Forum:Some of you wanted me to be constructive

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If you people react favourably to this one, you're all redeemed on your voting ways forever, boy scout rapist's promise. I'll also come back if this catches.

This is an old idea of mine, all of you who like to collaborate. Read this and think. This would result in many a series of logically interconnected articles for some good effect. Mind you, the wood/rubber thing is just an example. Sorry but this forum is disorganised again. I started it 1AM or so.

Teh Office of Absolute Truth or Whatnot

I just now added this klink to it. You're all welcome to invent a better name for the office, as well as help with anything on it. Idea is: we will first build enough of it, and then start pointing to people which articles they could write. I figure there would always be something open, with a specific aim. My idea is to make it into a tool to improve articles: I like to write with an aim, myself, and imagine there are many others who like that too. It gives more reason for exaggeration, which is a great source of humour. Also other humorous vehicles will be found.

If you know how spinners work ("news", " spontaneous demonstrations", "experts") I think you catch my drift without explanations. All it would basically need is first creating some "customers" the office works for and then setting up a user page (started), and then posting a template to newbies and others who might be interested. Help them get started with something concrete. For instance: "here's a real life newspiece about this car. Make the manufacturer of wooden wheels look good by comparison by slandering those rubber tyres on some made-up grounds". Then someone else could write a supporting article about how awesome wood is in general, and link it - something more encyclopedic than news. Then perhaps a newspiece about a "spontaneous" demonstration against rubber, because someone suffocated himself with a condom. This coupled with an "expert" writing an article on the dangers of rubber - perhaps because it contains the chemical H2O, H standing for Horror - or the like. In fact the general idea would support a whole site. It would be an easy way to have people churn out good articles with minimum brainwork (which could be saved for the details then). There could be a logo to be attached to the "office" generated articles to underline it. Something like the office of absolute truth.

I know this is what uncyc is about anyway. My aim is, however, to create something solid to make writing easier. I put this up on forum about half a year ago, and practically nobody gave a fuck. I hope someone gives one now. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 21:31, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

If you have questions please ask them under this header (I knew I should have put these headers up first thing but it was late, sorry)

So why did you create this forum instead of actually doing what you just said? You realise nobody is stopping you writing any articles you want to write? Spang talk 21:40, 01 Apr 2010
A few things: it's more fun as a collaboration, (and, for instance, many of you do many things far better than I do: setting up templates and stuff like that). Also I would like it to have ideas diverging from mine right at the start. The biggest thing is, I like to collaborate. Also, I would like others to partake right at the start, for their own fun. Also, I wanted to sound people out. I would have done it half a year ago if I wanted to do it alone. Also, I'm not aiming just to write an article but set up the trappings for different sets of articles, with the help of others. I'm giving you all a practical idea to actually help people write. If someone else wants to steer it, I have no problem with that. In fact, when the idea becomes clear, it will be seen it requires no steering at all. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 06:10, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
Perhaps what you suggest can be incorporated on a page to suggest methods of article composition but then I wonder how many users actually go there. However the idea of people 'churning' out articles isn't so attractive and getting people to do things here and agreeing is a like cat herding. --RomArtus Imperator(talk) 22:07, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
Perhaps you should just join me on this. I'm pretty easy to work with. I remember seeing your userpage state that you lack inspiration right now (sorry, I didn't check if this was still the case) - I had a fresh look in there. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 06:10, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
Not against working with others here on articles and done so with Zarbag and Spike on other works. I think to help everyone fully understand what you are suggesting is for you to produce a work as an example as a sort of template to explain this to others here. --RomArtus Imperator(talk) 10:09, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
Well, click on the link up there. It's not really about a single article (everyone will write their own when it gets going) but first setting up the office. First bit is to do research (started, e|m|c is on it as well), and someone should make a couple of templates at some point. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 10:21, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
OK I see it. Thanks. --RomArtus Imperator(talk) 10:28, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

If you want to collaborate please reply under this header

So, linked UnNewses? We've had that before, it's worked okay. If you start it out I may just write an article to go with it. Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 23:15, Apr 1 2010

