Frogger

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Artists impression of the Whale Invasion. Never again will mankind be so complacent.

Frogger[edit]

Frogger was first coded in 1961. It was produced by GTA, the world’s largest and most successful game company. The game was a mediocre failure for Sega at the time, as they were struggling amid rumors of corporate apathy and lack of shareholder faith. Frogger was at the time praised by critics for its immersive graphics and impressive micro-management system. However, the critics were not so impressed with the fact that the frog had three legs, nor the fact that some of the cars were in fact moving swear words.

Description[edit]

Screenshot from level 79. Ha! We all remember that one.

The aim of Frogger is to guide community figurehead and wildly successful orthopedic surgeon Axel Frogger home after a failed experimental surgery technique results in him releasing the T-Virus upon Raccoon City. In the game itself, Axel starts at the bottom of the screen. The lower half of the screen is filled with shambling zombies who must be dodged (Axel is a committed pacifist and therefore sees the use of weapons as an unforgivable sin). The upper half of the screen includes a canal which must be crossed by using various precariously floating objects such as abandoned traffic cones and rusting shopping carts. Once over the canal Frogger can enter one of five tunnels, only to appear on the next “level” full of more zombies and canals.

Each level in Frogger is timed. If time runs out, the game declares that the black helicopters have taken off and Axel is consigned to a life in the post-apocalyptic wasteland. The game also ends if Axel gets his brains sprayed across the street by a pesky zombie or if he impales himself upon a particularly sharp traffic cone.

Not a best seller.

The main reason Frogger was ignored by the general public and drew slight criticism from the media was that it had an unwieldy control scheme. The game could only be played in the home with the Frogger controller, which had 312 buttons. The buttons were used to control Axel’s body, from the complex strength, run speed, direction to the simpler game play affecting elements such as his muscle tension and serotonin levels.

Secrets[edit]

Reverse Mode[edit]

In 2 minutes there WILL be sex.

If the player managed to get Axel Frogger to the helicopter pad by beating all 275 levels, they would unlock the much talked about “reverse mode”. In this mode, Axel must go from the top of the screen to the bottom. The game would double the number of pointed traffic cones and considerably increase the zombie shamble speed.

Reverse Mode Ending[edit]

If the player managed to complete reverse mode they would reach the helicopter base to find it empty, and a dying man would relay the message on screen “sorry Axel, the helicopter is in another hanger!”

Hidden Sex Mini-Game[edit]

When the PC version was eventually released, players found they could illegally purchase floppy discs which unlocked a secret mini-game that allowed the player to participate in sexual intercourse with women in frog costumes. Jack Thompson in his first winning case managed to sue Sega for “deliberately unleashing frog porn in a game rated suitable for minors”.

Frogger:The Movie[edit]

As Frogger was the best videogame ever made a film had to be made.Because if not...OH GOD!! IT'S COMING BACK!!!NOOOOOO! GET TO THE BARN!!! The movie starred Arnold Schwartsnegger as Frogger,Robin Williams as Car#2,and Mel Gibson as Jumbo The Cheese Truck. The Movie centered on Frogger fighting gang wars with Jumbo The Cheese Truck and Car#2 eventually this ends in him becoming a splat! on the road folllowed by a Wa,Wa,WAAAAAA! It was spawned many sequels: Frogger II:The Cheese Truck's Back,Sucka!(1965) Starred Bruce Willis as Frogger,with a reprisal by Gibson as Jumbo.

Beverly Hills Frogger(1972) Eddie Murphy as Frogger and Tom Cruise's car as it's Damnself.

Fucking Frogger:The Bad-Ass 90's (1992) George Fucking Clooney as Fucking Frogger and other fucking people as other fuckin' cars! Damn dat bad-ass!


Epilogue[edit]

The release of Frogger 2: A Spider in the Bath.

Despite the failure of the original game to set the mainstream on fire, Sega went on to produce a number of diverse expansion packs and sequels. This would ultimately kill the popularity the game achieved later on. A full list of the expansions and sequels are listed here:

  • Frogger (1961)
  • Frogger 2 (1963)
  • Frogger 2: A Spider in the Bath (1963)
  • Frogger 3 (1967)
  • Frogger 3: The Manchurian Candidate (1965, in a landmark decision to release the expansion 2 years before the required main game was released, to build anticipation)
  • Sid Meier’s Frogger (1984)
  • Frogger Returns ('in production')

Note: Regrettably, most of the Frogger and Frogger sequels and various expansions were destroyed in the horrific Killer Whale Invasion of 2011.