French Canadian

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{Taxobox | name = French Canadian | image = | kingdom = Alcoholia | phylum = Nicotenia | odor = bruning rubber mixed with expldoing garlic cigarettes | order = cowards | family = Frogs | genus = things we could do without | species = Smokinguse Perpetualus | subspecies = racist

}}


Crossbreed between toad and martian. The 'French Canadian, commonly called "Drunk smoking dumbass", is the missing evolutionary link between pong slim and pond scum. They are easily identified by urin-colored teeth, skin with celery-like texture, and a stench that smells like burning poo. If you see a French Candian, do not approach —they are parasitic disease spreaders known to carry the bubonic plague, AIDS, SARS, extreme flatuelnce syndrome, uncontrollable cursing disease, and lepracy. They are reported to bite ankles and toes off of anglophones.

Appearance[edit]

Males

Male French Canadians can be identified by a nose the size of an iguana, an odor smelling of Cat puke, teeth the color of urine, a burning stick in the foot-wide mouth, smoke above their heads, skin the color of urine, urine in their pants, the stench of urine, and eyes glowing red.

Females

Facial hair above mouth. Fat butt, otherwise as skinny as Gollum. Smelling of old beer. Interchangeable with skank. Large mouth, no lips, fangs/tusks shooting upwards out of nose or ears. Ugly. Hair the color of a dirty sportscar.

Both males and females grow to a maximum height of 2.8 feet. Both are smelling.

Dialect[edit]

A fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah! Hangh Hangh Hange Hange! $h!#! *PTOO* PTOO* HEIL HITLER! HEIL HITLER ! HEIL LEVESQUE! A fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah! Hangh Hangh Hange Hange! $h!#! A fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah! Hangh Hangh Hange Hange! $h!#! A fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah! Hangh Hangh Hange Hange! $h!#! A fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah! Hangh Hangh Hange Hange! $h!#! A fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah! Hangh Hangh Hange Hange! $h!#! A fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah! Hangh Hangh Hange Hange! $h!#! A fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah! Hangh Hangh Hange Hange! $h!#! A fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah! Hangh Hangh Hange Hange! $h!#! A fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah! Hangh Hangh Hange Hange! $h!#! A fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah! Hangh Hangh Hange Hange! $h!#! A fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah fwah! Hangh Hangh Hange Hange! $h!#!

Do not try to communicate with French Canadian.

They wil rob you or spit on you.

Common French Canadian Careers[edit]

~Robbery

~Welfare bum

~Nazi

~Bureaucrat

Diet[edit]

The French Canadian diet consistes of french fries covered in poo and bird poo, dogs, alcohol, nicotine, nicoderm, nicorette, beer, grease, grass, alcohol and alcohol.