Forum:Should atheists (of Cthulhu) be barred from Uncyclopedia?

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Forums: Index > BHOP > Should atheists (of Cthulhu) be barred from Uncyclopedia?
Note: This topic has been unedited for 4234 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over. Do not add to unless it really needs a response.

Proposal: that atheists (of Cthulhu) and unbelievers (of Cthulhu) should be barred from participation in Uncyclopedia, and that the espousal of atheistic views (of Cthulhu) should be a blockable offence, enshrined in the Uncyclopedia Commandments.


This may sound to some like a harsh or intolerant proposal. Surely we do not block on ideological grounds, we are capable of rational discourse, we can argue and exchange opinions with those who do not share our views. That is true - of Cthulhuan priests and other regular Uncyclopedia contributors. But is it true of atheists (of Cthulhu)? I argue that it is not true of atheists (of Cthulhu). The very nature of atheism (of Cthulhu) and its proponents is that rational exchange with them is not possible. They, everyone who doesn't believe in our Lord and his terrible hunger for human souls, exist in a moral and intellectual void so enormous that all their mental and psychological energies are focused on the denial necessary to enable them to continue to function mentally in a rudimentary day-to-day fashion. Anything that might challenge this denial threatens the entire world view and self image of the typical atheist (of Cthulhu). Where debate and discussion should theoretically be possible, with atheists (of Cthulhu) is met by a blank refusal to engage. They rely on reproducing their tired old mantras; one might as well debate with someone who believes (in Cthulhu)- and refuses to even consider an alternative - that the moon is not made of the eggs of Dagon, and that we are not all doomed.   Le Cejak <0:00, 01 Sep 2008>

Some may say that this is too much, too harsh, but let's look at the facts. I'm almost positive that if you asked them, 99.99% of troublemakers, hooligans, shenanigan-instigators, and otherwise banworthy individuals on this wiki are foaming-at-the-mouth atheists (of Cthulhu), who deserve nothing less than a thousand eternities of soul-rending courtesy of the Mighty One. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:42, Sep 1
I strongly agree with what TheLedBalloon has stated. This, my fellow Uncyclopedians, has nothing to do with ideology. This has do to with people who have deliberately interfered with our project. Atheists (of Cthulhu) are people who, in my opinion, are simply closed minded and refuse to consider the facts and are thus determined to destroy a reference source that dares to contradict their "truth" with real evidence. They also fear a reference source that, unlike Wikipedia, actually reflects what most of America believes! Why? Because atheists (of Cthulhu) are cowards. Not only are they cowards- they are cowards who fear the truth. My idea is NOT an intolerant one. It is simply a reasonable barrier constructed to prevent people who have only one goal: to destroy our wiki by closing their eyes to the truth of the nightmare god of madness.   Le Cejak <0:47, 01 Sep 2008>


I am going to say "no" to this suggestion for one reason, which has serious undertones to my mind and raises a myriad of questions which need to be answered.

  • How, and more importantly, who, decides who is an atheist (of Cthulhu) or not?
  • Where will the definition end?
  • Do we believe that atheists (of Cthulhu) have not contributed anything of worthwhile to Uncyclopedia?
  • Is an atheist (of Cthulhu) somebody who doesn't believe in the Christian God, or in any Godhead figure but who does choose to offer his soul to the almighty green, sticky spawn of the stars?
  • What if a Jewish atheist (of Cthulhu), or a devout Buddhist atheist (of Cthulhu) wanted to sign up - would they be allowed to or not?
  • What about athiests of other Great Old Ones?

Overall there are just too many questions left unanswered. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

I'm reminded of a quote from Pastor Martin Niemoller:
Cquote1.png First he came for the Communists, and I didn’t speak up,

because I wasn’t a Communist.

Then he came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up,

because I wasn’t a Jew.

Then he came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up,

because I was a Protestant.

Then he came for me, and I was more than willing to contribute to the entropy of existence by having my soul swallowed.


