Fictionology

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Fictionology is the best religion in the world. It is the most diverse, accommodating, yet simple religion in theoretical existence. Anything anyone makes up can be called Fictionology. Adherents of the religion worship whomever/however they choose, and are even encouraged to find ever new deities to worship. It differs from many traditional religions, which often teach that there is only one true or valid religion. Instead, each Fictionologist has a unique set of beliefs, values, practices, and rituals that are all equally valid under the banner of Fictionology. While many individual Fictionologists will naturally think that their specific version of it is best, most are tolerant of other sects within Fictionology.


History of Fictionology[edit]

Picardism

There is no particular date that can be given for the actual invention of Fictionology, as it has been practiced for most of recorded history. It has been only since the last quarter of the twentieth century, however, that the active creation of new "sects" has been embraced and promoted by a significant portion of the general public. It is linked to Scientology, but that douchebag religion is no where closely related to this.

A very pivotal event in the history of Fictionology was the Council of Trent, spanning 1545-1643, wherein several church leaders voted on specific theological doctrines. Never before had such a significant occurrence of beliefs being dictated by popular vote, rather than Word of God, happened. This was a major step in the development of the religion. However, Fictionology in Europe went into remission throughout much of the latter half of the first millennium and the first half of the second millennium CE; when the above-mentioned voted-upon beliefs, strangely, became canon, and many individuals were persecuted and killed for engaging in Fictionology.

Fictionology has been consistently widespread in the East, especially India, where individuals are given up to 33,000,000 deities to choose from; this does not even include ones they are free to invent.

Fictionology began to gain new ground in the West with the coming of the Rennaissance. People gradually became free to worship whatever and whomever they wished, whether it be the sun, the moon, the stars, their favorite artists, their favorite characters from fiction, or even abstract nouns like logic and reason.

It was not until the beginning of the third millennium that the very concept and core values of Fictionology were canonized: Probably the most significant date in its history can be given in 2003 with the publication of Bud Don Ellroy's Imaginetics, a work that was the culmination of several decades' worth of research and soul-searching. [1] It was only with this book that the term "Fictionology" came into widespread use. In this book Ellroy claims to have invented Fictionology; however, it has been shown that he can only be credited with popularizing the term Fictionology and coining the term Imaginetics (the process by which one becomes a Fictionologist), rather than inventing the concept.[2]

Many, however, find this peccadillo excusable on Ellroy's part, for two reasons: One is that the book is so significant a contribution to the religion of Fictionology that it is difficult to imagine the world without the book, and the second is that "invention claims" are expected, almost obligatory, for "self-proclaimed messiahs" such as Ellroy. Indeed, the very act of proclaiming that oneself is God incarnate or the Messiah is quite a popular variant within Fictionology; South Korea's Sun Myung Moon is a commonly cited example.

Examples of Fictionology[edit]

The four principal deities of Southparkism

Fictionology has innumerable sects. Just as Christianity has Catholics, Protestants, Lutherans, Methodists, Presbyterians, Anglicans, Orthodox, Gnostics, Essenes, and so on similarly, Fictionology has Batmaniacs, Mickey Mousers, Lolcatism, Destructionism, Musicism, and Scientology, just to name a few. Also, Fictionology's sects can also have sub-sects. For example, Trekkism has practically innumerable sub-sects, such as Q-ism, Kirkism, Picardism, Klingonism, Androidism, Borg Collectivists, and the Jane Way. As another example: Lucasism includes Yodism, Vaderism, Sky Walking, Leiites, and Clones.

Becoming a Fictionologist[edit]

The principal deity of Lolcatism

Simple steps to becoming a successful fictionologist:

1. Make up a deity, or choose one from any fictional character you've heard about. Substitute the name wherever you would normally use the word "God" or any other deity's name used in normal speech.

2. Make up or adopt some exotic-sounding names and words, and throw them into your everyday speech, and act offended if anyone seems puzzled. A common variant of this is to use normal words as exact synonyms for words they are unrelated to, or to always use a word's foreign-language equivalent (in any tongue) instead of the word itself.

3. Make up some arbitrary rules, or adopt/adapt them from a work of fiction. Taking them out of context is encouraged. Follow them uncompromisingly, and accuse anyone who criticizes you of being a bigot.

4. Get one or more famous celebrities to join your scam-uh, I mean religion.

Optional steps:

  • Write a book about it and publish it, and try to sell it to everyone you meet, without exception.
  • Get a spot on public television and promote it. Insist that you did not make any of it up, but that all of it has been miraculously revealed to you by "God" (or whichever deity you choose to insert).
  • Variant: instead, one may take the opposite extreme and claim to be either God or God's Chosen One, or an incarnation of a famous historical deity. Luke Skywalker is the best one to choose. If you don't pick him, Penguins will brainwash you to join their evil cause to stop Jesus, Luke Skywalker, and Master Chief.

See Also[edit]

  • The Onion, May 11, 2005
  • [1]