Yes, like that but wider - also other articles linked to newspieces by subject, with an aim to serve an imaginary "client", whoever it is in each case. Using existing material or writing your own, sporking Uncyc and outside sources for "evidence", and so forth. I would actually set up an "office" for that first, not start by writing articles. A larger plan. The difference to what usually happens is this: there would be a part of Uncyc that concentrates on promoting the causes of some imaginary interest groups (like rabbits for instance), imaginary industries (like said wooden wheel manufacturers) and so forth. The Office of Absolute Truth (and I hope someone comes up with a better name) would be a parody of the practice of spinning things, like in Thank you for smoking for instance. I'm thinking of it as one step further off in that the clients could be utterly corny, the corniness underlining the silly part of twisting facts to your own purposes. But if someone wants to set up some more realistic-looking clients, I have nothing against that either. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 06:10, April 2, 2010 (UTC)


As you know from our talk in IRC, I'm all for this now that I understand it. I think it's a brilliant idea which, with consistent participation and efforts, will improve UnNews' quality and give me plenty of inspiration to get out of this writing funk. A collaboration on UnNews mimicking the process most news agencies run under is a great idea. -- [sire] EMC [TALK] 09:02 Apr 2 2010

As Zim and Spike seem to be running UnNews right now, do they need to support this idea too?--RomArtus Imperator(talk) 10:35, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
No, it's basically on its own. Of course I hope they do - but an UnNews article needs to be good anyway, to get featured there. This idea of mine really is just a tool to write different series(eses) of articles that interlink and parody real world propaganda. The readers will find them, if not on UnNews, then through Recent, and so forth. I will be featuring good science related ones on Science portal now that I'm back, and hope some others get to be other portal features at times. The Office acts like a news agency/marketing office, if you want to connect it to what it would be in the real world. It has basically nothing new to it but the fact that the articles have an imagined outside purpose, to give them direction, and thereby making them easier to write (and hopefully funnier to read as a series). -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 10:46, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Romartus, you're not helping matters! First all this talk about a secret cabal, which doesn't exist (and even if it did, that wouldn't prove it's Jewish), then the Chief opens a forum advertising certain very modest changes as the UnNews Revolt of 2010, then e|m|c warns the Chief that I am about to put him on the Spike, then the Chief indeed disappears indefinitely. Sir, all I am doing right now is rotating the Front Page features, and more slowly than the Chief would have, and advising some contributors about fine points of UnNews style.

Anyway, my opinion on the idea is that it does sound sort of UnNews-ish, a form of UnNews in which many of the stories would intertwine. Right now, we don't prohibit or mandate any such thing. We suggest that multiple articles on the same news event are welcome and don't have to adopt the same canon or alternate reality. We have the {{Old news}} template that lets writers cite a previous UnNews article, and links to supporting articles elsewhere in Uncyclopedia are always welcome.

At the time of his Mysterious Disappearance, the Chief had been working on UnNews sections. A Features page with comics, horoscopes, etc. is referenced on the new banner; he's getting a Religion section ready, and I had toyed with sections on Sports and US Politics. My Politics section is too US-centric for Zim's taste, but my opinion in UnNews:Newsroom has been that these sections should come and go based on the stories that people submit. The obvious repository for this work would be a new, ad-hoc UnNews section with its own Front Page.

Personally, I don't want to be bound to maintain or extend a canon if it doesn't strike me as the funniest way to go with an article--it raises the preparation cost to get a good laugh. I've even given up on one of my UnNews Audio inside jokes: that the anchorman couldn't pronounce "Massachusetts." It just seemed like a flub unless you were "in on it." Spıke ¬ 11:07 2-Apr-10

PS--I was not one who "wanted you to be constructive" but would like it if you were descriptive. Can someone rename this Forum to be about what it's about? In the mean time, I'll cross link it from the UnNews Newsroom (which, if you adopt this suggestion, will become a red link). Spıke ¬ 11:20 2-Apr-10

I will rewrite the forum in a more concise form, under a different name, later. Enough people will read it under any name, I suppose, for me to see if it gets enough support for a try. Also I promote it to people I see as potential contributors. This is just a sound-out still now. The Office will only need 4-5 active contributors, and some fly-by writers every now and then, to work. Don't worry over the Cabal thingy - we all know it doesn't exist. Also: I don't ask anyone to maintain or extend any canon. The tool is just a tool, that's all. By "I hope they do" I only mean that it would be cool if you added some to the research sections: links to real world news, clients if you come up with some, and so forth. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 11:33, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
And also also - what do you mean by UnNewish? The proposal I make is how news stories follow each other in the real world. The intertwining only is there to make the stories more interesting to the reader, and the underlining of that makes them more accessible. Also also also, what Necropaxx says: "So, linked UnNewses? We've had that before, it's worked okay." -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 11:38, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
And also one more also: I'm not here to make trouble about UnNews, if that's what you have in mind. I don't imagine a huge throng of semi-literate newbies writing inaccessible shit about things nobody cares about. I imagine someone will write an article now and then, getting inspiration from something someone else has written before, and from the fact that he/she can write against someone else because it's her imagined task. Like in some real world propaganda office. That's the fun of it for the writer, and I hope for the reader too. The rest of UnNews and Uncyclopedia stories will be written and featured as if my idea didn't exist. My purpose really is to raise the number of tolerable and good articles by providing practical guidelines, which I won't define alone, but with others. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 11:49, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Peace! I didn't think you were "here to make trouble," nor am I even here to stop you from making trouble. My only point above was to discuss how UnNews seems to deal with linked articles now, and how it might in the future. Go for it! Spıke ¬ 12:08 2-Apr-10