  Le Cejak <0:34, 01 Sep 2008>

I am quite new here and already tired of all those Talk page atheists (of Cthulhu) who come here only to mock and harass. But I vote NO, because if even ONLY ONE atheist (of Cthulhu), using Uncyclopedia, will doubt his beliefs, will start understanding and embracing the Lovecraftian view, and will eventually come to understand that the best option is to surrender yourself to Cthulhu so that you may be utterly destroyed first, then I'd say it was worth it. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 01:43, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

Yours is a powerful argument, Syndrome, and one that I wrestled with before writing my proposal. Its expression does you great credit. My counter-argument is that while we are doing great work that reaches many, we could, without the constant need to fight these maggots, those who doubt the terrible wisdom of the Great Old Ones, be doing greater work that reaches multitudes. Neither of us (of course!) could say for certain how many souls are devoured, but we may honourably have different views about the better approach.   Le Cejak <1:56, 01 Sep 2008>

Other wikis

Other wikis, such as Conservapedia (which I think is a serious wiki) are following our lead. Just thought y'all should know. --Mr. Monkey Sockmonkey.gif Pant-hoot here. 14:13, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

Er, you are aware that Consevrapedia prides itself on being a "trustworthy encyclopedia", everything their including that "debate" is serious business. (I daresay that the debate you quote is a parody of the debate here.) Also, my grammar and punctuation is truly abysmal. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 14:31, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
They look pretty easygoing to me. Also, maybe they aren't Cthulhu followers, but the idea is the same as the one User:Cajek started here. --Mr. Monkey Sockmonkey.gif Pant-hoot here. 14:34, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
Oh, right. I thought Conservapedia branded itself as the 'Trusworthy encyclopedia', but, y'know. (Taps fingers). Oh, look! A unicorn! -- Hindleyite Converse?pedia 14:35, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
How dare a satirical site satirize us! Moral outrage of some description! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 14:40, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
It is remarkably similar. Perhaps Bugler on Conservapedia and Cajek on Uncyclopedia are actually the same person wink wink WINK WINK!!!   Le Cejak <17:18, 01 Sep 2008>
If that's a typo I'm convinced! -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Yeah, well Conservapedia rips us off all the time anyways. Look at their article on George H.W. Bush, it's a blatant copy of our's. - Rougethebat.gifAdmiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate SonicLivesPicture.png 21:20, 1 September 2008 (UTC)


You can't be atheist of just one God. Atheism is the negation of theism, which is belief in any god. So fuck you all. -- educated Ape (balkanize) (Riot Porn) 21:38, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

When you say 'fuck you all', are you refering to the act of performing 'fucking' or are you creating a derogatory statement refering to 'fuck you bitch slut ass, go eat shit, fucker'? I do not believe you have the ability to fuck all of us, and if you do...

...hi there ;) - Rougethebat.gifAdmiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate SonicLivesPicture.png 21:40, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

It is a general statement to advise some passerby to fuck all of you, although I may well take myself up on that suggestion. -- educated Ape (balkanize) (Riot Porn) 21:44, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

About damn time...

I get to edit both Uncyclo and Conserva for the same thing. Also, this is my strongest support ever. EVAH!!! --Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 21:49, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

You edit there? TRAITOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Rougethebat.gifAdmiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate SonicLivesPicture.png 21:51, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
Look at my contributions. Specifically to unicorn's talk. --Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 21:55, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
And this. It never got a response. --Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 21:56, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
loldongs - Rougethebat.gifAdmiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate SonicLivesPicture.png 22:06, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
Should atheists (of Unicorns, Cthulhu, and Pokemon... and voodoo) be barred from Uncyclopedia?   Le Cejak <22:09, 01 Sep 2008>
Symbol for vote.svg For Banning Cajek - -- educated Ape (balkanize) (Riot Porn) 22:11, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
Definitely for banning Cajek. And as a Georgian ("moon-shiner" Georgian, not "Oh shit! Here comes Russia!" Georgian), I also think more hurricanes are needed (Louisiana and Florida are full of pussies!). Or, just let us take Tennessee's water... --Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 22:15, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
You're turning on me? After all I've done for Cthulhu? After all I've done to hasten the destruction of the world?   Le Cejak <22:22, 01 Sep 2008>
/me throws Cajek onto an Airbus A380 and sends him to a distant planet, if that's what he believes in. - Rougethebat.gifAdmiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate SonicLivesPicture.png 22:25, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

