Forum:We want Uncyclomania!

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This article will be destroyed by an angry muslim/terrorist.

I'm been thinking that maybe we can hold our first Uncyclomania on some location around MelbourneSan Francisco or New York? I kept seeing Wikipedia getting away with fancy events and we are getting fuck all! No events for us! Then they have this "Wikimania" and we are PISSED! And no Anti-Muslim comments!

We can actually have a conference/comedy session about improvements into Uncyclopedia and its projects, and how we can stand as a parody article. We can even talk about the current crisis we are in, meet ourselves in person (in real life), and we can also lampoon Jimmy Wales! Anyone in favor say For. In doubt? say For. Don't like it? Say Against. 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg.png | King Joseph® GiratinaOriginForme.png | Contact Goa Tse Clan Priest | Goa Tse Clan Sign Up | Rouge.gif | 09:45, 12 November 2008 (UTC)



NOTE: FOR FUCK'S SAKE, WHEN I MEAN MELBOURNE I MEAN THE ONE IN AUSTRALIA! Any comment about which Melbourne is it will be deleted because of total stupidity.

  • Have you noticed what site this is? Total stupidity comes with the territory. Asahatter (annoy) 10:25, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
  • Calm down, dear. This is Uncyclopedia, and you expect to be taken completely seriously? Also, if you delete other people's comments you'll shortly find yourself in a small, dark, lonely place. So don't do it. And one more thing: Only about 2% of our userbase is in Australia, so I wouldn't hold your breath for a massive response. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 11:00, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
  • I can't leave the country, because of that...felony. I'm not even supposed to leave my cell. That's why they lock the door, I'm guessing. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 11:09, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
  • Melbourne? But most Uncyclopedians won't even know where Derbyshire is... --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 11:32, Nov 5
Derby....shire? What is this place, in middle earth?--<<>> 12:30, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
Why the hell would I want to conduct Uncyclomania on top of a stinking corpse?! Something's really fishy with this guy. ~ 16:46, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
Don't be so prejudiced. Necrophiliacs are people, too. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 05:17, Nov 6
Absolutely! And what mention did Obama make of them in his acceptance speech, huh? Anyway, it's supposed to be around Mel Bourne, not on top of him. I'm all for it, provided there's muffins. Asahatter (annoy) 09:45, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
I say we have it in Alamba or Tennessee. Right between Kentuckystan and Atlanta. --Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 17:36, 6 November 2008 (UTC)

NEWS: It has been called that it will be in New York, New York. So stop posting anything Australia related; I decided that I wanted Uncyclomania in New York.800px-Flag of the Philippines svg.png | King Joseph® GiratinaOriginForme.png | Contact Goa Tse Clan Priest | Goa Tse Clan Sign Up | Rouge.gif | 05:28, 10 November 2008 (UTC)

Your Sovereign Needs You

Come on folks, King Joseph has taken valuable time out of his busy Aussie schedule to grant not one, but two audiences, and so far no-one has rallied to the sovereign's call. As loyal subjects of Uncyclopedia it is your unpatriotic duty recognize the divine right of kings and drag your shoddy asses from your keyboards to pay obeisance to His Majesty. In his own words:

"So, once more onto the beach, dear friends, once more; to close up the bars with Wales' death. In the Internets there's nothing so becomes a man as immodest silliness and stupidity. When the clarion call blows in our ears, then imitate the action of a grue; Cut heads off with a chain saw, summon up the blood, Replace democracy with flame-wars and cabal.
"Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide, Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit to his full height. On, on, you noblest Uncyclopedians.
"Dishonour not your mothers; The game's afoot: Follow your spirit, and upon this charge 'Cry Oscar for Joseph, Uncyclopedia, and Sophia!' "

Asahatter (annoy) 09:04, 11 November 2008 (UTC)

