Fruits Basket
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Contrary to popular belief, Fruits Basket is not about a bunch of Fruits sitting in a Basket. It is a metaphor for being lame and feeling left out. Because Tohru's a rice ball. And a rice ball doesn't belong in a Fruits Basket. Except for the ones with the special plums on their backs, because that means they're friends with scizophrenic animal-boys, who are FRUITS and therefore do belong in said Basket.
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[edit] Characters
[edit] Tohru Honda
Her father owned the popular Japanese car company before her mother, Kyoko, became a motorcycle-riding lesbian and one of his own cars killed her. Then Tohru lived in a tent, where she frequently had in-depth discussions with her dead, lesbian mother's picture, until she was found by the local high school's popular metrosexual, Yuki Sohma. Then she goes to live at his place with his pedophile of a cousin and his boyfriend, Kyo.
[edit] Yuki Sohma
When Yuki was a very small child, everyone liked him better than Kyo, so because Yuki's so nice, he decided to think of a reason why people should like Kyo better than him. This is when he came out. However, despite Yuki's newfound homosexuality, everyone still liked him better than Kyo. Yuki turns into a rat when he hugs girls. Which might be why he's gay.
[edit] Kyo Sohma
He turns into a cat, which is totally weird, because the cat's not even part of the zodiac. A lot of people like to think that since Kyo and Tohru are both outsiders, what with him being a cat and her being a rice ball, they should be together. However, in the manga issue 124, Kyo is found in the closet kissing a picture of Pete Wentz's genitals. He then comes out of the closet. And also admits that he's gay.
[edit] Shigure Sohma
Not to be confused with Sugar Ray, the band-that-lasted-an-hour-and-then-resorted-to-being-in-the-first-Scooby-Doo-movie. Shigure likes high school girls. And Akito, strangely. He was going to enter the competition to becom the Obamas's new dog, but the White House guards found smutty pictures on his laptop.
[edit] Akito Sohma
Kind of a jerk. And a crossdresser. Shigure stalks him/her via Myspace. Voted "Most Likely to be Mauled by Yuki's Fangirls."
[edit] Saki Hanajima
Hana is noted as the first female emo kid in anime. The first male was Gaara.
[edit] Arisa Uotani
She has a random lady-crush on Kyoko Honda, Tohru's dead, lesbian mother. She also secretly likes Kyo, though she often patronizes him. Many fans believe that this is done in hopes of bringing out his snarky side, and therefore turning him heterosexual. However, Uo's efforts are wasted, seeing as Kyo's too far gone on Yuki to notice anything with breasts, even if she DOES talk like a man.
[edit] Manga VS Anime
Lots of people prefer the manga.
Lots of people don't.
The anime is better, because you can actually hear Kyo and Yuki shouting at each other, and also when they have sex.
[edit] Plot
Tohru is a self-depricating girl who just wants everyone to be happy. She is in love with Yuki, and then with Kyo, before she realizes that finding love with two fruitcakes who turn into animals is not the best way to live one's life. She happens upon this epiphany after walking in on Yuki taking it up the ass from Kyo. Tohru is a little disappointed at the sex, at first, because she loves Prince Yuki and also The Hot And Dangerous-Looking Kyo all at the same time, but she didn't say anything because Tohru doesn't care about her own feelings. She just likes pleasing other people. In episode 27, this need to please leads her to move to America to become a prostitute. When she reaches Las Vegas, she gets a Sex Reassignment Surgery and starts her career as a rent boy.
Meanwhile, Yuki and Kyo have discovered the magic of being homosexuals. They no longer hug women because they think breasts are icky now, and therefore no longer turn into dirty, smelly animals. Shigure stops writing whatever the hell he's been writing this whole time and begins a series of homosexual erotica based on the lives of Yuki and Kyo. When the boys find out about this, they chase Shigure around the house with Tohru's abandoned mop. No one misses Tohru because she's a slutcake.
Hana reads tarot at the local bar to make a living, and Uo wins "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and spends the rest of her time and money reading Shigure's erotica. She still really, really likes Kyo.
Momiji is a tranny. Seriously. Always has been, always will be.
Hatori continues to be emo.
[edit] Statistics
14% of teen females, either Asian or wannabe-Asian, believe that Tohru should be with Kyo, and about 14% believe that Tohru should be with Yuki. However, the other 72% believe that Kyo and Yuki should have sex. Kyo's seme, obviously. Shigure would videotape it and Tohru and Kagura would be masturbating in the corner, and Haru would just blink once or twice because hey, he totally saw this coming.
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