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I Call ‘em Like I See ‘em

“I spent two years in jail for saying the word "fuck." It ruined my life.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Gay Rights

Fuck (Fornication Under Consent of the King), not to be confused with FCUK (or FKCU, or even FKUC for that matter), is a phrase commonly used to insult, but it actually means sex. Meaning, when a fucking person says "fuck you", they mean to murder you through sexual intercourse. Or when they say "fuck off", they mean to have sexual intercourse with you in such a manner that you are thrust off a high area (such as a building, or cliff). Fucking can also be a great way to get to know someone!

For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Fuck.


You may be asking yourself "Who the fuck invented fuck." The word "fuck" is actually an acronym first used by New Orleans police in the towns Red Light District. It Stands for, "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" The word "fuck" was first commonly used by the ancient god of all that is man, Samuel L. Jackson in the movie, Pulp Fiction. He honed his talent for saying variations of the word "motherfuck" in popular culture and world cinema, eventually garnering nominations on Oscars, Emmy Awards and the Adult Film Awards for his many great performances of him yelling and saying motherfuck, as seen in every one of his films. To fuck is an way of sati bagi pula intro fata cu sani mari bagasi pula in ea de curva (whatever the fuck that means)! Because of its unique uses, diverse possibilities, and endless uses to manipulate a sentence, mankind has recognized fuck as not only "the f-word" but Oxford Dictionary, Time Magazine, and even Sir Officer John McClane kill anyone instantly who does not proclaim it as "the fucking most fucking amazing fucking word of fuckin' like the fucking infinity".

There is no end to the enjoyment that can be had by reading scholarly articles about the word "fuck".


Details of the chemical synthesis of FUCK. (Technical note: A tremendous burst of energy spouts from the tip of the molecule on the left after the reaction)

FUCK is an orgasmic isotope composed of Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon and Potassium, and is the basic component of the erotic acids fucitol, fucol, and fukugetin. It is purified from a number of raw ores such as fukalite and fornacite. There is some controversy in the extraction of FUCK from sodamite; some say that resulting FUCK is a bent isomer and excessively high in gayons. SEX (sodium ethyl xanthate) is a similar compound used extensively in mining FUCK. FUCK is also widely used in the drug Fukitol and Jammitin}} (reference). A molecule often seen in conjunction with FUCK is Fe2Mg5Si8O22(OH)2. Is it cummingtonite?

"Making Fuck"

Fucking Russian Berserkers commonly sing traditional fucking folk songs about "making fuck". The lyrics are particularly eloquent (compared to regular Berserker music) as is summed up most clearly when the singer plaintively wails "My love for you is ticking clock, Berserker!". As one can see, the Berserker custom is to follow the verse with a cry of "Berserker!", proclaiming to all the world just who it is that is making fuck. The "big pile off shit movie" aka Clerks features the traditional song as a homage to the documentary's creator Kevin "Russian dancing bear" Smith.


The word Fuck was coined by Shakespeare in 1582 when he was writing the Comedy of Errors. Upon finishing the play he realized that he had only included sex in the plot and no death (immenent death, but not death itself.)While sex is not apparent in The Comedy of errors, Antipholous alludes to it when he wants to break down his wife Adrianna's "house" with his "staff". Upon realizing that he had only included "Le petit morie" in his play, and not "Big Death". Mr. Shakespeare exclaimed "Oh fuck! This is supposed to be a tragedy, but no one dies." Realizing his genius in discovering a new word, Shakespeare revised the Comedy of Errors to say "fuck" in place of sex. The word "Fuck" is used 1993 times in The Comedy of Errors. This is how "Fuck" came to be used in modern English.

In the TV was here.

Other forms of the word "fuck" have been coined by other literary geniuses, chiefly Oscar Wilde. In his only novel, The Ugly Ass Picture of Samuel L. Jackson, the main character, Samuel L. Jackson yells "I am tired of this motherfuckin picture getting more motherfuckin ugly." This is the first recorded use of "motherfucker."

Fuck is perhaps one of the most interesting and exciting words in the English language. Fuck is the one magical word which just by its sound can describe pleasure, pain, hate, and love. Fuck comes from the German word, "frikon".

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.

