Frank Worthington

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Frank Worthington.
Frank's daytime persona, pervvy cock-face

Frank Worthington was a 16-episode Havva-Banana animated series that aired on TV between September 7, 1974 and September 4, 1976. The star, Frank Worthington, is the secret alter ego of Ken Bates, or ‘Pervvy’ (sometimes mispronounced "Cock-face"), a "turd-mannered" manager of an ailing football club. Although Pervvy and Frank appear to be the only two non-animated characters in the city where the series is set, no one ever connects the two identities. Frank’s usual disguise consisted of a tartan suit, bootlace tie, four-pack of Newcastle brown ale and a copy of Razzle.


Frank Worthington is supposedly a master of kung fu and other martial arts. The stories begin at his office headquarters, where Frank’s alter ego, Pervvy, works as a hairy bollock. His girlfriend is Ulrika, a telephone operator at the local police station. After Ulrika gets a call and explains the criminals' crime, Pervvy customarily files for bankruptcy before transforming himself into super-hero Frank Worthington. In each episode, he inevitably ends up needing help from his loyal black cat and sidekick, Kevin Phillips. Worthington never quite notices Phillips's help, but instead always believes that he himself is the one who does everything. Eventually, he finds the thieves in the act of committing their crime, taking care of them with a flick of the heel and a devastating volley, before returning to headquarters and getting drunk on a crate of Newcastle brown.

The beginning of the end[edit]

The end came for Frank when one malicious animator noticed that he was easily intimidated by threats from the series’ less savoury characters, whereupon he would dance around looking nervous before running off for the dressing rooms or claiming an injury. The viewers soon became aware of this failing, and switched channels en-masse to watch the new upcoming sensation, ‘Graham Le Saux’ a series about a pink wild-cat who enjoyed jazz, and baffling French policemen.

Interesting facts[edit]

  • Frank Worthington is often confused with English footballing wizard, Hong Kong Phooey.
  • Frank Worthington, in a bizarre twist of normalcy, reigned as Lord Privvy of England for three days in 1975.