"But if the cause be not good, the king himself hath a heavy reckoning to make, when all those legs and arms and heads, chopped off in battle, shall join together at the latter day and cry all 'We died at such a place;' some swearing, some crying for a surgeon, some upon their wives left poor behind them, some upon the debts they owe, some upon their children rawly left. I am afeard there are few die well that die in a battle; for how can they charitably dispose of any thing, when blood is their argument? Now, if these men do not die well, it will be a black matter for the king that led them to it; whom to disobey were against all proportion of subjection." -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 10:18, 11 November 2008 (UTC)
"Excuse me, I don't mean to be a bother, but you are standing on my penis." Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 21:17, 11 November 2008 (UTC)
"I thought he was standing on your head;)"--Sycamore (talk) 21:23, 11 November 2008 (UTC)

Right, for fuck's sake, let's get this started off the drawing board

We recommend Hilton Hotels

Well, I decided to have two places: a'Straylia and the USA, so it could target two audiences; worlds apart. That's your assumption, right? 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg.png | King Joseph® GiratinaOriginForme.png | Contact Goa Tse Clan Priest | Goa Tse Clan Sign Up | Rouge.gif | 09:42, 12 November 2008 (UTC)

Fine. Since you're organising it all, let us know when you've booked the conference hall, keynote speakers and accomodation. I'll require a presidential suite, preferably at the Manhattan Sheraton (they do a great breakfast buffet there), as well as a car no more than 6 months old to transport me from the airport to downtown (*not* a Chrysler). Also, please confirm with the Sheraton reception staff that there'll be at least four packets of peanuts in the minibar. I need my midnight salt fix. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 12:47, 12 November 2008 (UTC)
Firstly, I don't live in New York, New York (geddit?). Secondly, I thought the admins will organise it, and I was just submitting my idea. And no way I am booking accomodation for you all. Book your own accomodation (preferably Hilton), bring your own things. All we need is where to organise it. The function room at a Hilton hotel? Or a conference center? You decide where to organise the conference in New York. We know the location of the first Uncyclomania, but when will it be held is the question. Perhaps in 2014 we can have one in Penis, France.800px-Flag of the Philippines svg.png | King Joseph® GiratinaOriginForme.png | Contact Goa Tse Clan Priest | Goa Tse Clan Sign Up | Rouge.gif | 10:01, 14 November 2008 (UTC)

P.S. Chronarion and RAHB can be keynote speakers.

Also, a thought. New York and Melbourne are both fine cities, but you're excluding five of the world's seven continents. If it's not too much trouble, can you also draw up plans for Uncyc conferences for Europe, South America, Africa, Asia and Antartica as well? We don't want to exclude anyone purely on the grounds of geography, after all! -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 13:03, 12 November 2008 (UTC)
Are you trying to harsh Joe9320's mellow? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 13:10, 12 November 2008 (UTC)
I'm at the Antarctica one. -- Hindleyite Converse?pedia 14:06, 12 November 2008 (UTC)
Two words: Easter Island. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 14:11, 12 November 2008 (UTC)
I need one in Reykjavik. Not because I live there, I just love the name. OOOOOBBBBBAAAAAMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAA.jpgOBAMA  •  SONIC80 -- ( Praise  •  Masterpieces  •  Contributions ) (Thar be-eth a timestamp --> 02:20, 14 November 2008 (UTC)
Uncyclomania Baghdad - your middle eastern connection ~ 10:23, 14 November 2008 (UTC)
Why Baghdad? There's war going on there, and I don't want homonecros (dead people) on Uncyc! Or Uncyclomania Baghmom- No Terrorists Required800px-Flag of the Philippines svg.png | King Joseph® GiratinaOriginForme.png | Contact Goa Tse Clan Priest | Goa Tse Clan Sign Up | Rouge.gif | 10:25, 18 November 2008 (UTC)
Some of our finest articles were written by dead people, I'll have you know. Also, Mordillo likes Baghdad because he's an Arab. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 10:12, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
I'm not just an Arab, I'm a member of the royal family of Hashemites. ~ 10:14, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
Gesundheit. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 10:27, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
Shukran. ~ 10:28, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
Ana la atakallum Al Arabiah. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 10:32, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
Well, forget Uncyclomania Baghmom, as Chronarion and RAHB couldn't go there. Try Uncyclomania Dubai- the Tallest Conference in History 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg.png | King Joseph® GiratinaOriginForme.png | Contact Goa Tse Clan Priest | Goa Tse Clan Sign Up | Rouge.gif | 10:38, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
Dubai? I think the number 35 bus goes there. --Nachlader 10:41, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
Why Dubai? That was a compromise of Baghdad, Baghmom/Baghmum, Melbourne and New York. Plus, it is becoming modern. All you need is to stay at Burj al Arab, fly with Emirates and you're in Dubai! And Uncyclomania? It will be held at the functions room in Burj al Arab. 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg.png | King Joseph® GiratinaOriginForme.png | Contact Goa Tse Clan Priest | Goa Tse Clan Sign Up | Rouge.gif | 10:47, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
Its settled then, we're going to Tehran. ~ 11:12, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
Open bar? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 11:22, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

