“That's a drill made out of fire, right? Get Homeland Security to send us some of those.”
“ At least they have more purpose than tornado drills...”
Fire drills, also known to some people as Le Drille (what the hell is that?), thad damn annoying loud buzzer that goes of whenever I blow up the bathroom, dammit, Los Drillias, Les Fwit de Drille or Vatos Locos Drillios Bondos Doritos Kristos Cindos Blangos Pastos Delrios, was a practice invented in 1423 B.C by former Pakistani brick layer and motel maid Kobe Bryant (1562 B.C - Present). Who, with his busy schedule of juggling two crap jobs, 5 bowling pins, 16 bean bags, 28 grapefruit, five oranges, and finding time to pull every fire alarm in both public and private schools, still finds time to rape people in between. This was later known as the Civil Rights Movement.
Origin of Fire Drills
At the young age of 357 Kobe Bryant was juggling two jobs (read above for what those were). He had witnessed many people die from fires because there were no WARNINGS! WARNINGS! WARNINGS! in the work place that a fire had started in.
Fearing his own safety he decided to make a device for all work places around the world that signified when a fire had started, you should simply just have to pull a lever/trip a smoke alarm and a very loud bell would start to go off. Young Kobe went home and with help from his friend Jesus built a device better then he imagined. Materials used consisted of: iron, plastic, a ball of chewing gum, multiple curse words, offense to 30+ different races, and a boxing bell, he called this the 'need-of-water-alarm' (NOWA).
He set four throughout his motel and finally got to test them out when a visitor to the motel caught his sheets on fire while smoking in bed, the guest pulled the NOWA and everyone evacuated safely thanks to Kobe's excellent fire drill escape plans, except for one man who was found later when the fire was extinguished and everyone was back inside.
The man was later identified as the owner of the motel, no burns were visible but there were several stab wound, three bullet holes a collapsed esophagus, proof of achohol poisoning and heart failure. The law enforcment of the area was still miraculously able to link the owners death to the unforseen fire that was started. They were later proven as mentally insane. Because of his heroic device that saved all the people in the motel (he never found out about the owner) he sold his device to the fire station who has stationed them everywhere. Kobe believes that fire alarms should be more often so everyday he goes to 39.3245 different places after work and pulls three fire alarms in earch place. Kobe has also been known to set fire to schools just to hear the his device's lovely, loud dinging. The NOWA was then later entitled 'the fire alarm".
Today's Uses Of NOWAs
NOWAs and Kobe's wonderfully planned fire drill escape routes have been used frequentally in today's day and age. The are mainly used for getting out of class or leaving work early. Extremely mean people have used the loud NOWAs to suddenly give obese people heart attacks.
Future NOWA and Fire Drill Escape Routes
The U.S. Army have talked about turning NOWAs (like everything else) into a new type of device that will help them to create a more powerful version of their Weapons Of Mass Destruction, while Kobe's fire escape routes have been constantly used for the military to escape tough situations during way.
Kobe is reportedly happy that invention can help make a difference for his countries army (yeah like they need anymore weapons.)
Famous Quotes During a Fire Drill
Homer Simpson: "Doh Doh, Ah! Doh!"
Kyle: 'If you do that again I WILL rape you up the ass with a pencil sharpener."
James Bond: "Vodka martini, shaken not stirred"
'random public school classmate "uh oh...has anyone seen that box i brought this morning? with the fuse coming out?"
Indian Talk Show Host: "Ooooh! There's that bell again, the one with lovely dinging, oh its just lovely. The first time I heard that I was so excited it was almost like the first time I slept with my sister."
James Brown: "Alabu du all my people say he HEY!!!!!!"