Florida Marlins

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The Florida Marlins remain the only team that have not been defeated by the Lakers. They currently somewhat compete in Pro League Baseball. They have won 2 titles. They even beat the Yankees. After the game, they killed a bunch of their own players and brought in a new batch of fish to take their place. Of the 100 fish they brought in, Dan Uggla was the biggest and strongest. Nowadays, they are good really, really good. but they hate the phillies and consider them a terrorist group. also the marlins have deafeated the yankees and are targeting kittens from the japenese baseball team as a blight on this planet . the marlins also are considered the best team with a fish as its logo and the team is a endangered spiecis p.e.t.a. has protested the team logo calling it "a cruel logo "

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The logo for the Killer Whales. This is the first showing of it since 2014.

The Florida Killer Whales burst onto the scene in 1934. Their name sparked immediate controversy. The team sucked so bad, that the 3 fans they had decided they were indeed not "killer". This caused the team to change their name to the Florida Marlins. This year they sucked really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really really really really reaylly really bad.


This was the year that they defeated the Cleveland Indians for the title. They won when Albert Belle attacked a Gatorade cooler and threw it at Steve Wozniak. He fell on top of the Indians' dugout, causing the Marlins to win.

The Next Year...[edit]

These retards asploded their roster. They brought in Steve Bartman as manager. While working undercover as a fan, he caused Moises Alou to drop the ball with his psychic powers. This caused the Cubs to suck worse than they already did. It also propelled the Marlins into the title game against the New York Yankees. They won this game after Steve Wozniak made a surpise appearance. George Steinbrenner had paid him 5 cents to walk onto the Marlins dugout, but Marlins 3B John Cena took the map because it resembled Hulk Hogan. Steve then got his directions crossed and fell onto the Yankee$' dugout. The Marlins won the title again. PHILLIES SUCK YANKEE PENIS


They had yet another firesale after beating the Yankees.

The "F" stands for "firesale".


the marlins are considered the best team in the world defeating the miami dolphins and la lakers and destroying canada with its mutant army of stormtroopers until nuking the yankees at newyork the marlins have a record of 2435457-1 just losing 1 game beat that philli!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The 2008 season consisted of many ups and downs. The firing of manager Freddie Gonzales and the hiring of Mr. Smoot. Mr. Smoot, a relative unknown, led this group of ragtag youngsters to a respectable finish. The biggest shock of the season was when Dan Uggla pushed for the signing of free agent Hardcore Homo. Hardcore, who's known for his antics, is not well liked by anyone, but Uggla insited to GM Midget Mac that they sign him. Well, when Midget Mac spoke to owner Stuart Scott about it, he simply replied BOOYAH! The Marlins finished the season under .500, like many expected. But Hardcore and Mr. Smoot caused the most fireworks with their dugout antics, ultimately ending in Miguel Cabrera ending up with John Cena's jizz all over his face. The Marlins, desperate for fans, changed their mascot from Billy the Marlin to Sexual Harrasment Panda. This did not go over well with the Florida fans, so they switched their name to the Florida DIE FIDELS to try and encourage the Cuban population to come out to the ball game. Sadly, this also failed. Also free blow job day failed causing the marlins to FAIL harder than most sucky teams do. Mr. Smoot quit at the end of the season and the Marlins went into exile once again. This shock cause the MArlins to suck even more sinking below the Tampa Bay Rays and ending the dream that one day thay might attract more that 10 fans to the ballpark. So they changed their name to the Florida Fuckers to make them seem like pimps and get more fans

Current Roster[edit]

Theie roster includes dan uggla chuck norris hnely ramirez doc donald saddam osama bin laden howard stern and lizzie mc guire. the fuckers are also trying to aqquireronald mc donald but cant since their payroll is only 1$. they are thinking of moving to Paraguay and naming themselves the san fernando de las fuentes grandes sin mujeres con grandes tetas peo que tienen grande vagina ...fuckers but instead they decided that salmons and cats taste shiity so they stayed in florida with extra pickles and cheese Also the Fuckers have a special ability possessed by no other team, the ability is to drop the ball on nearly every play

John Cena's Influence[edit]

The day the World Ends! LOL FUCKERS

Seeing as he overCUMS the odds of the league's rules (which allow for an individual to play for only 1 team), he currently plays for all 36 Pro League Baseball Teams. He masturbates to the team's mascot, an overgrown sea lizard he stole from SeaWorld. Cena is the only man to score more points than Kobe Bryant in a single game. This propelled the Fuckers into the playoffs. However, Kobe shot him and the Lakers advanced. Then they lost to John Cena's Minnesota Twins in the following round.

See also[edit]

Major League Baseball
AC East Central West
Baltimore Orioles Chicago White Sox Los Angeles Angels
Boston Red Sox Cleveland Indians Oakland Athletics
New York Yankees Detroit Tigers Seattle Mariners
Tampa Bay Rays Kansas City Royals Texas Rangers
Toronto Blue Jays Minnesota Twins
NC East Central West
Atlanta Braves Chicago Cubs Arizona Diamondbacks
Florida Marlins Cincinnati Reds Colorado Rockies
New York Mets Houston Astros Los Angeles Dodgers
Philadelphia Phillies Milwaukee Brewers San Diego Padres
Washington Nationals Pittsburgh Pirates San Francisco Giants
St. Louis Cardinals