Forum:Fucking Google Chrome

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It's fast. Damn fast.

Woke up this morning to find that the Google fairy had left it on my desktop and I'm using it now in the name of science. As in love with Firefox as I am, I think I may have to disregard Flava Flav for a second (I usually adhere to his word as gospel when it comes to making decisions) and actually believe dat hype. I have yet to experiment with any customization or add-ons, but so far I'm just digging the speed. But what makes me want to come to Uncyc with this is because I haven't heard of anyone else actually using Chrome.

So I'd like to do a couple things here.

First of all, let's take a browser census. Just put your name under the browser that you use regularly so that I can get a good image of Uncyc as a whole. I think for now I'm gonna identify as a Firefox user, since I only just started using Chrome and who knows, I may switch back after realizing that I can't look up porn with it or something.

Then, I'd like to have a nice heated flamewar about why your browser is better than mine and vice versa. Sir SysRq (talk) 22:22, 1 February 2009 (UTC)

Browser census

Add your name (#{{u|Username}}) below your browser.


Score: +4.5 Windows users who didn't know that other browsers existed
  1. Modusoperandi
  2. SPARTAN-984
  3. Necropaxx (part-time)
  4. Col.swordman
  5. Nachlader Fuck this shit.
  6. Joe9320 (fucking Firefox)


Score: 21 fags/mofos who refuse to use Opera
  1. SysRq
  2. Sonic80
  3. Boomer
  4. Sockpuppet of an unregistered user
  5. TheLedBalloon
  6. Modusoperandi
  7. Mnbvcxz
  8. Uncyclopedian Again
  9. Bradaphraser
  10. Hyperbole
  11. Syndrome
  12. Necropaxx (part-time)
  13. Sawblade5 (While on PC) FU Opera and FU and your mom IE.
  14. RAHB
  15. SunnyChow
  16. Simsilikesims (who also beta tested vs 3)
  17. Kingkitty (cocks)
  18. Something (IE sucks)
  19. Orian57 (Because Sys told me to)
  20. hhgregg (Beta testing 3.1 for mac)
  21. Bonner


Score: 4 Mac tards who only use Safari because Apple made it
  1. Everyones most hated loved Mactard
  3. YesTimeToBeVerySexy
  4. RT - Vista and Safari... *sigh*


Score: 0 1337 nerds who believe Opera users are just better people


Score: 3 corporate tools who are slowly being assimilated by the borg
  1. User:Aaadddaaammm - Yes, how exclusive am I? Been using it for a couple of months exclusively, except for using Firefox to run Zotero, the greatest add-on ever!
  2. Col.swordman - Exclusive? Not anymore, Aaadddaaammm!
  3. Nachlader Peep this shit.


Score: 01 One! A true KMinority! TalK about being uniKue!
  1. Aizmov (Because Firefox is too mainstream)
lol KDE (Bonner) (Talk) Feb 19, 22:43

Flamewar goes here

Fuck IE. Sir SysRq (talk) 22:22, 1 February 2009 (UTC)

^Seconds! Icons-flag-pi.PNG Pirate Lord__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 23:05, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
IE sucks. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 00:20, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
IE serves one good purpose, guys. It allows you to get Firefox. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me! 05:26, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
It also helps you to feel less noobish, by not using it. --S'r Mnbvcxz 17:14, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
Hehe. Sir SysRq (talk) 21:26, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

I'm terribly disappointed. Going by the title, I was expecting something like Driving Miss Daisy or Waking Ned Devine. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:00, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

How can we have a flame war if everyone uses firefox? --S'r Mnbvcxz 05:24, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
I use both. Happy now? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:30, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
Noob :) --S'r Mnbvcxz 05:32, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
Hey, yeah, what if I use both IE and Firefox? Necropaxx (T) {~} 16:54, Feb 2
Then you are stupid, because that implies that you use IE. Sir SysRq (talk) 21:25, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