  • Fuck can be used as a verb both transitive (he fucked her) and intransitive (she was fucked by him).
  • a active verb (he really gives a fuck),
  • a passive verb (she really doesn't give a fuck),
  • an adverb (she is fucking interested in him) and
  • a noun (she is a fine fuck).
  • an adjective (he is a fucking cunt)
  • an interjection (FUCK!!!!!!)

The word "fuck" can also be used as an adjective, a noun, and a verb in the same sentence. For example, "Fuck that fucking fucker!"

As you can see there is a whole lot of real versatility with "fuck". It pops up everywhere. Besides its sexual connotation, this lovely word can be used to describe many situations:

  • GREETING - How the fuck are you?
  • FRAUD - I got fucked by that cock;
  • DISMAY - Oh, fuck it!;
  • TROUBLE - I'm fucked now!;
  • CONFUSION - What the fuck?!;
  • ANNOYANCE - For fuck's sake!
  • AGGRESSION - "Fuck you!";
  • EXTREME AGGRESSION - "Fuck you motherfucking piece of fucking shit!"
  • DISGUST - "Fuck me"
  • DESPAIR - "Fucked again!"
  • PHILOSOPHY - "Who gives a fuck?"
  • INCOMPETENCE - "He's a real fuck-off";
  • DISPLEASURE - "What the fuck is going on here?"
  • NUMEROLOGY - "Sixty-fuckin'-nine";
  • LOST - "Where the fuck are we?"
  • DISBELIEF - "Unfuckingbelievable"
  • RETALIATION - "Up your fucking ass!""
  • REBELLION - "Fuck it!;"
  • SATISFACTION - "Oh yeah, fuck me more!"
  • SPEECHLESS - "Dude...FUCK!"
  • DISMISSAL - "Why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself"
  • ENDEARMENT - "I fucking love you."

Also as:

  • DESCRIPTIVE ANATOMY - "He's a fuckin' asshole!"
  • TO TELL TIME - "It's six-fucking-thirty."
  • PREDICTION - "Well, I'll be fucked!"
  • LAW - "Fuck the police"
  • A POLITICAL STATEMENT - "Fuck Washington"
  • INCESTUOUS - "Motherfucker"
  • A PUT DOWN - "Fuck off, buster!"
  • ALL ENCOMPASSING - "Fuck 'em all!"
  • DISCRIMINATION - "Fucking niggers (chinks, jews, women, fags, wookies, etc.)"
  • A POKER HAND- "A royal fuck"
  • TO START A RELATIONSHIP - "Let's fuck now!"
  • AS AN ACCEPTANCE - "Fuckin' eh!"
  • ENJOYMENT - "Fuckin' Wow!" "
  • A CLOSING - "Fuckingly yours".
  • MATERNAL - "Motherfucker"
  • POLITICAL - Fuck Bush!!(Formerly Known As "Buck Fush!!")
  • INTELLIGENCE - "You stupid fuck"
  • RELIGIOUS - "Holy fuck"
  • REFERENCE - "Let's make like a tree and get the fuck out of here!"

Never forget the quotes of some famous people in our history and in the present:

