Forum:Halloween Scary Stories~~Uncyclopedia Style

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Once upon a time, on Halloween's Eve, there was a man who was pretty average, except...-Almost Sir Random Crap

...except the phone rang and a voice says get ur hands of my daughtr n ur honey is all like my dads ded BUT THEN WHO WAS PHONE??? - T.L.B. Baloon.gif WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 22:50, Oct 14
...PHONE was a pedophiliac murderer with a taste for blood...until his mother said, "You're movin' with your Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air!"-Almost Sir Random Crap
Unfazed by all of the weirdness that he has thus far faced, our unnamed protagonist decides he needs something to eat. When he opens up his stainless steel refrigertor, he was shocked to find...--You know what the music means... Our time is up. 23:54, October 14, 2009 (UTC)
...pickles... -- [sire] EMC [TALK] 00:26 Oct 15 2009
...but then liek he saw somethings cools in the corners and couldn't believe his eyes, it was a monkey omg...omg monkey... -Bretthead.png a completely unexpected, un-cliche'd turn of events, he spanks the monkey... Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 01:37, October 15, 2009 (UTC)
...wait, he just killed someone? What a douchebag. Fuck him, he should go to jail, I'm calling the cops... Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 01:48, October 15, 2009 (UTC)
...but then, suddenly, out of nowhere, with climactic music playing, an axe springs from PHONE who is also the phone... -- [sire] EMC [TALK] 01:50 Oct 15 2009
The man tries dodge the axe but his left arm is cut off, blood and yucky goo are all over the place... FreddIs Great In Bedd 16:20, October 15, 2009 (UTC)
Of course, after all of this time, he had still eaten nothing, and was still hungry. He decided to go to the Corinth Diner down the street, still bleeding from the bloody stump that once was his left arm. After ordering a French Dip with curly fries and a Sunkist, he...--You know what the music means... Our time is up. 19:05, October 15, 2009 (UTC)
enjoyed a nice scotch and retired early. After all, tomorrow is a big day! -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us.png CUN19:10, 15 Oct
As he fell asleep, belly full of a delicious sandwich, he began to dream...--You know what the music means... Our time is up. 19:19, October 15, 2009 (UTC)
...that he was in an Aaron Carter music video... -- [sire] EMC [TALK] 19:37 Oct 15 2009
...but of course that was just a dream. In truth he had a peaceful night's sleep and woke up in the morning feeling refreshed and well rested. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us.png CUN19:56, 15 Oct
...when he was up, refreshed, and bathed, he looked back into his shower stall and wondered... Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 20:28, October 15, 2009 (UTC)
..."How did I just take a bath in a shower stall?" Pondering about this, he...--You know what the music means... Our time is up. 20:30, October 15, 2009 (UTC)
...put on his earphones, and set his iPod to shuffle, playing "Willie the Pimp" by Frank Zappa. He promptly grabbed his Guy Fawkes mask, and walked to... Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 20:33, October 15, 2009 (UTC)
an alcoholics anonymous meeting, where he... --Docile hippopotamus 21:13, October 15, 2009 (UTC)
remembered that his left arm is missing. One of the guys said... please sign your posts with 4 tildes, please! After doing so, he... Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 21:33, October 15, 2009 (UTC)
...remembered he was born with only one arm. He felt a flood of relief as he realized that the events of the previous night were only a half forgotten dream. He smiled as he enjoyed the pleasant morning weather and took a sip of his coffee. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us.png CUN21:40, 15 Oct
then some mother fucker broke into the meeting and chopped off our guy's right arm with an axe. Then the motherfucker said... FreddIs Great In Bedd 21:52, October 15, 2009 (UTC)
...May I have a sip of your tasty beverage?... Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 21:55, October 15, 2009 (UTC)
our guy was all like "no way!" so the motherfucker gave him a hard knock on the head. Our guy blacked out. after a few hours he woke up to find himself... FreddIs Great In Bedd 22:03, October 15, 2009 (UTC)
...wondering what's funny about violence and profanity? -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us.png CUN22:39, 15 Oct
Then suddenly, Charlie Chaplin jumped out of the blackness with a cream-pie... Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 22:50, October 15, 2009 (UTC)
...and started to eat it. Our protagonist, who at the time was getting fitted for a new prosthetic limb, accepted Chaplin's offer of a slice. The pie was good, but nothing special. Thanking Mr. Chaplin, our hero...--You know what the music means... Our time is up. 22:57, October 15, 2009 (UTC)
...wiped the corners of his mouth with a napkin and pondered his decision to buy heavily into Saturn stock. He decided he had done the right thing, reasoning that they were bound to bounce back any day now. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us.png CUN23:13, 15 Oct
Unfortunately for our poor protagonist, the stock did not bounce back. As he sat in his room sobbing, his life savings vanishing before his eyes...--You know what the music means... Our time is up. 19:10, October 16, 2009 (UTC)
... the ghost of his great-granny appeared... Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 23:43,16October,2009 be floating in front of him. But of course it was just a blur caused by his tear filled eyes. "Ghosts don't really exist" he thought to himself. "And why did I put ALL of my money into one stock without doing any research? I must be the dumbest motherfucker to ever live". -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us.png CUN23:52, 16 Oct
It was all a dream however. Nothing else interesting happened... - Bretthead.png
O RLY? <insert name here> <(^_^<)Meh.Meh. Meh. or something like that 03:10, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
...Until PHONE woke up only to have the greek god Zeus aiming his bolt at PHONE's forehead. He tried to yell for his mom...-Almost Sir Random Crap
...but his mom was laying in a bed in the clouds, begging Zeus to come back for Round 2... Don Puttano cHeDDs User talk:CheddarBBQ 17:11,17October,2009