Food (country)
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[edit] History of Food
Food was originally founded by the Backstreet Boys after they discovered that if they created a country they could make the laws for it. They immediately outlawed all music except theirs, (oh and Bono)
The current population of Food is 6 people, and a ferret. There was a mass rebellion in the country when the citizens of food discovered that their government was, in fact, outlawing KFC. Once word got out to the rest of the world, the Kernel immediately flew in and owned everyone and everything in it, then he himself became the Grand Masta of Food.
Five years before all that, the Germans invaded Food. But Genghis Khan immediately came to Foods rescue, trampling the Germans with their droogans, a species of dragon known to take kindly to knights who give them walrous meat. The truth is that Food, is actually America. People that live there try to hide that fact, for fear of being shunned by every other nation in the world. But not to worry, the secret's out now!
[edit] Tourist Attractions of Food
Food has many different tourist attractions, including the worlds largest Nacho chip, the fattest gerbil alive, and the Pope. However, all of these foolish muses are nothing compared to the awesome High Dragon Lord, the leader of the new religion known as Dragontology which was founded by some guy. And on many occasions, the Flying Spaghetti Monster comes to visit the capital, Gumma. Short with his visits, he tickles the joyful children with his noodly arms and slathers them in tomato sauces.
Indeed some people say the greatest attraction of Food would be the giant Poo Pot (Winnie the Poo of course). But other argue that the giant Italian balls (meat balls of course) take reign over that position. In one occurrence a Dragontology following formed a rebellion in front of the giant Italian balls, ordering it to be taken down. The president came personally to settle this matter, but he did not comply with any of the rebels demands. So, in turn, the Dragontology members summoned a dragon to take care of the Italian balls. But all the dragon could do, was burn the balls, for they were to large and heavy to pick up and carry away. The smell of burning Italian balls spread throughout the land, and gas masks were issued. Although the spread of the odour was contained, approximately 16-20 gophers died along with 14 birds and half of a moose.
[edit] The Future Of Food
Food has a dark and saddening future in front of it. They signed their death sentance when they allowed the Purple People Eaters to move into Food. This immediately sparked a lawsuit between Barney and Ringo Starr, the new leader of Food. For entire minutes this epic battle roared through the country. When at last Ringo and Barney decided why fight, when leaping lemons had invaded their country! Squishing their juices, they leap, with a renewed vigor. Many people speculate to this day whether this invasion actually occured. But this skepticism has been proved wrong, by long yellow scars covering Barney. When asked about these scars Barney replied, "Shit, where the hell is my toothbrush?" As he was high at the time.
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[edit] Facts On Food
-Food is a greatly diverse place, with its vast multitudes of dragonflies, oh and of course, it is rumoured that above this greatly joyful country with such a nice face, is the field of clouds where God resides with his great friend, Dr. Zeuss
-Food was first referred to as Supper by ancient civilizations.
-Residents fought off the cheeky English fellows in the year 1796, caused the Food Revolution, and were declared an independent nation soon after.
- Allegedly, in the year 1861, Food had a civil war. What is thought to have initially sparked this is the misuse of burnt meat balls. The four witnesses of the war have long since passed, the last surviving until 1978.
- Apparently, there may be a herd of creatures who were thought to be long extinct in Food, the Raging Rhinos. Nothing has been completely proven as of yet, but there have been over four sightings in the past three hours, so we may be on to something.
