Flanders
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“Damn Flanders!”
~ Homer Simpson on Damning Flanders
“There are too many foreigners in this town!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Antwerp
Flanders is a small wanna-be country with circa 6 million inhabitants. It used to be a part of Belgium but in 2009 it declared its independence. Rumour has it that Flanders is looking for more Lebensraum and is currently at the verge of invading the inferior country Wallonie.
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[edit] Controversy
Keeping in mind that Belgium does not actually exist, many people believe Flanders is actually a mini state in the Vatican. The pope, son of The Big JC and father of the American king, is by urban myth raised in Flanders' largest city, the famous Antwerp. Dr. Evil (as seen in the movie pictures of Austin Powers) is the pope's twin brother or parallel-universed twin. The film was wrong saying Dr. Evil came from Bruges.
[edit] Flemish independence
Before the independence of the Nazi Flanders, the Flandarians hated the French-speaking Walloons because they tried to overthrow the Nazi Flemish republic. Therefore a special army, named "The flemish movement" (a union of Vlaams Belang and The knights of The Gulden Sporenslag), was assembled to fight off the Walloons. The Walloons got help from the North, the communistic country of Norway. When it looked like Forza Flandria was going to lose, Germany and the weed people came to help Forza Flandria. The Communists retreated and Belgium declared the independence of Forza Flandria.
[edit] TV Characters
“Stupid Flanders!”
~ Homer Simpson on The Flanders Family
Maude Flanders is a female character in the unpopular TV show "The Thompsons." Of course, the Thompsons had to move away from the Flanders and change their name to "The Simpsons" because of Legal Complications and allegations of smelly recluses, Drugs, Sex and Rock 'n' roll. Ooohhh YES! Anyway Homer Thompson killed her with a T-Shirt gun off the bleachers at a sporting event by firing a t-shirt at her and knocking her into a hotdog stand, killing her. Her husband, Ned Flanders, swore revenge by voting for George W. Bush in Florida in 2000, and was the deciding vote for Bush to win over Al Gore as Ned is a Fundamentalist Christan and die-hard Republican.
Homer Thompson and family changed their name to the Simpsons and Homer Thompson goes by Homer Simpson now. Ned Flanders is the annoyingly "perfect neighbor" to the Thomspons who tried to get the Thomspon's children baptized despite Lisa being a Buddhist and Bart being an Atheist and Maggie being a Nihilist. Homer stopped it by taking the baptism meant for Bart, which only halfway worked and made Homer a Unitarian. As a result, Bartology was founded and Bart Simpson renounced his Atheist ways and became the first Bartologist. Ned tried to convert the Thompsons at his wife Maude's request to Christianity, which drove Homer to alcoholism, and the only way they could get the Flanders to stop annoying them was for Homer to shoot a t-shirt at Maude, killing her, so she wouldn't give Ned orders to convert the Thomspons to Fundamentalist Christianity and become Republicans. This is based on real life history in which the real Ned Flanders tried to convert Holland to Fundamentalist Christianity and Right-Wing political beliefs and give up drugs and hookers. Obviously he failed since Holland is more left-wing than Stalin, and each Dutch person smokes more weed than Cheech and Chong, and Holland is full of hookers.
[edit] Music
some Flemish bands:
- Ancient Rites
- Lion's Pride
- Iron Clad
- Gracefallen
- Elfenbloed
- Kwelhekse
- Eljudnir
