Fascist-Republican Party
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| Political Ideology: | Fascist-Republicanism |
| Leader: | Dick Cheney |
| Founders: | Dick Cheney, David Duke, George W. Bush, and Donald Rumsfeld |
| Founded: | June 6, 1996 |
| Number of Seats in House: | 0 (de facto: 199) |
| Number of Seats in Senate: | 0 (de facto: 49) |
The Fascist-Republican Party (FRP) is a political party in the United States of America. Combining fascism and the ideology of the Republican Party (a bit redundant, eh?), it's the only party of its kind. It currently secretly controls the Republican Party.
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[edit] History
The FRP was founded on June 6, 1996. The founding date (6/6/96) was supposed to be the date 6/6/6, but the founders didn't want to wait until 2006. The founders were white supremacist David Duke, member of the notorious Bush family George W. Bush, evil-doer and leader Dick Cheney, and military madman Donald Rumsfeld. The party tried to bribe Bob Dole to let the FRP take control over the Republican Party during the 1996 elections. Dole (being the self-centered jerk he is) refused,saying that "Bob Dole wouldn't want Bob Dole to accept a bribe while Bob Dole was watchin'...Bob Dole". However, during the 2000 election, Bush got the party nomination. With the Republican Party at its command, the FRP (like the Nazi Party) ruined their country. Rumsfeld eventually split from the party, later outing its secret to everyone. John McCain agreed to carry on the FRP-Republican Party agreement, but lost to Barack Obama. With Bush in the crapper, Cheney secretly on medications (the reason he didn't want to run for president), and Duke out lynching, the party's future seemed unclear, and heading towards destruction. That leads this: Shortly after the 2008 election, Rumsfeld released a statement and several documents verifying the FRP control over the Republican Party. The FRP has been banned, though allegedely still exists in secrecy. It is unknown why Rumsfeld destroyed the FRP, but many believe it is because Cheney cheated him out of $50,000 and a nude pic during a strip poker game.
[edit] Membership
Membership was (and presumably is, if the party exists) invitation-only. Some 9,000 people were convicted in November of 2008 for alleged membersip in the FRP.
[edit] Headquarters
Out of the documents that Rusmfeld released, 3 locations were cited as the headquarters of the FRP. Those were:
- Crawford, Texas
- Hell
- Up Bill Clinton's ass
No one has concrete evidence where the FRP HQ is, or possibly was.
[edit] Party Platform
Most of the party platorm was the same as that of the Republicans. However, there were some plans the FRP had in mind for America. Those include:
- Creating a one-party system, banning the Democratic Party.
- Making Christianity, Catholicism, and Satanism (but let's call it "the official State Protestant church") the only acceptable religions.
- Creating Liberal extermination camps.
- Degrading all minorities with the introduction of racial profiling and segregation.
- Banning women from voting, having jobs, disagreeing with their husbands, have their own money, driving cars and getting birth control.
- Building solid gold statues of conservative heroes (and Adolf Hitler, but he was at first a Liberal socialist. Oh wait, he's a "National-ist" first and definitely did not believe in equality of mankind).
- Making Holocaust denial mandatory.
- Banning all non-gasoline vehicles to promote Global Warming.
- Invading Atlantic Canada, as the Canadians don't want the area anyway.
- Destroying all national parks to build enormous and unsafe theme parks.
- Banning all satirical comedy shows, so FRP members wouldn't be made fun of.
- Invading more oil-filled countries like Iraq.
- Prohibit public schools from teaching evolution and science.
- Genetic engineering in biochemical labs to eliminate one group that gets everything handed to them and especially that one group that controls everything.
