Forum:Screw This: My Last Notes

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Well, here it is in a nutshell. I'm done with Uncyclopedia, for good. Many of you barely know me, and therefore, this letter will have little to no effect on you. But it's been over a year since the first time I ever came on Uncyclopedia, and I've seen the many good and bad sides of this site in those 12 months. And, well, here's your little anecdote for the day:

The first time I saw this site, I thought it was a shithole. I thought it was just some place where anybody could write whatever crap they wanted, and nobody really cared either way. Then, after a few weeks of learning the ways of the site and gaining an understanding of what went on here, I made my first account. And my views changed. I found out that this was, in fact, one of the funniest sites that has ever been and ever will be. But that was back when I only saw the surface of this place, when I never actually knew any of the people behind it. Then, months later, I created this account. This account was the first active part I've taken in Uncyclopedia. And, of course, this was my first time in the forums. I learned all about the people who make this place tick, give it life, and make it what it is. And, with this new knowledge, I reverted back to my original beliefs: This place is a shithole. The Uncyclopedia community is getting more screwed over by the day, and nobody seems to be doing anything to fix it.

With that note, I'd like to take some time to go over the issues I've found. First off, I'm going to bring up the Admin subject. I realize this has been done time and time again, but it is still a major issue. The admins have too much power. They can do whatever they want, and, hell, they don't even have to consult anyone first. What we need is a working counsel. Admins need to consult with other people before they make major decisions, such as the figurative "Ban-Hammer". I realize, to you, banning someone is just as simple as pressing a button and forgetting about it. And if you ban someone who just made an account a day ago and is vandalizing every page they see, then I completely agree with your decision. But banning someone who has been a longtime member of the site is not something to be toyed around with. To the person who is banned, you're taking away something they hold dear, a "part" of them, if you will. This is why such matters need to be discussed before action is taken, so that a solution that everyone agrees with can come into being.


Second off is the subject of dealing with troublemakers. And not in the "You're banned" way. In the "Warning" way. I see it all the time in the forums. If someone is doing something wrong, like inadvertently whoring their articles or posting too many forums, you leave them a message on their talk page. You don't chew them out in front of the entire community. That's called "public humiliation", and it never solves anything. If you're telling someone they screwed up in front of an entire group of people, think about how they will feel. Reading your comment, they won't be thinking, "Oh, I guess I'd better fix this problem, then", they'll be thinking, "That asshole! Everyone's going to think I'm a loser now!". That doesn't solve any problem, does it?

Third off is going to be a controversial subject, and I'll probably get a load of crap from the shit-cannon about it. Insults. I see it so much. Someone makes a mistake, and you automatically file it under "Being a dick", and you insult them. "Noob", "Idiot", "Dumbass", take your pick. And before this goes any further, just let me get across: I am not excusing myself from being guilty of any and all of this behavior. I simply wanted to alert you all to this issue, so that you could do with it what you will. But regardless of who you insult: a longtime member, a new guy just starting out and learning the ropes, or an IP trying to create a new article, they are all real people. Somewhere out there, somebody is getting hurt from your insults. I hear all the time, "IP's are not real people". They ARE real people. And they have REAL feelings. That you HURT. So, it's your choice what to do now. You can ease up on the constant insults, or you can just be another shit-slinging monkey. Your choice.

Finally, there are a couple of people I'd like to thank. Three people who made my time here enjoyable. First, I'd like to thank Alien Hunter. Many of you regular forum-users may remember him as the "Sexy Admins IP". I know, he was an ass then. But he was just a new guy, learning what the site was all about. And, hell, I admit, I was one of the most awful people to him. But then I actually took some time to get to know him, and you know what? He's a pretty cool guy. All he wants is to make some friends on here, just like we all do. Kudos to him. Second, I'd like to thank TheLedBalloon. He is, in all honesty, the coolest admin on this site, and the only one I don't have a problem with. He always had a way of making everything cool and fun. And if he had a problem with something you were doing, he would come and talk to you privately. And it wouldn't be like he was yelling at you, either. It was like he was just sitting there comfortably with you, just telling you how to be a better contributer to the site, with a smile on his face. Kudos to him. Finally, I'd like to thank YTTE. Pretty much the only established member here who actually took the time to be a nice and friendly guy. He'll be your friend no matter how stupid and annoying you are. Kudos to him.

Well, that's it. My resignation letter. My final goodbyes. Feel free to write whatever crap about me you want to in this forum. I'm not coming back, so I won't be reading it anyway.