Don't worry - I just wanted to make it clear. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 12:15, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
What say we just remove everything under my reply to Romartus? This is beside the point and will divert attention needlessly. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 12:18, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

My initial message was also a reply to Romartus, has useful information on the current state of UnNews, and should stay. It's well below the headers you created to manage discussion. I have never known a Forum not to contain some material that diverts attention. Spıke ¬ 12:38 2-Apr-10

OK. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 12:47, April 2, 2010 (UTC)


After 1984, although I'm not sure if the e is in the original. Multiple articles linked in to a similar theme, based upon the idea that there is a mysterious client or benefactor who is using it to push their own agenda. Sort of the way that a current affairs show has a story relating to obesity and then the next ad break is about a new diet plan. Thinking of the Ben Elton book about biodomes being promoted by the company creating environmental disasters in order to promote their product. (This other eden maybe?) I've recently done something along similar lines with The truth about coca-cola which was basically what would happen if we had advertisers dictating content on Wikipedia? Another unofficial user group? Coca-cola is a ripe target for this type of thing and one that has been largely ignored on here - especially when you look at the number of McDonalds related articles and UnNews we have. Coca-cola led incentive that will reduce world hunger and fix the GFC? There is a quote somewhere from a coke rep who states the goal is to have everyone in the world have access to coke whenever they are thirsty. I also remember something relating to Guinness being enough to live on alone - what if a similar study said that about coke. It's a good idea and has merit, and I'm just riffing my own thoughts here, but I'd be happy to support it - especially as I'm not a huge fan of collabs, but the idea of individually written articles as part of a collaborative effort to create what is effectively an Uncyc running joke - good call. PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Friday, 11:56, Apr 2 2010 UTC

Thanks for the support - the user page is open for any research you might come up with. Link is up there. NO, UP THERE!!! -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 12:07, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

So I mostly just scanned this

... (because my personal life has taken over my internet cave dwellings as of late) and your SOS page and I like the underlying concept although I don't as of yet grok the truth/lies facet of the group yet.

  • I've wanted to put together a template for UnNewses for awhile now which interlaces the theme of making fun of the media... but then I got into categorizing all UnNews & then obsessed with revamping the rewrite/fix/edit templates, which of course will eventually lead up to my for a long-time-now future planned (t) cult er, organized and non-taxable religion. Anyway, the template category will tie many articles together but I'm not sure how it would fit into the mainspace other than with articles such as Faux News. I hadn't thought of creating content for it in mainspace before.
  • I've also put some though into a disambiguation page for discordia now that it's in IC at the moment since I don't seem to be able to contribute too much to the topic... basically a page pointing to some of the dicordia pages & making a couple of small (stub-like) article to support the disambiguation.
That's about it really. I 'll jump into this with you halfheartedly over the next two weeks & then go full force after that if you're still interested.  Happytimes are here!* (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  02 Apr 2010 ~ 23:08 (UTC)
I am interested, no problem. My main idea is to make the Summit of Spin into something that runs all on its own when one or two sample campaigns have been launched and written through. The most fun, I think, is that writers get to write against each other if they so wish; contradict something absurd with something idiotic, or vice versa, trying to make it as deadpan as possible. And also make it look like real news if possible. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 10:28, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
Oh, the truth/lies bit: most articles written by the office around a subject will be Truth, since our clients naturally represent truth. Of course since UnNews is independent of our media office, they publish the other kind of articles too. But we label them Lies. The labels are just there to point out there's some kind of show going on. If they're underlining it too much, they can just as well be left out. But anything preposterous stamped as TRUTH is slightly funny already, I think. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 10:33, April 5, 2010 (UTC)