, George Bush, Patty Hurst, Elijah, and even Jesus Christ.

False Idol
False Idol.jpg
False Idol Finalists
(with dates of elimination)
Season 1
BaalWinner
Marduk 2nd Place (9 February)
Yaghuth(2 February)
Nammu(26 January)
Barbelo(19 January)
Season 2
MolochWinner
Yarikh 2nd Place (21 December)
Dagon(14 December)
Dyeus(7 December)
Euri(30 November)