As a last note, I just want to say, You're Screwed was the best article I have ever written, hands down. Please, please take care of it. Don't let it end up in ICU or VFD.


* Flumpa [17:47] Jun 4, 2008

Yet another reason to leave Uncyclopedia

  1. The way that IP's are treated, the way they ban people and the way they abuse people. --User:Qua/sig 17:51, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
  2. The lack of free pizza delivered to my door. Also no icecream. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
  3. Long tl;dr style forum topics about people leaving (Bonner) (Talk) Jun 4, 18:00
  4. Unworkable stolen Famine sig "and I thought I was doing so well..."--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 18:02, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
  5. The fact that no matter how many times I try, this will never get featured. Neither will this!But I haven't tried with that... I'm just assuming it won't. --Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 18:04, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
  6. People who compete with AE's ultimate example of how to leave Uncyc. Seriously check out his talk page and leaving message. No fucking around from him at all, no long boring message posted in a forum claiming he would not read it, and he actually left. Unlike Flumpa who will probably be back again with another new user ID in a few weeks. For the record (and this is obviously just my personal view) AE left largely because he was not being given the protection he needed when he was being bullied. More rigorously defined admin controls would (also in my view) make dealing with such bullies and cyber assholes much more difficult. The fact that we have some admins who sometimes operate in a more italic manor than some of the others is a good thing. If all the admins were made to act in the same way, we would become more like the troll paradise which is Wikipedia. Currently, if an admin shows poor judgement, it's easy for any other the others to have a quiet word with them to resolve the situation. If we formalise a set of rules, that just makes life easier for the trolls. In addition, Mhaille, we do actually have rather a large reserve of icecream, but we are not telling you where it is after last time. MrN Icons-flag-gb.png 19:32, Jun 4
  7. --> --Aljolson.jpg Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER Aljolson.jpg 19:46, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

In a feeble attempt to be on topic

Attempts to have rules for admins have been defeated in the past. While I understand the thought that too much regulation will lead to wikilawyering, having some rules to go by would be better than having admins use only their grouchiness to make decisions with. In the future, I'd like to be banned a little less arbitrarily, and in my time here I've never seen a single warning issued to a user, unless you count {{Oh Dear}} as a warning. It's always shoot first and ask questions later with some folk. Whatever that means. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 18:25, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

Are we allowed to mention the non-existant cabal here? But seriously, I don't know how a council would work out on Uncyclopedia. --User:Qua/sig 18:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
I say allow a certain few users who will never be admins have the power to judge if an admin is abusing his/her power, and then, if so, that admin would have his/her power stripped. No? Come on... It would work!!! --Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 19:19, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

Hey, thanks for the nice words, Flumpa, I really do appreciate it. Still, though, I don't think more rules or regulations are necessary at all. I don't wanna be like wikipedia substing a chummy little pre-rendered warning in a cute, pastel-colored template box on the talk page of some prick who has been going on a mass blanking spree. And honestly, I trust the judgment of all our ops, to a point. And, in the fairly rare(but by no means nonexistent) occurrences when one of does make a mistake, just come on IRC, and you can be unbanned just like that. You know, like that. That, right over there. You know what I mean. Anyways, that(different that) is the beauty of a wiki--nothing is permanent. Good luck with whatever you do, but keep in mind you can always come back if you feel like it. Cheers!

PS: IPs aren't people; they're all asshat bots! ;) - Don Leddy the Crunch Fedora.JPG (Nyah, see, nyah!) 19:28, Jun 4

Good dammit Led! I started typing mine before yours, how come it looks like you posted it first! Grr. MrN Icons-flag-gb.png 19:34, Jun 4
God bless you for quoting one of my quotes, Led. You always know how to make a guy feel special by accident.--<<>> 23:06, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
<3 Brad - Don Leddy the Crunch Fedora.JPG (Nyah, see, nyah!) 23:15, Jun 4

Hey guys, some user is leaving. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 19:54 Jun 4

Hey guys, some user should come back. Spang talk 20:19, 04 Jun 2008
I miss that unknown guy. --Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 20:28, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

At least the "Worst forum topics ever" category has more that one topic now. --Aljolson.jpg Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER Aljolson.jpg 20:04, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

