Florida Panthers

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia think they have an article about Florida Panthers.

The Florida Panteras is a hockey team based in Okinawa, Flo Rida. The team breakout was in 1912 and since its beginning the team doesn't have any Stanley Cup, nor even victories, only losses, overtime losses, draws, and other Canadian regulation stuff that this editor don't remember right now, eh?


Da beginning[edit]

They may be bad on the ice but the logo is even worse

Well, since every American socialist state of America has a hockey team, Florida rushed for it. Their creator, and first General manager, Hulk Hogan, realized that they would need heavy firepower for the crew. Before the draft boring stuff they have sent their scout Jeb Bush to Soviet Union, in order to buy some players like some Bure's, Kwiatkowski's, and another Soviet stuff, but instead of it he only gut some nuclear missiles, and kalashinikovs, which he gave it to his brother George Dubya Bush.

When they decided to build a stadium, they spent $50 zillion, but decided to locate it next to the world's largest outlet mall, making the stadium ghetto populated after a couple of years. They also partnered with BankAtlantic, a bank a grand total of 8 people use, which caused all of South Florida to be broke and poor upkeep of voting machines in 2000.

The team got major acquisitions from Finland, players like Olli Jokinen, Sammo Ruttu, Coccu Kovvu, and another players with names that have repeated syllables likes these.

Draft boring part[edit]

Well, since Florida Panthers suck all of the years they always get the first draft. Well, looking at it, it's really good, but instead of it Florida changes their Drafts pick rounds, for old and average players, like Darcie Hordichuka, Thomas Volcom, Tod "the butcher" Bertuzzi, etc...

Here is a list of drafts from Florida Panthers:

Jokinen preparing his secret tecnique, Hadouken!

From now... to the future!!![edit]

Florida high income, 200 bucks per month... is helping the team to pay their payroll. Sometimes they have to play the lotto, to try their luck. With the money prize they will pay the late salary and profits of the players. There has been a speculation that Jeb Bush is now trying to buy the team, he has offered USS$3.500 dollars, and a Mitsubishi Colt 1982 for it, their accionists are looking if it's an available option to selling the team for only that, actually they had asked for a 1988 Toyota Supra.

Check these shoes! Mommy I want one!