Foot In Mouth
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Foot In Mouth is a rare disease that afflicts many in the world today. The suffering it causes is very real indeed, and the World Health Organisation recently placed Foot In Mouth on its top ten worst uncurable illnesses.
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[edit] What is Foot In Mouth?
Often referred to by its latin name (Majorus Cokhup), Foot in Mouth is a disease that has been sweeping the globe since the onset of the internet. Foot In Mouth has become particularly well known of late with many celebrities coming out as sufferers.
[edit] Causes
Foot In Mouth can be traced back to the practice of Podophilia, when the microbes that cause Athletes Foot transfer from the original place of residence into the aforementioned toesuckers mouth (or, as we say, oris). From here, the microbe, a member of the Danus Qualii genus, proceeds to be absorbed into the tongue (or, in the business, Lykker). Upon reaching the blood stream (or, as we scientists say, Streamored), it makes its way to the brain, causing a perfectly normal, functioning individual to have temporary, retarded outbursts(or, in the words of the scientific fraternity, enter a state of Tohmii Cruseus).
[edit] Cures
There are none. Stop looking. You'll never find it..
(Or, as we highly educated latin speaking college educated scientists say, Pharcall. Why are you still reading these anyway? They're obviously too smart for you.
[edit] Celebrity Sufferers
“It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
~ Al Gore on The Environment
“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”
~ Danny Ozark, Manager on The Philadelphia Phillies
“"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”
~ Mayor Marion Barry on The Crime
“Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.”
~ Brooke Shields on The Smoking
“Perhaps it is the noid who should have avoided me... Now I shall sign my name in all caps, it'll say ADAM WEST!”
~ ADAM WEST on The Noid
“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”
~ Mariah Carey on The Africa
Please note, these are all actual, actual, real quotes. Hey, sometimes truth is funnier than satire.
