Fauske

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Because of their incurable biases, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will probably never have an article about Fauske. We are sorry they insist on being this lame.

General info[edit]

Fauske is a metropolitan city in northern Norway situated about 60 000 meters to the right of Bodø when looking upon ye olde map. The city is quite famous for having the most pure aryan population in all of Europe. The fact that everyone in the village of 2 000 people and a sheep are blonde is due to the fact that it has been cut of from the rest of Norway with a great wall and armed quards since the days of colonization.

Image of typical inhabitant of Fauske

Famous people[edit]

Famous people from Fauske include the well trained athlete Lars Bang, and top Norwegian alpinist Lasse Kjus. Fauske is also producer of the world famous Fauske-Granitt (a type of rock with a greyish colour). Granitt from Fauske has been used in the now burned down Reichstag of Berlin, and on the doorsteps of the White House in Washington DC. Also G W Bush has a toilet made of the same substance.

Economy and trade[edit]

There is a well-known fierce rivalry between Fauske and the neighbouring town of Bodø, often resulting in vicious attacks on Bodø-people travelling east to buy handcarved statues of Raud den Rame made from Fauske-Granitt. This has serious consequences for the Fauske economy. After Granitt, together with Norwegian salmon, became kontrabande in the European Union, 97 percent of Fauskes exports has been handcraft bought by the more wealthy residents of Bodø. But after the last major attack on Bodø-people buying Granitt (link to local newspaper) another violent attack on Bodø-people, this trade has dropped 60 percent. Thus, Fauske has singlehandedly pulled down Norway from the #1 spot on the United Nations Human development index, to a mediocre 87th place.


Famous visitors[edit]

Some local controversy resulted from the visit of american actor and folk musician Burt Reynolds in 2001. For a period of seven months he resided in the infamous Fauske Hotell. There were several reports of hostility between local youths and the Hollywood actor, on one occation resulting in a brooken chair in the hotel resturant.