My idea

I'll host it at my apartment in Los Angeles. We have, like...two bedrooms, uuuuhh, two pretty big bathrooms...the living room is kind of nice, um...try to bring your own ice boxes if you're wanting to chill any booze, you know, our freezer is pretty small. Oh and Oli, if you'd please wear a shirt this time, preferably one that isn't see-through, yeah, that would be great. In fact, I'm gonna go out on a limb here, and say, a jacket, you know, would be pretty cool. Yeah...big ass jacket...preferably not actually made of asses. -RAHB 11:33, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

Los Angeles? Oh, God, this is getting more complex for me to organise. A real conference to replicate Wikimania's would have to take many days, or even months. At least we can meet up together in person, the same way as Jimbo Jones meets his Wikizens in person. 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg.png | King Joseph® GiratinaOriginForme.png | Contact Goa Tse Clan Priest | Goa Tse Clan Sign Up | Rouge.gif | 05:49, 22 November 2008 (UTC)
I don't talk to internet people in real life. You all are dirty, creepy, rapists. Don't deny it. you know it's true. -RAHB 05:58, 22 November 2008 (UTC)
But you're "internet people". You do know that tu quoque is a logical fallacy, right? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 06:41, 22 November 2008 (UTC)
Absolutely not. I'm a dirty, creepy, rapist too, I just don't like to associate with other people like me. -RAHB 06:49, 22 November 2008 (UTC)
But you're the president of the IDCRoA. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 07:46, 22 November 2008 (UTC)
Absolutely, and as president of an organization of that nature, I must stay in the shadows. I have many enemies. Many spies, with many eyes. -RAHB 10:25, 22 November 2008 (UTC)
Did he wear his fishnet jersey again?! ~ 12:16, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
No, mine. It's all stretched out and smells like boiled cabbage now. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 12:47, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
I told RAHB that apples were the more traditional bobbing item., but apparently they do things "different" in Los Angeles. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 13:27, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
And I told you, we already have a more "traditional" usage of apples where I come from. -RAHB 21:51, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
Indeed. As I recall, your exact words were "How do you like them apples?" The rest of the evening is a bit of a blur. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 22:02, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
That's probably for the best. Uncyclopedians, as a group, are some ugly, ugly people. You know it's bad when <insert name here> is referred to as <airquotes>the attractive one</airquotes>. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 22:13, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
I think nowadays we've moved on to <airquotes>the one whose face only causes mild intestinal disturbance</airquotes> -RAHB 22:18, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
No way! The serendipity just blew my mind! Mild Intestinal Disturbance is <insert name here>'s real name! What weirdos give Intestinal for a middle name, anyway? It's clearly a first name. Odd. The whole Disturbance family is weird, and Public Disturbance is the worst of that bad bunch of rotten apples. That kid is gonna be in jail someday. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 22:31, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
Indeed, that's why I sign my name "M. Intestinal Disturbance". I dread the times when people ask me what the M stands for.I usually tell them "Modusoperandi". -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue)
I'm not at all sure <insert name here> is delighted at having Mild Intestinal Disturbance as his or her middle name - and I happen to have a VERY good reason. "Mild Intestinal Disturbance" contains three words, hence it cannot be one name in the usual sense. <insert name here> is a real nitpicker about things like this. I rest my case. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 09:02, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
I completely agree. I'd rather you choose a better disease as my middle name. ~ 11:32, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
Anyway, It's only "Intestinal" that's my middle name. "Mild Intestinal Disturbance"; that would just be silly. Although I am considering changing it to "Danger". -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 11:44, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
It seems lately I've been too fucked to read properly. I unrest my case since it was based on a misread sentence or two. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 11:58, 24 November 2008 (UTC)

