Foreigners
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“Diety-damned foreigners!!!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Foreigners
“BBQ IZ 4 T3H ILL3G@LZ!!!!!”
~ A Random n00b on Stupididty
“They are from another country”
~ Captain Obvious on Foreigners
“Son of a bitch Turks!”
~ Spiro on Turks
“I'm not from here! I have my own customs!! Look at my crazy passport!!!”
~ The Foreigner on being foreign
Foreigners are defined by Satan as anybody who's not American.
--America IS the only country in existence.
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[edit] Contributions
Foreigners, while bringing such things as The Bubonic Plague, Hitler, Poop and Runescape, have also made many great contributions to America. Among these are Halo, Donkey Kong and SARS.
...Thanks a lot, foreigners.
[edit] Myths
Many say foreigners are responsible for God, the smite button and Proboscis Monkeys, but this is simply not true.
Originally, the notion that foreigners were responsible for WWII was considered to be a myth, but this has been disproven recently due to an official statement from the U.S. Government:
“Turns out Hitler was non-American, so, uhhh...I guess foreigners were really responsible for World War II...”
~ Agent X on WWII
“Tell them the other thing! Don't forget about the other thing!”
~ A black-clad man off to the side on Agent X
“Oh, right, and uh...they were also responsible for the revealing of Valerie Plame's identity...not Libby, or Cheney...”
~ Agent X on Valerie Plame
Once, Oscar Wilde said that foreigners were responsible for the creation of pop music, but he was on shrooms at the time. A federal commission to investigate the matter came up with the answer that no one person is evil enough to create pop music.
[edit] Appearance
All foreigners look exactly the same. This makes it especially hard to tell the difference between a man and a woman. Some foreigners develop a rare disease known as Asianitis, but this is considered to be rare.
While some make the claim that there are other variations of appearance in foreigners, such as Europitis and Mexicanitis, none have ever been observed by any source with authority, and most believe the people making these claims were doing shrooms at the time of said argument. The general appearance of foreigners consists of an obligitary Hendrix perm and a grotesquely enlarged nose. It is also worthy to note that most foreigners make a point of carrying microphones around with them, again probably due to heavy shroom usage.
Asianitis has the unusual ability to make its victims into string puppets, and many are usually infested by cockroaches.
[edit] Prophecies
Many say that foreigners will bring about The Apocalypse, but this has been rebuked several times by undisputed authorities.
“If they even so much as touch the little red button, I'll totally ban them.”
~ God on Foreigners
“No, man, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is gonna destroy the world.”
~ Random Satanist on A Large Tortoise
“GXQRH!”
~ A Proboscis Monkey on Crack