Well, that's too bad. Always a sad thing to see a user call it quits. Nothing, however, is perfect. (Except for Modus's lovely little...well, what can be said about that?) But every forum-de-citoyen is badly flawed. Unpleasant drama and semi-abusive personalities abound. However, the forum-de-citoyen is still the best thing the Internet offers. (Excepting nude pictures of Stephen Hawking, of course.) Admins should not play clique games, certainly. Users should not be assholes to other users. It's all quite simple really. But we all know the flaws of online communities -- they are the flaws of human beans. Usually the worst are the mung beans. So it goes. ----OEJ 00:48, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

*blush* Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:03, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

I hope that you didn't take my jabbing the wrong way. Uncyclopedia is about the pages, not the forums (and certainly not too many forum topic in too short a time). Forums are a nice aside, but they aren't the meat in the wiki sandwich, IMO. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 02:57, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

But it's the non-articles - Pee Review, VFH, the Dump, etc. - that help us navigate to the good articles. Anyone trying to read Uncyclopedia by spamming Special:Random will quickly conclude that this place fucking sucks. --Hyperbole 06:46, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
I was only talking about the forums. Flumpa was a forum topic creator par excellence. And Special:Random will consistently hit mediocrity. It's a wiki. One that anyone can edit. The best we can do is VFD/QFVD the worst (hopefully), improve the remainder (hopefully), and raise the bar with our own stuff (hopefully). Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 07:05, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Let me be Frank

  • In Frank Castles "Punisher" costume*

Since Uncyclopedia articles can have little to no informational value (IE, articles that may espouse the taste of acetone), its more difficult to try to regulate. Since humor is subjective, and bad humor badly subjective, a lot of whats put up on this site is often just terrible in my view. Whether or not it IS terrible to everyone would make the deletion of offending articles that much more difficult. Lets face it, this is a niche site about bullshite,general satire and humor, without any leeway, the site would be flooded with absolutely all the crap from encyclopedia dramatica (lest we forget that fateful day...). Ill be honest, I have given out bans that lasted too long. But think of it this way, people who post absolute shite vandalism are probably never going to come back to this site anyway.

  • takes off costume to reveal Spider-man underoos* Take my comment as you will. And yes, I spelled it that way on purpose --Nytrospawn 01:00, 5 June 2008 (UTC)


You were a great contributer, particularly to UnProvise, sorry if I was in any way responsible for you leaving and I enjoyed your work (particularly that great grue pic). I hate it when people leave because I feel somewhat responsible. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent OZ! Noobaward.jpg Wotm.jpg Unbooks mousepad.PNG GUN.png 11:27, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Let me be Francis

Overall I disagree with most of what Flumpa said, mainly because he had the urge to call Uncyclopedia a "shit hole". This one took away my will to read any further. A couple of pointers though:

  • The biggest issue I do see here is the fact that sometimes new users ask serious questions in the dump and get a flood of people throwing kittens, cabbage and stale beer doesn't help them. They don't know us yet, they don't know that this is a standard vote, perhaps we should tone that a little bit.
  • I don't think we need anymore rules. I just came back from a little tour in the Hebrew Uncyclopedia, a site which is dominated by a paranoid admin who set such a rigorous set of rules over there, it became a wiki-hell, they can't take a piss without voting on it for a week. We need to work as we do now, and trust the judgment and the common sense of people around here.
  • Admins are human beings, except for Zombiebarond, I'm pretty sure he's not. We're bound to make mistakes. However, were Flumpa (or any other user) raise a complaint to any admin, I think that nine out of ten cases he will get what he is after.
  • Other than that, as with most of these posts, I think Flumpa generalized quite a bit, as is normal with these posts.

Carry on, the cabal does not exist. ~ 11:46, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Maybe if we had a "playpen" forum for the n00bs to ask questions in?--<<>> 12:21, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
Sounds good to me! ~ 12:22, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
at Francis* Spang talk 14:14, 05 Jun 2008

Wo, wo wo! What the fuck?!?!?!

First I miss Cajek getting banned and now this. I'm so sorry you're leaving Flumpa, you did some awesome stuff at UnProvise, where generally nice, wrote some great stuff and where a really great user! Thanks for mentioning me, I appreciate it. I sympathise with what you're saying about insulting and being mean to newer users. I think a "Be Nice To Newbies" would be a good policy to adopt, even if they're making a lot of mistakes. Also I don't think Flumpa realises how much the admins have to deal with and just how many users need to be banned. Maybe if a regular user gets banned then there should be more of discussion/debate about. Meh, what do I know? Mainly, though...