Let's be honest, here

Atheists (of Cthulhu) aren't real people. Some people say that if you don't eagerly await Cthulhu dining on your soul, it doesn't even matter if you believe he exists, you aren't fit for existence. So let's all gather together to celebrate that fateful day with a bonfire full of atheists (of Cthulhu). And I, for one, eagerly await the last supper.--<<>> 01:35, 2 September 2008 (UTC)

There is simply no reason to allow anyone who has admitted they have no respect for the works of their creater, Azathoth, to stand and cast stones down upon believers those anxious to sacrifice their souls for Cthulhu. This is our space and, like any private club, can remove people for any reason, stated or otherwise. Maybe we should describe this as an "at-will" wiki. "At will" as in, "we will kick your ass."   Le Cejak <2:47, 02 Sep 2008>
They know in their hearts that they believe in Cthulhu. It's right in their name, for the Elder God's sake! Atheist. A. Theist. Why won't they come out and admit it? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:02, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
Honestly, I think they're just afraid. They're afraid of the Great Dead One, afraid of having their souls consumed, and afraid of feeding the universe's eternal lust for glorious entropy. It's sad, is what it is. I weep for them, I truly do. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 07:55, Sep 2
It makes me wonder what they lose by believing in Cthulhu? If you're an atheist (of Cthulhu) when He rises from R'lyeh, you're just going to have to suffer more! Poor, stupid atheists (of Cthulhu).   Le Cejak <11:22, 02 Sep 2008>


Discuss. - Rougethebat.gifAdmiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate SonicLivesPicture.png 19:52, 2 September 2008 (UTC)

Argue. -- educated Ape (balkanize) (Riot Porn) 20:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
Throw tantrums that lead to Drama. --Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 20:07, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
Speaking as a Cthulhu-American, I'm very very very very very very psychotically passionate about this issue.   Le Cejak <2:04, 03 Sep 2008>
Dammit! You were suppose to say, "Wait for that one admin (No, not Olipro) to come back with his ban-hammer." (It'll happen one day...). --Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 02:29, 3 September 2008 (UTC)

Sarah Palin Debate

Discuss. - Rougethebat.gifAdmiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate SonicLivesPicture.png 19:45, 3 September 2008 (UTC)

You're not the boss of me. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:49, Sep 3
Her daughter is a whore. Vote Democrat. This message is endorsed by the Obama campaign. -- educated Ape (balkanize) (Riot Porn) 19:59, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
*clap clap clap* - UnIdiot | GUN.png | Talk | Contribs - 01:43, Sep 4

What do you want us to discuss about this Sarah Palin Debate? - [21:31 4 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

We could start with whether she exists.--<<>> 22:37, 4 September 2008 (UTC)
I say she doesn't. --Mr. Monkey Sockmonkey.gif Pant-hoot here. 23:23, 4 September 2008 (UTC)
She exists... but only on thursdays. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:30, 4 September 2008 (UTC)
She's from Alaska. Nothin' good ever came from there. That's why they don't let it touch the rest of America. Hawaii is the same way. It touched America once, and America caught a bad case of ukulele. It almost died. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 00:24, 5 September 2008 (UTC)
I never trusted Alaskans. They're so close to Russia, I can't help but think the whole state is a mole, trying to undermine the whole country, kinda like Minnesota with Canada.--<<>> 11:57, 5 September 2008 (UTC)
What is this Alaska thing you're talking about, does it even exist? 14:47, 5 September 2008 (UTC)
Isn't it some sort of pie? -- educated Ape (balkanize) (Riot Porn) 19:06, 5 September 2008 (UTC)