Food fight
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Food Fight (not to confound with the band Foo Fighters) was a fight between food in 2004, Glasgow. The fight took place in a small Wal-Mart store at night and the security cameras recorded this heartbreaking fight (hey, that rhymed!).
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[edit] The cause of the fight
Like many other previous wars and fights, this one was also caused by a woman. Well, not by a REAL woman. In this case, it was the incredible, extra crispy chicken wing, Elanor. Many food products were secretly in love with her. Especially Chuck the meatball, who had just realized that he wasn´t a gay at all. He broke up with his boyfriend, Nick the chicken egg.
[edit] Start of the fight
After Nick had committed a suicide by jumping onto the floor, Chuck the meatball sneaked into Elanor´s bedroom (in a plastic bag) and started to make out with her. But Elanor had a husband, Snickers the candy bar, who saw it and got really-really mad. He tragged Chuck out of the plastic bag and punched him onto his face. That pissed off a herd of carrots, who immediately fired the gummy bear army towards Snickers the candy bar. Mars, who was the best friend of Snickers, gathered his own army and declared a war on the gummy bears.
[edit] Food fight!!!
Coca Cola bottles came to defend the gummy bear army. Sadly, they got smashed by watermelons, who obviously smashed themselves by jumping onto their enemies. Vanilla ice cream called chocolate ice cream "a nigga" and got beaten up by a giant pile of nuts, who were strictly against racism.
The fight was ended by Alex the flying pickle, who dropped a nuclear bomb (in this case, a rotten egg, which was Nick's dead ovular structure) onto the floor.
[edit] Losses
The next morning was a quiet, sad day. The fight had demanded its victims, including:
- 10 000 Coca Cola bottles
- 2 watermelons
- Jell-o(the cousin of J.Lo)
- 37 gummy bears
- 200 000 tons of Vanilla ice cream
- your buns
- whiskey
- Garry Fotter the pea-wizard
- Joel Madden the pizza slice
And all the Vodka in the store. However, on the next day all the food products seemed to be kinda...drunk...GAH, who am I to blame those brave survivors of the fight? Shame on me!
[edit] Life after the fight
Elanor the chicken wing divorced from his husband and married with Chuck the meatball. They were eaten on the same day, but hey, at least they died happily! *shudders*
Alex the flying pickle became international hero. 437 books were written about him. Right now, he´s the no.1 "Richest bachelor in Scotland" and is enjoying his life by drinking, disco-dancing, getting all the women he wants, drinking and kitten huffing. Rumors say that Angelina Jolie wants to adopt him.
Will there ever be Food Fight 2? Nobody knows yet. But the losses would be just too harsh. I mean, just think about those poor little starving Scots! WAAAAH *cry*