You were awesome, Flumpa, despite what some people said. Bye bye!

Mega meh. - [17:23 5 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Wait a minute, is Cajek actually blocked? That is a joke, right? --Hyperbole 17:28, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
I have no idea, but he is blocked, for a month. Check out his userpage. - [17:32 5 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

You know, everytime I hear someone complain about how we treat our nOObs I have to wonder what site they're talking about. Sure, nOOb questions are usually given smart ass answers, but this is a humor wiki. If you can't deal with some joking around you probably shouldn't be here in the first place. And I think that eventually somebody always breaks down and gives the nOOb an honest answer. My nOOb experience here was one of the friendliest on any site I've been on. So, in conclusion, pie! -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us.png CUN19:24, 5 Jun

Let me be Francisco.

Allow me to give a non-sarcastic response to this. Obviously I'll be doing nothing more than restating what Mordillo and others have already said. But here I go anyways at the risk of getting tl;dr'd.

Uncyclopedia has plenty of rules. We're not as bad as Wikipedia about rules. But we're not an anarchy, either. We have structure without extensive bureaucracy. Quite frankly, I like this wiki. I'm happy with the way things are going around here, for the most part. The people are nice to me, they read my articles, and then they write something and I read it. We all have a good laugh and move on to the next round of articles. To me, this is just about making each other into better writers. I love writing. I love humor writing. That's why I'm here.

What I don't like is stupid crap from whiners. I don't like hearing people talk about how Uncyc has never been worse and that we're turning noobs away and that we feature stupid articles and how VFD needs more voters and that they hate the admins and that everyone's getting banned for no reason. That makes me feel dumb, because I like this wiki and I have a good time here. I guess I just can't see a problem. I show up, I write, I talk to my friends, I do what I want without causing trouble, and I have fun doing it. That's my Uncyc day. There's nothing complicated about it because it doesn't need to be complicated.

But alas, we're going to have drama queens like Flumpa who want to make a huge point by yelling "FUCK UNCYCLOPEDIA!" and quitting the site. I'm not gonna say that I'll miss him. I'm not gonna beg him to come back. I'm not even really sure why I posted on this forum, or even read it in the first place. I don't care. I have an article I'm working on right now that I should be writing. I have work in thirty minutes, and yet instead of doing what I want, (writing articles) I'm here ranting. Why? And that's not a rhetorical question, please, tell me why.

Back to my point: certain users are gonna want to stir the pot with bold statements and dramatic exits. Such is life. What's important is that we remember what a great wiki we have. Sure, it's got some issues. Admins are, as a rule, somewhat trigger happy. Cajek is currently banned for a month, a decision I will take even more time out of my day to fight wholeheartedly. Noobs and IPs are treated with a certain prejudice. The rule of Good Faith should be observed more often on this wiki; it would make for a better community. I myself have been guilty of unnecessarily treating noobs cruelly and sarcastically. But these problems can be solved. For the most part, conversations with admins tend to end well. While we (regular users) don't always get what we want, there's always at least some form of understanding as long as both parties have understanding as a goal. Admins and users alike need to work on their tempers.

I guess my underlying point (for those of you who tl;dr'd this whole thing) would be that there's not much that needs fixing about Uncyc right now. I write articles, read articles, and I'm happy. Flumpa, shut the fuck up. Go color or something. You could have been a great user, but your rash comments and juvenile method of leaving Uncyc have caused me to lose all respect for you. I have no respect for anyone who leaves this place in anger or frustration and makes a final rant about how much this place sucks, because it shows that they still care what we (the community) think about them. The truth is, we don't care. You'll come back in a year after thinking about how much you missed us and you'll make a forum topic saying "HI GIZE IM BACK" and we won't know who you are. Get over yourself. We've got articles to write.

~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 20:41 Jun 5

Wow Sys, that's Let me be the first to say: tl;dr. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us.png CUN21:50, 5 Jun

This entire thread

tl;dr --User:Qua/sig 21:51, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Let me be Francesca, then.

Just 'cuz.   Sir Tooltroll, Esq. CUN  Eh?  Oh!  UnTunes! Cannabagreen.jpgI Card-clubs-up.gif my cat! 22:18, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

No. You can be a furry. That way, you won't have to change. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:00, 5 June 2008 (UTC)


Much respect to him. The man speaks truths. -- Hindleyite Converse?pedia 11:15, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

At least he doesn't think that both me and my userpage should die. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 11:18, 6 June 2008 (UTC)