Fox Hunting

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Absolute pure evil

“In Soviet hunt YOU!!”

~ Dead corpes on concret slab

Fox hunting is when a bunch of country toffs go out on horses and use a load of beagles to hunt anything that even remotely resembles a fox. Fox hunting is unlikely to be banned, due to the mass canine unemployment it would cause.

Jamie-eligh is reaqlly pretty <3<3

Influence on Rats[edit]

Rats have been known to hunt feral cheeses on the back of cats - these are believed to be copycat crimes of fox hunting. These crimes have gone up by 50% over the last five years because of the amount of publicity fox hunting has been getting recently (down with freedom of speech!)

When the Foxes Fight Back[edit]

Recently, many foxes have been cornered by dogs only to be found to be carrying AK-47s and bazookas. Tony B. Liar says the weapons were supplied by Al-Qaeda, and that the notorious rebel fox leader Hisham bin Fayed should go on the FBI Most Wanted list. Of course, he already was, as he had a terrorist-like name.

The Debate about the Ban[edit]

  • Point for the ban: Foxes are ... well ... nice.
  • Point against: No they aren't! They're vermin, and they're ginger!
  • Point for: Hey! I'm ginger!
  • Point against: OK, I take that back. Anyway, if Chuck Norris stopped killing foxes it could mean the end of the human race (except for Chuck Norris obviously)!
  • Point for: Oh yeah, I didn't think of that! We should stop the ban.

Causes of Fox Hunting[edit]

Fox hunting is thought to be caused by a combination of a psychotic urge to kill without having the actual capacity to kill a lemming on Prozac, and having nothing better to do with a group of beagles, several horses and a trumpet. A new medical condition, Tea-N-Crumpetts' Syndrome, has recently been diagnosed as inducing a hatred of foxes, as well as a craving for Sunday luncheon and kippers for breakfast.

How to Sabotage a Fox Hunt[edit]

There are many ways to sabotage a fox hunt - here are just a few:

  • 1. Spray yourself with pledge and lead the hunt over a bypass.
  • 2. Mute the trumpet to create suspense and alert the fox to the fact that something is up.
  • 3. Bribe the beagles to stop by offering them fags.
  • Call in an air strike lead by USMC Captain Obvious
  • 4. Kill all the foxes in the area so there's nothing to hunt.
  • 5. Melt all the snares with a soldering iron, rendering them useless and leaving a huge patch of burnt ground.
  • 6. Convince the hunters that using dogs and snares are the way forward, and lead the dogs through the snares, leaving the hunters to fight hand to hand with the fox - and lose horribly.
  • 7. Use your long, unwashed hair as a net to trap the beagles.

When a Fox Hunt Goes Wrong[edit]

you know when a fox hunt has gone wrong when...

  • 1. The fox you have bagged is actually Chuck Norris dressed as a pig
  • You realized that the foxes come back to life because, your dumbass kid burried them in that pet cemetery you told them not to
  • 2. The only person left alive is a black and white beagle called Snoopy
  • 3. You look down the barrel and you can see Your Mom naked in your bathroom window
  • 4. If all the foxes come back as evil zombies trying rape Paris Hilton in L.A State Prison
  • 5. When you suddenly find yourself on a beach in the Bhamas
  • 6. You find yourself sinking in quicksand
  • 7. You find out that you shot your beagle instead of the fox
  • 8. You are just about to shoot a fox when you realise you have no trousers on
  • 9. When you finally catch the fox you discover that it is actually Amy Winehouse's hair.