Sometimes I use the Blackberry Storm's onboard browser. It fucking sucks, but I can read up to two articles an hour even when waiting in interminable lines. talk 19:55, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

Oh yeah, I occasionally use Safari on my iPod Touch. Does that count? - T.L.B. Baloon.gif WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 04:41, Feb 3

Is that while you eat arugula, listen to NPR in your Volvo and contemplate the book on socialism in France that you just finished? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:02, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
Nah, I usually browse the internet while I sit in Starbucks, sipping a latte, stroking my goatee, and listening to jazz fusion. I save the arugula and NPR for afterwards. - T.L.B. Baloon.gif WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 11:41, Feb 3
That's you? /me puts down chai tea, waves from across room Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 14:07, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
/me pops out from behind a MacBook Air and waves to both TLB and Modus. -- The Colonel (talk) 19:12, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
I just saw this and thought you said "stroking my goatse" there for a minute. My mistake. Carry on. Sir SysRq (talk) 22:27, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

There are two things in the world I simply don't get:

  1. Spaghetti fork that runs on battery, and
  2. Firefox.

OK, so some people want to pretend to be oh-so high-class but feel a bit too lazy to roll their loving spaghetti with their own hands? Well, that's fine for me. But now someone wants to build a useless web browser that eats up a lot of memory and crashes whenever it feels like to so that he/she can use it instead of a useless browser that eats up a lot of memory and crashes whenever it feels like to? Are people really that stupid? -- The Colonel (talk) 18:57, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

...You're talking about IE and IE, right? Sir SysRq (talk) 19:38, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
I am talking about IE and Firefox, but since you have asked that question that I am not supposed to answer, I think I actually mean Firefox and Firefox. -- The Colonel (talk) 19:53, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
Well, I am talking about marshmallows and pretzels. Good idea, or great idea? Perhaps chocolate will complete the entire equation of yum. Sir SysRq (talk) 22:07, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
Mmmm... And also, firefox runs a good deal faster than IE for me, and usually does a better job of blocking ads and popups, what with all its fancy add-ons and whatnot. - T.L.B. Baloon.gif WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 22:14, Feb 3
Firefox isn't the only Mozilla-based browser in the Universe, buddy. Ever tried SeaMonkey? It eats less memory, runs just as good as Firefox 2 (that's the very last version of Firefox I used by the way), and it has got an e-mail client and a web page builder for you to play with. Not bad, huh? -- The Colonel (talk) 22:25, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
Fuck IE. Sir SysRq (talk) 22:26, 3 February 2009 (UTC)


Damnit, I thought this was a commentary on HowTo:Fuck Google Chrome. - Rougethebat.gifAdmiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate SonicLivesPicture.png 22:04, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

I'm sick of people treating browsers as objects. At least buy them some flowers every once in a while. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 22:07, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
Browsers never have vases though, so what's the point? - Rougethebat.gifAdmiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate SonicLivesPicture.png 22:21, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
Modus was right, the title of this forum is rather misleading. Sir SysRq (talk) 23:24, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
Wow, SysRq, that's... dirty. Here, take my squeegee. Necropaxx (T) {~} 23:38, Feb 2
...and do what with it? Sir SysRq (talk) 23:49, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
If you want to see SysRq fuck RAHB with a squeegee, PRESS 1! If you want SysRq to put on a bikini and wash a car with the squeegee, PRESS 2!. For English, PRESS 3! To see Enzo make another Sonic reference, PRESS 4! To see SysRq stick the squeegee up his ass, PRESS 5! To quit, PRESS 6! - Rougethebat.gifAdmiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate SonicLivesPicture.png 06:20, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
...can I press all at once? Sir SysRq (talk) 14:17, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
"The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now." Automated phone voice 15:29, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

Fucking Google Chrome? Hardly.

