Forum:*YTTE holds a gun to his head* Goodbye cruel world!

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Forums: Index > BHOP > *YTTE holds a gun to his head* Goodbye cruel world!
Note: This topic has been unedited for 4246 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over. Do not add to unless it really needs a response.
You dash into the Dump topic, startled. A small crowd has gathered. You walk over to them and push your way to the front.

YTTE is standing on the edge of the tall scyscraper, facing the crowd. He holds a shotgun to his head.

YTTE is foaming at the mouth. "Cruel world, here me out! This isn't just a publicity stunt...*cough*...Don't come near me. If you don't here me out and don't take me seriously I'll pull the trigger. I'm serious! Just here me out...!"


This topic contains CMC; if you don't take it seriously, YTTE will blow his brains out.
The CMC, or Cow Moo Cult, is a new, but flourishing online insanical cult of 29 members. So what's all this fuss about? It's about utilising this power for something similar to the Grue Army's job (or UNSOC)...but different. Also this fuss is about increasing the CMC's power/strength/well-knowness.


A COUPLE OF ENTHUSIASTIC USERS to help out the CMC, and to gain ultimate power. Your job description is as follows:
JOB DESCRIPTION: Enthusiastic Users
Applicants will require: decent experience on Uncyclopedia and a hint of awesomeness. Also they should be regular users of Uncyclopedia and willing to help the CMC a lot. They should have a fascination with cows and/or any part of the cow's anatomy.
DUTIES: To accept/reject (deal with) new membership requests to the CMC at the joining place, on a most regular basis. Also they should be willing to help out the CMC, promote it and convert more users to the cow ways. They should be an active CMC member. Also they should help the CMC achieve it's goals (below).
WHAT YOU GET IN RETURN: Ultimate power within the CMC, ultimate gratitude from YTTE, YTTE's brains not blown out, a sense of self-satisfaction, recognition. Also you get a mug of hot tea and a car sticker reading "I joined the CMC and all I got was this sticker".
While there are only limited places for the enthusiastic user thing, the CMC is also looking for more users in general.


Now the important bit: What YTTE believes the CMC can help Uncyclopedia with
YTTE believes that the CMC should attempt to help out in the following ways:
  1. Help mantain, update, format, check and correct the You Have Two Cows project (as long as no one has any objections to this).
  2. To generally help maintain any projects/pages/portals that may need maintenance - the CMC could help clear up the community portal, for example.
  3. To worship cows, generally report on cows for the local newspaper and increase cow references throughout Uncyclopedia.
  4. To convert more people to the cow ways.
  5. To give people extra titles and awards.

There I've said it all. What do current members of the CMC think and what does everyone else think?! Good/bad...your response is welcome...our number is appearing on the screen, now...all calls cost 24p from a BT landline in the British Isles. Mobile phones and other countries may vary.

Seriously though I may blow my brains out...what do you think to all of this?!

- Sir FSt. Yettie (talk) (>>) [14:32 29 June]

LOL Comments

For the LOL comments, as there are bound to be some....

PENIS? --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent OZ! Noobaward.jpg Wotm.jpg Unbooks mousepad.PNG GUN.png 14:42, 29 June 2008 (UTC)

Tightens finger on trigger. Damn you, cruel world! - Sir FSt. Yettie (talk) (>>) [14:56 29 June]
Yay. Now we have an Army, a Communist Party, a Pact of Capitalists, a Legislative Branch (and somewhere else an Executive Branch which I don't know the link to), a Central Bank, a Currency and Bank, a Store and now a nutty religion! All we need is a judicial branch and our free-market democratic state is complete. ~ Tophatsig.png 29/06/2008 @ 15:06
Oh yay...but don't forget the suffragettes/women's rights movement or the emergency services. Now where are all those cows with their clever, cowy suggestions? - Sir FSt. Yettie (talk) (>>) [15:10 29 June]

Don't blow your brains out. Brain stays inside head. I learned that in medical school. Just why I was in medical school, I can't fathom. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 18:15, 29 June 2008 (UTC)

All good and well on this side of the header...all bad and well on the other side of the header. - Sir FSt. Yettie (talk) (>>) [18:17 29 June]
Really? All I read was the forum title. I don't read the pages themselves before commenting. It saves time. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 18:50, 29 June 2008 (UTC)
Hmm...that's why I'm going to Dump this. - Sir FSt. Yettie (talk) (>>) [19:40 29 June]
*Ick* Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:13, 29 June 2008 (UTC)
...PENIS? --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 23:07, 29 June 2008 (UTC)
...Okay, who moved my penis? --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 06:04, 4 July 2008 (UTC)


For the serious stuff....
  • Drink milk. Milk makes bones strong. Strong like Hulk! Hulk smash! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 15:12, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
Milk makes you spotty and impotent, viva la Veganism!--Sycamore (Talk) 15:22, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

Real SERIOUS Stuff

For the real serious stuff...
Does no one have any opinions on what I suggested...I guess I'll just go ahead with it, then. - Sir FSt. Yettie (talk) (>>) [21:39 3 July]

Don't let it die so young!