Otherwise, we can have it online!

People can speak over the internet. If you have a webcam, film yourself being a speaker and post it on Youtube! 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg.png | King Joseph® GiratinaOriginForme.png | Contact Goa Tse Clan Priest | Goa Tse Clan Sign Up | Rouge.gif | 07:22, 25 November 2008 (UTC)

Uncyclopedians are all ugly. It's a fact. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 08:06, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
Hey I'm not ugly! I'm just beautiful in a different way. I'll leave you guessing, not going to Youtube my face. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 08:39, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
Your face isn't the bit of you that's beautiful anyways. -RAHB 15:18, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
You didn't even see my face I think. -- Random Oranssiviiva.jpg Man 13:30, 26 November 2008 (UTC)
/Me gets out guitar and goes James Cunt on you all...--Sycamore (Talk) 15:20, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
"You're DICK is beautiful!... Your DICK is beautiful!... Your DICK is beautiful, iiiit's true!!!" -RAHB 15:23, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
Well dammit, I just spent £100 on clothes and hair products just to make myself look better than I already was and then you throw me onto the ugly bandwagon? Flip! --Nachlader 16:14, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
Modusoperandi was making a sweeping generalisation here. On average, we're all ugly, but the stats are biased towards the ugly end because of the presence of people such as myself. I'm not even beautiful inside, and my spleen is particularly hideous. Asahatter (annoy) 16:39, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
I do everything sweeping. Except curling, oddly. That's why I'm an outcast, forced to wander from town to town, helping the locals deal with rogue punchlines, then disappearing as silently as I arrived. There's a voice that keeps on calling me/Down the road is where I'll always be... Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 18:27, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
You heard it here folks: "The Littlest Modus", currently syndicated absolutely nowhere. Asahatter (annoy) 18:33, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
I'm gayer and more wantonly vain than I say I am. --Nachlader 22:36, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
All my life I wanted Uncyc to compete with Wikipedia. They have won. Are you happy now? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg.png | King Joseph® GiratinaOriginForme.png | Contact Goa Tse Clan Priest | Goa Tse Clan Sign Up | Rouge.gif | 06:18, 2 December 2008 (UTC)
Yes, I'd say I'm very satisfied. In fact, I'm getting a bit of a hard-on. So thanks for that. I'm in the middle of class with a hard-on, and I can't do anything about it. -RAHB 15:34, 2 December 2008 (UTC)
Did you try HeadOn again? 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg.png | King Joseph® GiratinaOriginForme.png | Contact Goa Tse Clan Priest | Goa Tse Clan Sign Up | Rouge.gif | 06:52, 7 December 2008 (UTC)
What do you think the school bathrooms are for? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:17, Dec 2
What do you think the girl sitting infront of you is for? --Nachlader 22:49, 2 December 2008 (UTC)
The popular kids that actually have a chance? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:50, Dec 2
Then... I don't know... He could use his Star Trek pencil sharpener? --Nachlader 23:07, 2 December 2008 (UTC)
I prefer to use my Freakazoid! pencil sharpener, thank you very much. -RAHB 04:40, 3 December 2008 (UTC)
Electric or manual? Necropaxx (T) {~} 16:04, Dec 5
Hydraulic. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 04:17, 12 December 2008 (UTC)
Ten-speed as well. -RAHB 04:33, 12 December 2008 (UTC)