There are a lot of people who have been wounded. Wounded by that title. Many people have admitted that they were disappointed, and even more are too embarrassed to admit it. But this is not just disappointment, this is woundment. People wanted to see some sort of Google Chrome related pornography. Or hear some hilarious anecdote about the time when Sexy Sissy Rqy tried to have sexual intercourse with Google Chrome. Instead, we the Fuck Expecting People, have been forgotten. O People of Uncyclopedia, how could you forsake us like this? But anyway, the bottom line is that I want someone to give me one of the following:

  1. Money.
  2. Blowjob.

In the meantime I believe that the creator of this forum, Sexy Sissy Rqy, should be dragged off in chains, or something equally as hilarious. - [20:10 3 February 2009] YYettie

Fine. Here you go.


Potatochop that into a Goatse thing and have yourself a nice cream. I'll be waiting upstairs with a fresh pair of pants. Sir SysRq (talk) 22:24, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

A roughly accurate table

Based on the last 500 people who visited at the time I happened to check, so probably not actually that accurate.

% Browser Version
36.80% Firefox 3.0
35.80% IE 7.0
8.60% IE 6.0
4.40% Chrome 1.0
3.80% Firefox 2.0
2.40% Opera 9.6
1.80% IE 8.0
1.80% AOL 7.0
1.60% Safari 3.2
0.80% Safari 3.1
0.40% Opera 10.0
0.40% Safari 3.0

Other "interesting" ones that show up occasionally include iTouch, Sony PS3, and Nokia. Spang talk 22:09, 03 Feb 2009

Please note there is nothing called an iTouch, it is in fact an iPod Touch. :P I love a good bit of dickery! - [22:13 3 February 2009] YYettie
At the moment, I may be the only one using Chrome, making me that nice 4% up there. Yey. Sir SysRq (talk) 22:15, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
4% of 500 is a bit more than 1... and iTouch is what shows up on the list of browsers I looked at, might just be a generic name for all iWhatever toys. Spang talk 22:29, 03 Feb 2009
"Only one"? Yeah, right... -- The Colonel (talk) 22:30, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
Yeah. Right. Sir SysRq (talk) 22:39, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

Also, based on the last random 500 people...

% OS
62.60 WinXP
26.40 WinVista
4.80 MacOSX
1.80 unknown
1.80 Linux
1.40 Win2000
0.60 iPhoneOS
0.40 SymbianOS
0.20 Playstation

In case anyone was wondering. Spang talk 22:37, 03 Feb 2009

Which I was. Thank you. Sir SysRq (talk) 22:39, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
WinXP and FF3 FTW.....BBQ.... -RAHB 22:59, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
4% on OS X? You people disgust me. We can do better than that. (Actually, I'm on XP right now. Grozz. At least it's not Vista.) Sir SysRq (talk) 23:06, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
OS X FTW! - [08:45 4 February 2009] YYettie
Judging by how often I log in, there's a pretty good chance I'm one of those 7 or 8 people still using Win2K. talk 00:41, 6 February 2009 (UTC)
I can claim to be nonexistent as I use Konqueror! --Aizmov 14:58, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

My only problem with chrome

See how the toolbox and the spotlight deal both get all pushed down? That bugs me a bit. Firefox won't even show me the spotlight, it's great. - T.L.B. Baloon.gif WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 23:02, Feb 3

My toolbox is right where it should be, thank you very much. The spotlight is pushed way the fuck down, though. Which is good. Sir SysRq (talk) 23:07, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
Oh yeah, that's actually my .js linkbox I stole from Spang. I still maintain that the pushy-downy thing is annoying because it lengthens the page for no reason and creates annoying whitespace. - T.L.B. Baloon.gif WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 00:13, Feb 4


Use Sleipnir and get rid of all your problems.-- 07:39, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

  • All depends of if you have any problems at all.
  • Sleipnir is written in Japanese.
  • You don't understand Japanese.