  • BLAH BLAH BLAH - "Fuck fuck fuckitty fuck fuck!"
  • Noah: "Scattered fucking showers - my ass!"
  • Michelangelo: "You want me to paint what on the fucking ceiling? Oh you want me to paint that fucking thing. Wait, what the fuck?"
  • George Custer: "Where did all these Fucking indians come from?"
  • Samuel L. Mothafuckin' Jackson: "Mothafuck!"
  • Einstein: "Any fucker can understand that"
  • Mayor of Hiroshima: "What the fuck was that?"
  • Heidi Fleuss: "Fuck these celebrities!"
  • Samuel L. Mothafuckin' Jackson: "...Mo-tha-FUCK!"
  • Mayor Richard Daley: "Fuck the heat" - - Chicago IL
  • John Wayne: "Fuck death and the lung cancer he rode in on."
  • Samuel L. Mothafuckin' Jackson: "...Mushroom Cloud Layin' Mothafucka, Mothafucka."
  • Bill Clinton: "What the fuck's this inhaling thing?"
  • Oliver North: "You're all fucking liars!"
  • Leslie Is A Mann: "Let's go get some fucking french toast!"
  • Bill Clinton: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman... I just fucked her in the mouth!"
  • Samuel L. Mothafuckin' Jackson: "...Mothafuckin' snakes..."
  • Sean PennFuck: "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck etc."
  • Samuel L. Mothafuckin' Jackson: "We're about to open some fuckin windows!"
  • Eddie Murphy: "Fuck you, Fuck you, and Fuck you. Who's next?"
  • Samuel L. Mothafuckin' Jackson: "If you don't shut the fuck up, mothafucka, I will shove this mothafuckin' lightsaber so far up yo' mothafuckin' ass that yo' mothafuckin' eyes will glow mothafuckin' purple...Mothafucka!" -- In reference to Anakin Skywalker.
  • Jack Nicholas: "Fuck this for a lark, 1995 British Open "
  • George Carlin: "Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits, fart,turd and twat"
  • The guy in sense and sensibility: "Quite frankly my dear, I don't give a fuck!"
  • Morgan Freeman: "Shoot that mothafucka!"
  • James Franco: "Fuck the police!"
  • Tupac: "Yo I fucked yo bitch you fat mothafucka!"
  • Jonah Hill: "She's DTF - down to fuck!"
  • Leslie Is A Mann: "That fucker came out of nowhere!"
  • Larry David: "Fuck yoooooooouuuuuuuuu!"
  • Christian Bale: "Fuck sakes, you're an amatuer!"

And last but not least, the immortal words of the captain of the Titanic, who said "Full speed ahead and fuck the iceberg" and five minutes later said "Where is all this fucking water coming from?

The mind fairly boggles at the many creative uses of the many creative uses of the word. How can anyone be offended when you say "FUCK"? Use fuck in your daily speech proudly. Fuck adds prestige to any conversextion. Put this colorful four letter word to work for you. Today tell someone you know "fuck you" ... or "Let's fuck!"

This is a disclaimer. We know the origin of the word FUCK. When the puritans settled what is now Salem, they had this issue about pre-marital sex, they didn't approve of it. Not that it should matter to anybody except the two or three etc people are involved in in the privacy of their own home. Well these butt-inskies decided that sex should be a crime, and orgasms should be outlawed. Strange, how they thought they had the right to suppress one of God's greatest gifts while doing this in the name of God. Well If two people were caught in the act of having sex or even thinking about having sex they were brought to trial.

If they were found guilty the crime they were committed of was "For Under Carnal Knowledge". They were put in the stockades and their crime was also carved in a piece of wood and placed over their heads. This was before the printing press or even before Black and Decker and God forbid Craftsman power tools (I like Craftsmans tools, even my chain saw is Craftsman). So all carving in wood had to be done not only by hand, but with handmade tools. Since they couldn't run over to England or Germany very easily, they didn't have any airplanes yet either, they had to try to conserve their tools and time. Just imagine carving the whole thing out when they could be out looking for young lovers to lock up or witches to burn at the stake. So they invented the acronym, which is a word or letter abbreviations for longer phrases. So if you were caught fucking around, and found guilty, you had the word F.U.C.K placed over your head while you spent time in the stockades.

Acronym usage

The entrance of Leonard Carlo's tavern in Colorado Springs, a billboard sign saying NO FUCKING PUBLIC RESTROOMS OR PAY PHONES. Not that this guy could stop himself.

FUCK means

  • Fornication Under (the) Consent (of the) King
  • For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge
  • Federal University of Covington, Kentucky
  • Federal University of Central Kentucky
Example acronym for the word fuck. Is that where you're going?
  • Federal University of Central Kansas
  • The Finnish University of Chemistry and Kinesiology"
  • The Free Union of Cardinals of Koligrand
  • Fear(the)Ugly Crappy Kangaroo
  • The Friendly Universal Caring Kind (a real fucking band from Fucktoona, Fucksylvania!)
  • Friendship Unity Caring and Kindness
  • The Fairfield union charging Knights my home school
  • Friends University of Central Kansas
  • First Unitarian Church of Kennebunkport, ME
  • Federational Unitarian Church of Kentucky
  • Firmingham University of Christian Knights
  • Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
  • ' Friends U Can Keep

Fucking Laws

  • When the cops tell you it's time to get a lawyer, you know you done gone fucked up.
  • If you let the girl get on top, you're fucking up.
  • If you think I'm going to pay for this, you're fucking nuts!

