Food Chain
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[edit] Introduction
The Food Chain refers to the chain in which the natural order of...cheese is...killed. The chain is shown here. Hippies eat penguins, Tupac eats hippies, Elmo eats Tupac, Monkeys eat Elmo (or alternatively, get high on crack, weed, or ecstacy), Darth Vader eats monkeys, Fat Abbot eats Darth Vader, and Ronald McDonald eats everybody.
[edit] Examples of The Food Chain in Action
The Food Chain was very influential to people such as Fat Abbot's brother Fat Albert. He had read about the food chain and once that happened, Fat Albert stopped consuming 100 Big Macs a day, with 10 pounds of crack as well. He decided to move to Tatooine and eat Jawas, with the occasional bantha on the side. Unfortunately, 50 Cent set up a McDonalds there, so, really, his weight is just going up.
50 Cent- This gorilla, looking for a job on the side to make money, was inspired when he learned about food. Recently he has been travelling to scholars residences very often. He went to Ronald McDonald to learn the ways of the infinately mysterious food. Ronald McDonald decided to take him as an apprentice. One training excersise was to build a McDonalds on Tatooine and give it to the fist fat guy he saw. When that was done, the fat guy had a heart attack. Ronald's reaction to this was strange. Another scholar (Rick James) interperted the reaction to be a traditional Micheal Jackson remark.Ronald McDonald was soon to be reavealed as the infamous child molester. 50 left Ronald, looking for wisdom elsewhere. He ended up meeting a pizza man, threating to kill him if he did not get a bottle of Bacardi within the minute. The pizza man referenced 50 to Seseme Street, where people got drunk on the hour, every hour. He met up with a rival gang, The Muppets, who forced 50 to get plastic surgery. To cover this fact, 50 went out in a helmet, under the identity of Jango Fett. 50, now Jango, decided to hunt bigots. The bigots all became to scared to go by the name "bigots". They quickly, and illegally took up the name Jedi. The leader of the Jedi, the infamous Donald Trump, kept this identity very secret, by killing hobo. Once the hobos died Samuel L. Jackson turned into Harry Potter. Samuel kept this secret as well. There was no reason to kill hobos. Fett was afraid his redneck son Boba was killed. Jango mistook Big Bird, the hobo who was notorious for spreading the bird flu, for his son. So 50/Jango flew to Japan. Samuel and Trump were in a house. An old abanded, haunted house. When 50/Jango found them, he prepared to use his Kamehameha move. 50 didn't know how to say it. But in fact his sung the Caiou theme song, which was an ancient ritual to awaken evil spirits. They heard floorboards creaking. Fortunately, 50/Jango remembered how to deal with creaking floorboards. He got drunk. But he then remembered his special move. "1 Tequila, 2 tequila, 3 tequila, Floor." 50/Jango was too drunk to respond to what happened next. Sudennly, Caiou's Mom walked out. She chased them to Wal-Mart, while Jango drove A Lamborghini Murcielago LP640 Verasce, but got pulled over by Police and had his ride confiscated. Jango stumbled over to Wal-Mart as well. But Osama Bin Laden, who worked at Wal-Mart, mistook 50 for Fat Albert, who wanted to eat him. Meanwhile, Caious mom was getting drunk on Ink-Jet cartridges. Eventually, she got Ink poisoning. Osama then dropped an unfinished atom bomb on Wal-Mart. It split up Harry from Samuel, Trump got cloned and had a smarter, green, and only slightly better looking version of himself, called "Yoda", and Jango was split from 50. They all went along, preserving the natural order of cheese. The Food Chain continued. Yeah, that was all because of the damn Food Chain.
Ronald McDonald- Once known as Michael Jackson, Ronald turned to fishing in happiness of... what he did. Ronald, once gone fishing, fell into the water because he was so friggin fat, and he wasn't paying attention. There he ended up in a magical world called Atlantis, where people lived lives where they could get high as often as they liked. There were many crack dealers around, who lived successful lives due to their customers desire to get high. Atlantis had the highest crack consumption rate of any city in the world. But Ronald was broke, and could not afford to buy crack, so he decided to steal. Unfortunately, he was digested by a shark along the way. He was discouraged by that, and so moved to Iraq. He spent time with the Iraqi pop artist Saddam Hussein. Saddam taught him the arts of the food, an ancient thing that gets you looking like a sumo. Ronald was a quick learner. By his first lesson, he killed his master. He put a possessed dummy in his place. The Bush Presidency was completely fooled, and held the dummies drug deals against it, although the truth was, that George was the seller. Ronald was found by a gangster/emo kid called Elmo. Ronald had a fight with Elmo, but Elmo made Ronald depressed by saying emo phrases in succession. So Ronald, his secret revealed, relocated to Dagobah, where his job was to get people fat.