--Ellllllla 08:59, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

What is Sleipnir? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 16:00, 6 February 2009 (UTC)
fast growing browser. --Ellllllla 19:35, 6 February 2009 (UTC)
Plus it's has giant sword and hair of spikey and unites on adventure! Sleipnir Force powers multiply! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 21:22, 6 February 2009 (UTC)
Does he have a tiny round fluffy friend who speaks in a high voice and follows him, getting into all kinds of trouble while still being adorable with his enormous eyes? Sir SysRq (talk) 23:07, 6 February 2009 (UTC)
Holy fuck, is that an EVE reference? Some idiot who is completely unaware of Norse mythology
I just looked at this browser the other day. It sucks. Thanks for watching. Next up, tennis! Sir SysRq (talk) 20:22, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
I just looked at the previous editor the other day. He sucks. You can watch for 5$. I call next. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us.png CUN20:31, 7 Feb
Boys, boys, boys. Mmm. Boys. =) Sir SysRq (talk) 20:33, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
I just looked at OptyC's sig. It says he sucks. Goodnight. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 23:40, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
This is just begging for a "Sleipnir Experience" thread... -- The Colonel (talk) 01:33, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

"IE = Internet Explorer"?

More like "IE = INTERNET EVOLUTIONISER!" --Nachlader 00:41, 7 February 2009 (UTC)

