Furries

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Yeah the cat thing is weird, but the cage is just fucked up overkill.
Bouncywikilogo7.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Furries.
A deviant furry attempting to man-rape an unsuspecting young fox boy.
The Numa Numa kid is apparently a furry too.

Stop The Presses![edit]

This article is 100% bona fide crap. Delete this article now. NOW. NOW, DAMMIT!


Furryism is a condition in which a furry person (members of the furry fandom are known as furry fans, furries, or furs) self-identifies as a member of an animal species. Furryism often manifests itself as an agonizing dysphoria toward one's birth species. If untreated, it can sometimes lead to fursuiting, which will often begin in local zoos, where potential furry suitors for courting abound.

Furryism is contracted at childhood. If your child comes in contact with a costume character or mascot, plays with a stuffed animal, or watches a movie or television show with talking animals he or she will inevitably become a furry. There is no full cure, but some are led to believe that Hentai can halt the effects of Furryism, although if used too much this will cause the afflicted child to become Wapanese.

As of 1981 furries are protected under the Wildlife and Countryside Act and hunting them for their pelts is no longer legal in the Lower 48 States of the United States.

This man feels he is a horse's arse.

Popular Fursonas[edit]

Typical furry personas or "fursonas" include leeches, toucans, velociraptors, maggots, daddy-long-legses and gibbons. Some fictional animals are popular fursonas too, such as the double-hawk, Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal and that face grabbing thing from Aliens.

Furries are also known to use "cross-breed" fursonas, such as the pengui-aardvark or batsquid.

"REMOVED DUE TO SPAM"

"REMOVED DUE TO SPAM"

Film Stars and Superheroes[edit]

About 70% of furries gain super powers from their fursuits, such as the ability to watch Hentai without vomiting, and the ability to read furry-comics without laughing. Super-furries include Batman (bat), Spiderman (spider), Catwoman (cat) and Superman (also cat)[1].

Han-Solo's best buddy Chewbacca is also a dedicated furry, rarely seen outside of his fursuit.

Those who don't become super-heroes often gain employment as Baseball mascots, genetics engineers, Professional loser, theme-park entertainers, or handing out free samples outside stores.

Furry Organizations[edit]

The most notorious Furry organization is PETA (well known for their slogan "We'd rather do it fursuited than wear nothing"), whose exhibitionist members often show off their bizarre perversion in public.

Many believe that the furry community may also have a deep-seated allegiance with such hotels as the The Red Roof Inn and Best Western, as these fine lodgings are where they hold many of their Fur Conventions, or, "Cons." Or maybe they're just attracted to perpetually hot meth towns, who knows.

Furries in religion[edit]

God hates furries! The eleventh comandment is most commonly translated as "Thou shalt not be a Furry." Due to religious controversy of furries, the United States has considered passing an amendment banning marriage between furries.

However, Jesus may have been a furry because he identified himself with the lamb. Some people believe that this is why he was sent to die on the big T.

See also[edit]

Notes[edit]

  1. http://www.superdickery.com/oneshot/56.html