Furry
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 Catgirls, Hentai and furries, Oh my!This page contains catgirls, hentai and/or furries and is not safe for human consumption.
If caught reading this page, roll over and play dead. |
“We bash furries so we feel normal!”
~ 4Chan on Furries
“Wait, seriously guys- what the fuck?”
~ Robin Hood on Furries
“Wait.......he was a WHAT?????”
~ A confused Oscar Wilde on Furry sex
“No more sexy posing! I'm sick of it!”
~ A wolf from the webcomic "Animals Have Problems Too" on Furry sex
“Furries are people who dress up like animals and do animal things! they go out into the woods and pick nuts and fuck other animals! its fucking disgusting!”
~ Upset? Drena on Furries
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[edit] What are furries?
Furries are usually classified as animal characters with human-like qualities, examples of which are Bugs Bunny, Tony the Tiger, Mickey Mouse, Sonic the Hedgehog.
Furries is also a generic term for people who are interested in such characters be it for normal or sexual reasons.
Anthro - a normal fan of anthropomorphic characters, who view such characters merely as art and not as objects of sexual stimulation.
Fursuiter -someone who likes to dress up in an animal suit. A tradition most commonly practiced at mass gatherings like Furry Conventions and Disney World.
MURR -common terminology developed by furries to express sexual stimulation at something.
Yiffer - deranged individuals who think nothing's wrong with whacking off to images of animals. Basically the reason why furries are so looked down upon by society.
Yiff - Oh you know what I mean...
[edit] However, actually...
A little known fact is that furries, in reality, do not exist. Oh yea. Had you going there, huh? Furries are, in fact, a convenient fiction perpetuated by the legions of fanboys behind anime, manga, and other weird crap in general. Upon suddenly realizing their intense sexual desires for cartoon animals, the fanboys set out to develop a lifestyle completely different from the world surrounding them. The trend soon caught on and a subculture was born! Furry fandom has since then prospered proudly as one of the most loved subcultures today. -furgeta
[edit] Early appearances of furry
The idea of "furries" has been used by various groups throughout to draw attention from various atrocities that they were busy committing. The most notable of this was when Adolf Hitler secretly introduced the idea of furry fandom onto the German people through a series of cartoons he commission Disney to produce and a self produced homo erotic short film featuring himself and his Bitch Hermann Göring. Unfortunately this film was found to cause massive brain hemorrhage in all who viewed it and it was left forgotten and unused for almost a decade until being found useful for exterminating jews during the hololocaust. Introducing furry upon the German public immediately almost shut down the country with people who it found appeal with being bashed by those that thought it was weird and unholy, and those that liked it but didn't want to admit it because they thought it was wierd and unholy. While everyone was busy self-righteously defending themselves and attacking those who thought differently then they did, Hitler stealthily came to power and created The Third Reich, built up the German empire, started WW2, lost WW2 and killed himself all without the German people noticing.
[edit] Furry Proliferation
Unfortunately, the grave power that furry is did not remain in the hands of just the American governement for very long. Soon enough, using materials that they has salvaged from the smoldering ruins of Nazi Germany and information stolen by their various spy agencies the USSR soon had their own version of furry. This triggered the Cold War, with both the Americans and the Soviets trying to exceed each other in the level of potentness, strangeness, and just straight out oddness that their furry had. Eventually these efforts destroyed the Soviet economy, leading to the fall of communism and this, now über potent and very, very disturbing furry material was leaked out to the world. Most of it was quickly recovered but some still remains on the internet, leading many of they myths and illusions that people have about furries to this day. Some also actually found it hot. Go figure.
[edit] Modern Apperances
Furry was most recently used as a propaganda weapon in the early21st Century when the Bush governent flooded 4chan with this material in a successful attempt to divert the Worlds attentiom away from the War in Iraq.
[edit] Application by the Anime/Manga Movement
Little known by either the Soviets or The Americans, as their world was crumbling around them the Nazi elite packed all of the furry they could salvage as bombs as the Third Reich was imploding and packaged it onto a U-Boat for a final, secret, last run to their allies in Japan. The Japansese realized the power and significance of what their allies had gifted them but were themselves unable to put it to used before they too were defeated. However, some top ranking government official were entrusted with safekeeping until the country stabaized. Having the forsight to realize that straight up, Japansese people are pretty fucking weird and knowing that post war, democratic Japan would not be able to hide it's strangeness from the rest of the world as well as the imperialistic Japan of days past was, they began to plant furry all over the world so at the end of the day people would be far too distracted fighting over furry to notice just how odd Manga, Anime, and just Japan in general really is. Worked so far.
[edit] Furrther Insight
Information from this very secretive almost Cult like group is very hard to find by. However once in a while some insight is leaked out, most famously from an anonymous who inisisted he only be known as "deep tentacle" "well see when you look at it were a bunch of mostly grown people who enjoy watching cartoons, collecting dolls, comics, and animated porn with people that look 6........we needed a distraction. But you'll say "no furries exist, they have conventions and everything". Nah, that's just we. We dress up then once we get inside the building we take off everything and just have wild, wild orgies. The subject then proceeded to tell the interviewer she looks "just like this one character" in a Hentai he has and then slobbered uncontrollably. More is not known as the source was found dead a few days before the next arranged meeting with suckermarks all over his body and his testicles no where near the rest of the body.
[edit] Interview with a furry
On 14th April 2009 we managed to catch an interview with another furry, or more specifically, discovered one lurking moar in our article. Once we had done congratulating him on taking the advice of half teh interwebs to itself (lurk moar) and on existing, something we heretofore considered unpossible, we asked him what he thought about being furry.
F: Well, it's great being different for a start. I also get to have loads of cool friends -
I: Who all slobber over yiff images and distribute them on the interwebs?
F: Well, some of them...
I: I suppose the rest do far worse things?
F: Not re-
I: LIES!
He was obviously trying to deceive us, the cunning fox he was, he then loaded his Lee-Enfield and shot all our staff before fleeing for Canada.
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[edit] External links
http://www.freensa.org/?cid=3381
