Fur bearing trout

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Overview of a beautiful species[edit]

The Fur Bearing Trout (Furrus troutis) is a typical Arctic fish of the Fur-fish family. The males grow up to three feet in length while the females can get up to twenty. They are a rare catch if anywhere other than in Russia or underground caves. The first of this magnificent species was found by Troutfish McGee(cousin to Tatertot McGee), the record holding fattest Fishologist in the world. They are a remarkable species and a rare find.

Not so good eatin'; how to prepare[edit]

Fur Bearing Trout is considered a delicacy in most parts of Russia. If you find it as a prepared meal outside of Russia, don't eat it! It will try to kill you by lodging itself down your throat.

Step 1.[edit]

Find a trout that bears fur. If you can't fish, dig about three feet and you might find one still flopping. Beat it over the head with a rusty lead pipe (rust adds flavor).

Step 2.[edit]

Skin the trout, but keep the fur. For a side dish, freeze-dry the fur, crush, and sprinkle over chocolate. Once the trout is skinned, cut off the head(this may be consumed raw).

Step 3.[edit]

Cook as you would goat eyes.


Where to find them[edit]

Fur Bearing Trout often can be found in deep underground caves where NO-ONE will find them. EVER. If not in these rare caves, they are commonly found in the Russian lake, Rkvolsnav, where all fish must migrate to every year for a mating ritual that allows the children to become men and women.

Slow denial of a whole species[edit]

However believable this species may be, most people deny their entire existence. The denial has been said to be worse than not believing that the Holocaust happened, or unholocausting. Like unholocausting the practice of fish-denial has been dubbed "unfishing."

Diet-a license to kill[edit]

The Fur Bearing Trout is an omnivour, meaning it can digest anything. INCLUDING JESUS. Like most omnivours they have preferences on food. They tend to eat the Rare Australian Water Stick whenever it is astray from Australia, of course.