No, it's Internet Exploder. It explodes the internets. Therefore it is Internet Exploder. Sir SysRq (talk) 02:17, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
No, it's Internet Excellency. It disperses it's Mugabe-like excellency upon the internets. Therefore it is Internet Excellency. --Nachlader 00:37, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
Yes, countless security issues, a speed that cannot compete with any other browser on the internet, and total shit when it comes to add-ons sure makes for one excellent browser. My dad actually had to reconfigure his laptop because of IE. Didn't download any trojans, just had a browser open and a worm slipped through. Yep, everyone just loves IE at my house. Sir SysRq (talk) 01:49, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
Sometimes when I talk, I feel a furret trying to escape from my throat. --Nachlader 20:17, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
Sometimes when you talk, I cram a furret (whatever that is, possibly related to a ferret?) down your throat. Sir SysRq (talk) 14:20, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
Crisis word amalmagation mode. I tried to think of something furry and I thought of a ferret, hence furret. Anyway, I keenly admit IE is poor. In fact, just today at school the computers use IE and I had to see if I could download Firefox within the five minutes that the IE browser decided it's gay and wants to come out of the closet via closing itself down, disabling my research progress. I'll be even more honest though, since the IE browser on my laptop has been the least problematic I've ever come across (not to say it's perfect, it still does some pretty fucked up and sick shit mostly), it can get me across the internets at least, I've never thought about getting any other browser, and if I must, what browser to even DL. I guess I'd be looking at a browser that saves the most frequent visited sites and can categorise my porn links in a helpful way. And doesn't incurr slowdown I guess. What's the best choice? --Nachlader 17:48, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
I like Chrome for its speed, low impact, and porn. I like Firefox for its customization options and ease of use. Both do both, both are great browsers. I haven't made up my mind on which one I like better yet, however when Firefox 3.1 comes out and it has the same (I think it's the same, maybe it's just similar) JS engine as Chrome does and is just as fast, I'm sticking with Firefox fo sho. If I were you, I would download both Firefox and Chrome and try them both. The Fast Dial add-on for Firefox does exactly what you were describing: lets you set up visual bookmarks so that you can see your most visited pages. Google Chrome saves those automatically and shows them to you at startup. So they both do what you need them to do, it's just preference and you just need to try both so you can decide for yourself. Sir SysRq (talk) 19:49, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
While you are at it, give Opera, Safari and Konqueror a try. Konqueror on Windows is alpha quality so don't be expecting much. Opera has speed dial, widgets and can be customized, though not as much as Firefox. Safari is very spartan with a very limited set of features, kinda like Google Chrome, but unlike Chrome, it has an excellent Bookmarks manager/organizer, if you can bare with its out-of-place interface. Konqueror can do everything and then more, it doesn't even need an addon to block ads Aizmov 08:19, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
Can any of them move my house two inches to the right? Note: Going to give Google Chrome a try first, since this seems to be the new kid on the block. Thanks for the advice folks. --Nachlader 15:05, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
Safari and Konqueror on Windows = fail. Opera is okay if you're one of those nerds who likes to lord their nerdiness over other nerds. But for a quiet, low key nerd like myself, Firefox is fine. Sir SysRq (talk) 21:34, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
I only use Netscape Navigator. It's so good that it's got "gator" right there in the name. Also, "ape". Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 22:07, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
Only Google Chrome has stood out so far. I tried Opera, Konquerer and Safari, and despite some nice features, I prefer the simplicity of Google Chrome. The other browsers either had some issues with my Vista (a sucky browser on a sucky OS) or were unnecessarily detailed. Some of the features I've never seen before on a web browser include the spell-checker that'll underline each typo. Funnily enough, Google Chrome's spell-checker doesn't identify 'Google' as a word. I'll try Firefox tomorrow. --Nachlader 22:15, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
Does Netscape even exist anymore? I thought all Netscape browsers exploded simultaneously as a minor effect of 9/11. Sir SysRq (talk) 22:30, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
It still works fine. You just have to set the clock to 1997. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 22:35, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
What OS are you running it on? If you say anything other than "Windows 95" then I'll know you're yankin' my chain. Ah, I miss Windows 95. I still hear that startup noise in my sleep.!!! DEDELINGDINGDINGDING...DING...DINGGGG... Sir SysRq (talk) 22:48, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
OS? Netscape is so good that it runs itself. I don't even have a computer! I shit you not. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:54, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
Tried Firefox. It was much better than Opera et al. but it doesn't reflect on my naivety of the internets: I don't really know enough to care, so the idea of a browser has to be ruthlessly simple for me. Google Chrome hits these notes, with the top bar occupied only by the clinically necessary buttons that suit me fine. It's pretty convenient, that the first time I get out of my IE shell, Google gets out of their shell with a browser of their own. Fucking Google Chrome. --Nachlader 21:55, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
You should try Konqueror for Windows. Don't pay muKh attention to my artiKle. IRL I use Konqueror eKsept when not on KNU/LinuKs. When on Mac or Windows I use Firefox, sometimes Chrome. Bare in mind that Konqueror on Windows is alpha if not pre-alpha Kuality. I personally love how it also functions as a file manager, file viewer and AudioCD-ripper. On a second thought, I'd rather remain uniKue. Don't bother using Konqueror, it's no good. Aizmov 18:12, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
OKay, Aizmov, oKay. -- "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 23:31, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
If you ever used KDE you'd Know where all the Kaptalized Ks are Koming from. Also see: Aizmov 04:49, 16 February 2009 (UTC)
We get it. Thank you for playing. Sir SysRq (talk) 21:03, 16 February 2009 (UTC)
So we're not even going to pretend we're cool, anymore? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 22:24, 16 February 2009 (UTC)
What, after this? Hell no. Lock it down, Modus. Let's go do something else. Sir SysRq (talk) 22:34, 16 February 2009 (UTC)
Nah! I don't thinK you Ket it! (Does this forum have an anti-spam poliKy? Will I Ket in trouble for postinK this spam?)
Back on topic: IE sucks. Nearly everything else is better! The EU, I don't know if you've heard, is considering making Microsoft bundle another browser other than IE, or in addition to! should be interesting! Aizmov 06:39, 17 February 2009 (UTC)
IT WILL BE CALLED BILLGATESZILLANAIRE AND ONLY BILL GATES WILL USE IT -- "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 14:58, 17 February 2009 (UTC)
You're not the boss of me. Or, to put it another way, if these kids weren't being useless here, they'd be out on the street. Being useless. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 15:18, 17 February 2009 (UTC)