First Minister of Scotland

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A statue of Donald Dewar, thought to been built by the primitive sun worshipers of prehistoric Scotland.

The First Minister is Scotland's version of a Prime Minister. It's called a First Minister instead because the Scots are particularly concerned to convince people that the Scottish Parliament isn't a cheap copy of that at Westminster.

Scotland's First Minister is Dead Donald Dewar, who is always getting into funny scrapes and amusing situations because he's dead. Oh, Dead Donald, will you ever learn?

Dead Donald's deputy, the Right Hand of the First Minister, is responsible for screwing things up on a day to day basis. The Right Hand is currently "Whacko Jacko" McConnell. "Whacko Jacko" is overdue for resignation, having spent far longer in the job than his predecessor Henry "McNiche".