Fraccal Sacks
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"Fraccal Sacks is like life; it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and a duvet"
- Oscar Wilde on Fraccal Sacks
[edit] History
The first documented game of Fraccal Sacks was in 1876, in which the Cumbria Masons beat the Northumberland Racers by the whopping score of 48-13, a match which, incidentally, also saw the first and only 'triple-hattrick-conversion-dismount' scored by none other than the great Oscar Wilde himself.
However, it has been established that people were playing the sport, or a version of it, as early and the 14th century, when the aztecs would place an animal-skin over their heads (traditionally that of an ox or the lesser-known pot-bellied mungrel) and run at each other with the aim of knocking the opposition (i.e. everyone) into tar pits or lava flows. Some say the sport has become less brutal since then, but fatalities in game-play are still numerous, and players participate at their own risk.
Since the invention of the duvet in 1998, the sport has seen a new lease of life, due mainly to its widespread teaching in boarding schools. Children around the country perform the nightly ritual of wrapping themselves in their duvets and charging at each other, and so by the time they are in their late teens they are extremely experienced Fraccal Sackers. David Beckham, who became head coach of England's national Fraccal Sacks team in 2008, says this of the young players of today: "They're good, yeah. They give 110%, which is good. No, like, yeah, they're really good. What?"
[edit] Rules
These are the rules of Fraccal Sacks, as laid down by the Fraccal Sacks Committee in the Fraccal Sacks Act of 1999:
1. All players must be covered, with a duvet, from neck to ankle before the game commences.
2. There must be an umpire present, also covered from neck to ankle.
3. The match shall commence when the umpire deems everyone mentally prepared, to avoid unnecessary injuries, and shall last until all players are unconscious or deceased.
4. Points shall be awarded by the umpire in a random fashion at irregular intervals, and will be announced to all players.
5. Should the umpire be rendered unconscious or deceased, the task of the awarding of points shall go to anyone who feels that points deserve to be awarded.
6. The huffing of kittens prior to a match is forbidden, since this is proven to enhance performance. Should any player be found huffing kittens or with traces of kitten in his or her urine, they shall be disqualified, and their kitten(s) shall be confiscated.
