Fried Chicken

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“There is something that you won't like. They don't serve fried chicken and watermelon in my mess hall on a daily basis!”

~ Gunnery Sergeant Hartman on Full Metal Jacket

“I love fried chicken almost as much as I love That Kid!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Fried Chicken

“Fried Chicken! Whooeee, that sounds like a good time, wait, all you do is eat it?”

~ Dave Chappelle on Fried Chicken

“Fried Chicken, fly vixen, give me heart disease but need you in my kitchen oh god do i love my fried chicken nigga”

~ Nas on Fried Chicken (ft. Busta Rhymes)

“In Soviet Russia, Chicken fries you!”

~ Josef Stalin on Fried Chicken

“Oh the kids these days with the chicken and the fryin and the Colonel Sanders and the grease and the heart clots.”

~ Bill Cosby on Fried Chicken

“Fried chicken is a piece of chicken that has been fried.”

~ Captain Obvious on Fried Chicken

A tasty delicacy made by enclosing pieces of chicken within a seasoned coating and frying them in hot fat, fried chicken is the national bird of the Southern United States. Although any part of the chicken may be fried and eaten, generally it is the exterior parts you will find in a KFC bucket. This is enjoyed by niggers everyehere. Internal organs (such as the lungs, thorax, spleen, and appendix) are more valuable as delicacies and are often reserved for use in the confectionary industry.

Contents 1 Black People 2 Purple People 3 Fried chicken in Russia 4 Religion 5 Types of fried chicken 6 Sample Recipe 7 Overdose 8 See also

[edit] Black People

It is a known fact that Black people love fried chicken. I cannot blame them i l ove KFC! OH YEAH I LOVE THAT FRIED MMMMM OHHH YEAH! If you walk into a Popeyes, KFC, or Brown's, it is guarenteed to be packed full of Black people. Black people prefer Poppeyes to KFC, and Brown's to Popeyes.

Brown's > Popeyes > KFC .

[edit] Purple People

Purple people love it too, but they are usually too busy trying to avoid the Purple People Eater.

[edit] Fried chicken in Russia

In Russia it is marketed under the name "Kentucken Frucken Chicken", with the slogan "Licking and fingering good!".

[edit] Religion

Originally created as a sacrifice to the gods of ancient Kentuckistan. The most common god is known to the locals simply as the "the Colonel," though in other cultures his variants may be called anything from "Pappy" to "you motherfucker." Eating fried chicken is a common religious practice among Rednecks. Rednecks, or hillbillies, have been known to eat up to three family sized buckets of KFC a day, usually accompanied by large helpings of Jack Daniels and Country Music.

[edit] Types of fried chicken

*Fried chicken - A general term used for whole, bone-in chicken pieces, usually breasts, thighs, penises, and other sexy bits. Invented by this plantation owner known as the colonel, who stole the recipe from his slaves, and never gave them credit.

• Chicken fingers - This is one of the most common forms of fried chicken, although it isn't made from chicken at all. Chickens don't have fingers. But people do.
• Chicken nuggets - Balls.
• Buffalo wings - The blood-drenched wings of a Buffalo/Chicken Hybrid (see:Juggalo}
• Popcorn chicken - Popularly served in movie theaters, this style of chicken is cooked in a pan of boiling oil until they explode. It is usually topped with salt, butter, and/or clemen.
• Chicken patties - Breaded chicken shit. In the 4th century, slaves were forced to eat this crap by their cruel masters. Yet, for some reason, this dish continues to remain popular among Rednecks even to this day.
• Chicken beer - An awkward, fermented, fried chicken beverage.
• Chicken dipper - 'CHIKAAAAAN DIIIIIPPERRRRRR' - Ali G (see wigger)

[edit] Sample Recipe

From Method of Cookery With Receipts &c. first published in 1525:

1 chicken, cute upp in pieces
An egg, beaten welle
Halfe a glass of milke, squeezed freshe from the teate
Flowrr, to cover the bits of chicken
A potte of fatte

Taketh the egg and beateth it well with the milke.  Put the chicken
to this and after rubbe in the flowrr, adding salte & pepyr as
your heart doth desireth. Cook these all in the hot fat and serve
forth.

[edit] Overdose

There have been numerous reports of people overdosing on fried chicken and watermelon. (Mostly in the southern US) On a more notable note, watermelon has been a friendly counter part with fried chicken, as it is tasty snack for black families all across the US.

[edit] See also

• Biggie Smalls
• Dr. Dre
• Ice Cube
• N.W.A.
• KFC
• mutant chicken
• Chicken Huffing
• Popeye's Fried Chicken
• Frying Chicken
• Chicken 2

v • d • e Chicken Soup for the Eyes

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