Gun

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

(Redirected from Firearms)
Jump to: navigation, search
The Liberals can take my gun if they can dodge the bullets.

And when we run out of bullets, they are going to wish we hadn't

~ Black guy from L4D2

I don't use guns

~ Brock Samson

Eat SHIT and DIE!

~ Marcus Fenix, with an active reload

In Soviet Russi-... (BLAM!) (BLAM!)

~ Russian Reversal on being stopped from making another dumb joke about this article's subject

The modern gun or firearm is a tool designed specifically for reverse extending the existence of any creature, plant, student of a high-profile liberal school, deer, turkey, your mom, duck, or terrorist. The main parts of a gun include the thing you pull when you want something to die; the end you point at anything you want to die; the bit where you don't stick your finger; the hole where the ammunition goes in; the part you look into to see the creature you wish to die; and the shoulder thing that goes on your shoulder. (Please note, do not point the part that kills things at yourself, unless you're an idiot,an emo or lookin' for an easy suicide. Just warnin' ya). There are many various types and styles of guns in this modern age: Starting small, a handgun such as the Glock 18 is used in bank robberies by terrorists and other various bad guys. Going up to medium size, a .50 cal fully automatic machine gun for hunting deer. To a larger chain gun to take out small vermin in your house, finally ending with a remote control atomic rocket for the neighbors. In America alone, over 350 million people a year die due to gun related violence.

Contents

[edit] Guns (God's Gift)

This picture is apparently telling Liberals to back off the 2nd amendment.

Guns were meant for planning attacks on Bush or Obama. Being very fun to play with, these tools help build the imagination at a young age of 1. Because what is better then blowing the brains out of your brother, because you were so much of a retard to learn how to use a gun properly. The "Nuge" (AKA Ted Nugent) gave kids guns hoping that one of them would be wise enough to do us all a favor and bust a cap up in your mum's ass most likely to be a 243 bolt action or an AK47. It was also used to develop interpersonal skill among young children with the latest fashion being, who can kick ass with the biggest gun. Young teens may use the gun to expel their problems on surrounding friends and then blame the music they listen to, mainly seen in white kids, and get away with it. In adult life the gun is often a symbol of "he got bitches in <insert area code here>" The terms most often used while wielding guns is " I'm gonna bust a cap in yo ass bitch!" or as Wayne Brady so eloquently put "Brace yo'self fool!"

Warning, guns are dangerous. Do not use indoors or place in mouth,but remember to keep shooting Al Queda members. Do not let people under the age of 3 months handle guns. Bullets not included. Please make sure the barrel is pointed at everyone but you. Be sure to not get a 50 cal because some people were arrested for planning an attack on Obama.

[edit] Gender roles of guns

There are three types of women who use guns.

George Bush contemplating whether or not to kill the Arab leaders at a Peace world conference in Dallas.

[edit] The Natural Gun

The "Natural Gun" (from the Latin rectus telum, meaning natural weapon) is generally found in the groin area below the typical male mammal's waist. However, a breed of females called shemales have been found to have both male and female genitalia. It is often called the penis, however, this is incorrect terminology, as the correct form is rectus telum. The plural form is recti tela. It is often shortened to telum and tela meaning weapon and weapons, respectively.

The rectus telum is used during sexual intercourse between a male and a female (see sex), a male and a male (see gay), a shemale and a male (see you), or a shemale and a shemale (see lesbian).

[edit] A Popular Misconception

One popular misconception about guns is that in the Czech Republic they can be exchanged for tins of smuggled tuna in lieu of currency. This is not true and in fact has never been true since Biblical days. See Alan Hansen. Mr T pittys tha fool

[edit] Gun Culture

Daily activity found in most Wal-Marts.

Guns are grown from a bacterial culture in a petri dish. they are also grown from the ground and harvested, just like potatoes. Different types of guns are grown in different ways, but that was quite dull so I didn't research it. Please have the courtesy to not notice the poor quality of this section. It really is pointless. The gun culture is now and always has been to shoot that guy at the office who has been on your case about that damn report you didn't hand in hence you use the gun to teach him a lesson. If the Indians had more guns Americans would be wearing much less clothing, and Buffalo Wings would be even MORE popular...

[edit] IMPORTANT!

Uncyclopedia will NOT be held responsible for any harm that you inflict upon others through the use of a gun. Such an occurance is a result of you own stupidity (and inbreeding). We reserve the right to laugh at your/your loved one's deaths/injuries/nut shots because we know that you deserve it you fucking terrorist bastard.

[edit] Gun Types

Gifts from the Black Santa.
Be careful. That's the dangerous end.

[edit] See also

1541 Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)

Personal tools
on Uncyclopedia
In other languages