Proper Usage

The product of two ugly fucks that fucked.


mynutsakeishuge Its versatility as a word is rarely seen in the common lexicon. It can be used as a noun:

"Damn! That fuck got away!"

As both a prefix and a suffix to a noun:

"Hey, fuckface, are you up for a dogfuck?"

As a verb:

"That dog is hot; I'd fuck her like I fucked your mom!"

In Russian Reversal:

"In Soviet Russia, goat fucks YOU!!"

As an adjective:

"That fucking Protestant won't get away with it." but they will because that how it is.

As a transitive verb:

"John fucks Shirley." and she screams.

As an intransitive verb:

"Shirley fucks." a lot, believe me.

As a place/name:

"Oh, I feel so nice in my Fuck" yes- very comfy...

As a way to command:

"Go eat shit fuckers. actually pretty tasty...

As a noun

"I Don't Give a Fuck"

As a proper noun:

"I am Fuck! Fuck of the Mountain!" good for you

As an adverb:

"Hermes traipsed fuckfully through the leafy glade."

As a Greeting from the lead singer of a band

"Hey, i am the fucking fucker, lead fucker of fuck, how can i fuck you today?"

As an indefinite pronomina:

"How many countrys in EU do you know? Man, I don't know fuck!"

An excellent interjection between syllables (also known as an "expletive infix"):

"Abso-fucking-lutely not. That's de-fucking-licous. In-Fucking-Credible"

As a substitute for song lyrics you can't remember:

"Billie Fuck fuck not my lover, she's just a fuck who fuck that I fuck the fuck. But fuck in the fuck fuck fuck donkey."

As a Holy Word:

"Holy Fuck!"

As a Character:

"I am fuckholeio. I need penis for my bunghole" (Beavis likes it anal, and no one knows why)

As an Offering

"How bout a nice cold glass of shut the fuck up?"

As an Interjection

"Fuck! That hurts!

As almost every word in a sentence

"Fuck the fucking fuckers fucking the fuck off.'" also, why the fuck is the fucking dogfuck fucking is your fucking fuck?
Dismissal "Why don't you go outside an play Hide-and-go-Fuck-yourself?"
Greetings "Who the fuck are you?"
Dismay "Fuck it."
Trouble "I'm fucked."
Aggression "Fuck you!!!"
Demand "Fuck me!!!"
Confusion "What the fuck?"
Difficulty "I don't understand this fucking problem."
Incompetence "He fucks up everything."
Confusion "What the fuck is going on?"
Lost "Where the fuck are we? In the middle of fucking nowhere!"
Drunk "Where the fuck am I?"/"Who the fuck am I?"/"What the fuck am I doing?"/"What the fuck did I just do?!"/"...and why the fuck do I have the lyrics to a song called Lambo-Lambo stuck in my head?!"
Lust "I'll fuck you with a rake." then actually rake, because things need to get done.
Disbelief "Un-fucking-believable!!!"
More Disbelief "In-fucking-credible"
Anger "Who the fuck fucked me?"
Pain "Oh, FUCK!"
Pleasure "Oh, FUCK yeah!"
Starting a relationship "Let's fuck now!" and then get AIDS
Quickly ending the relationship you just started: "Fuck..." found out you had AIDS didn't ya?
Sincerity "I fucking love Kamchatka."
Ignorance "Who the fuck is Alice?"
A fucking cute kitten that has absolutely nothing to do with this article. A mummy cat and a daddy cat f***ed to make that kitten. Here, cute wittuw kitty!
Hate "You Fuck!"
A poker hand "A Royal Fuck."
Denial "I didn't fucking do it."
Perplexity "I know fuck all about it."
Apathy "Who gives a fuck?"
Carelessness "Fuck that."
Resignation "Oh, fuck it."
Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here!"
Directions "Fuck off."
Incestuous "Mother Fucker."
I have a headache "Go fuck yourself."
Fatigue "I'm absolutely fucked."
Nautical "Fuck the torpedos!"
Reproach "You fucking killed™ me"
Insanity "I'm fucked up, man."
Parachute malfunctions "FUCK."
In Conjunction with 'god'. "Oh My Fucking God!"
Prayer "Oh my fucking God!"
Being stabbed "OH FUCK THE PAIN!"
Being raped by an invisible man "Oh my fucking God!"
Being raped by an invisble woman "Oh My Fucking GOD! YES!"
Winning the Lottery "Oh My Fucking God!"
Losing the Lottery "Oh bloody fuck!" (especially if you spent your last few bucks on a ticket, you penniless loser)
brevity "fuck"
Memory Loss "Where the hell are my fucking keys!"
Anger "Jesus fucking christ!"
Demand "Get the fuck out!"
Oscar Wilde References "Fuck me up the ass, my dear!"
Thought "What's the fucking answer!?!"
Answer to a Question "Ontop of the fucking fridge!"
Rebel "Fuck the world!"
Derrogatory Statement "You team-killing fucktard!"
General Usage "Fuck."
"fuck" is now portable, you can put it in your pocket and use it on the go.
"Fuck" makes great holiday gifts, give it to your dog.
Giant freaky ass spider sent from hell to bite you found in your sink "Oh Shit, Fuck that shit!"
Astonishment "What a shitful load of fuck??!"
Holy dog-continents! I trapped my head in the fucking commode!
Axl Rose - "Do you know where the fuck you are?"
John Howard - "Not only am I short, I am a lying fuck as well"
To let the person you hate know their place - "Fuck off, no one gives a fuck, no one gave a fuck, and no one for sure is EVER going to give a fuck. Who the fuck do you think you are? You're no one, you egotistical fuck, shut your mouth and stop breathing...fucking bastard."
Christian Bale - "What the FUCK are you doing?"

