Funkenstein

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Marcellus Funkenstein ( 1951-1973 ) Inventor of the funk o matic afro enlarger and one of the founding fathers of "disco shit" in 1970.

Marcellus was born in "some missisipi nigger shit hole" the son of the bules singer and valium addict "smiley joe selfharm" Marcellus spent the 50's and 60's waiting for disco to be invented by Count Funckula so that he could step in at the last moment kick funckula in the nuts and take all the credit. His moment came at midnight on the 30th of december 1969, Funckula was just about to announce his invention of disco when Funckenstein burst into the room with his 6 foot high platform shoes and 20 foot wide "afro of rightous shit" and shot funkulas dick off with his gold plated magnum.

As funkula lay on the floor Marcellus shouted "Hay you spasmo jive turkeys cheak my nigger disco shit!" and then proceeded to enact all the dance moves from saturday night fever one after the other to a room full of bewildered hippies and crack heads. After a while the lsd began to take effect and people started to join in, Disco was born! (and they thought the start of nazi germany was bad.)

Marcellus spent all of the seventies doing crack,disco dancing and growing his afro to an ever more insane size. In 1972 he bought a giant pair of transparent platform shoes with an in-built aquarium and cocanie despenser. In 1973 at the hight of his fame he was disembowled and drowned in a vat of boiling vasaline by count funkula and his "psycho gansta mofo killers". His body was eaten by crows and hobos. his father didn't give a fuck about his death, he just wrote another song about knives and valium.