Fledermaus

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Portrait Of Fledermaus

Fledermaus Johannesson Morchaco was born May 5th, 1781. As a young boy he often wondered things such as how the world worked, and why clouds didn't fall out of the sky. (It was later proved that clouds did indeed fall out of the sky in the form of rain or in some extreme cases cotton candy but at the time this was not known). Fledermaus went to school where he quickly moved to the top of his class, after proving that he was more skilled at the multiplication tables than any of his friends. However due to his knowledge of 3*7 and the fact his lederhosen were always stained with candy and chocolate, the other boys would make fun of him. This drove Fledermaus to drop out of school and pursue his dream of becoming the first person to make a machine capable of solving simple math problems.

Fledermaus worked long and hard attempting to make a machine that could do math problems. But after ten years, all he had found was that painting a TV screen on a box and attaching some poorly made wheels was not robot/computer material. He sought out some of the better robot/computer designers, but since no one had yet built a computer that failed also. Fledermaus took to the bottle and drank more and more. His life went down hill and his depression became worse. He regularly insulted members of the scientific community, whom he blamed for his downfall. One of these members, Sir Nicolas Donaco resented Fledermaus's constant barrage of insults and threats, and wrote the famous play Die, Fledermaus! (Japanese for "Die, Fledermaus!") This play should not be confused with Deflator Mouse, the tragic tale of a mouse named Jerry Whiskers whose life was sadly ended on Interstate 547 by a Fjord pickup truck (or maybe it was Levy; all those Norwegian car companies sound the same).

The Lawsuit[edit]

Fledermaus, angry over what he called a "Slanderous, vile piece of filth, and yet some of the acting was quite convincing" (1821) sued Sir Donaco over the play. Fledermaus said it threatened him and he didn't feel he was "in a safe environment." Sir Donaco countered pointing out all the death threats his family received from Fledermaus over the fact that gravity was still scientifically acceptable for "some ludicrous reason."

The End[edit]

Fledermaus, upset over his failures eventually just left his home to wander the world as a hobo. Never accomplishing anything, it is amazing people talk about him.

Oscar Wilde[edit]

"Flate or mouse? I don't know what the heck a flate is!" - Oscar Wilde

See also[edit]