International Saying Fuck Competition

The I.S.F.C's are held at the Fuck You center. In this competition the person must say fuck the most times within a minute, but it has to be in sentenecs. The raining champ is Phuck Wilson with this story:
One fucking day I fucking fucked this fucking hot fucking fuckwit girl. After that fuck fest I fucking went fucking home and fucking found my fucking dog was fucking missing. I Said "What The Fucking Fuck." So I set the fuck out to find the fucked up little fucker. As I fucking walked along the fuckwit street to find the dirty fucking cock sucker I fucking saw my best fucking bud Pete "the motherfucker" Faris. So fucking I fucking walked to the fucking park and I fucking found that fucked up little fucktardy fuck and I fucking had a fuckingly fucktarded fuckragenous fucked up good fucking day. Fuck you.

Rhyming words

Buck, chuck, Chuck, cluck, duck, helium, huck,ococococococoococococococuck luck, muck, puck, suck, ruck, stuck, struck, tuck, truck, yuck, george, orange and gdubabonguchuck,and monkey, all rhymes with fuck.

In hockey: "Where's the thing that rhymes with a swear word?" or "Where's the thing that you use in hockey, rhymes with a swear word?" or "Where's the thing that you use in hockey, rhymes with a F-word?" or simply "Where's the thing that rhymes with a bad word?"
Driving, buying or renting a vehicle other than a car: "I need a vehicle that rhymes with a swear word" or "I need a vehicle that rhymes with the F-word" or simply "I need a vehicle that rhymes with a bad word"
A persons who's name is Chuck: "Where's the guy that rhymes with a swear word" or "Where's the guy that rhymes with a F-word" or "Where's the guy that rhymes with a bad word" and other usage as "Can I talk to a guy that rhymes with a swear word?" or "Can I talk to a guy that rhymes with the F-word?" or simply "Can I talk to a guy that rhymes with a bad word?".
Going fishing, sailing or hiking in the lake: "Take a look at the animal that rhymes with a swear word!" or "Take a look at the animal that rhymes with the F-word!" or "Take a look at the animal that rhymes with a bad word!" and "Can I take a look at the animal that rhymes with a swear word, (any person)?" or "Can I take a look at the animal that rhymes with the F-word, (any person)?" or "Can I take a look at the animal that rhymes with a or word, (any person)?", etc.

See Also

External Links

  • [1]Who the Fuck even made this website? dicks...

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