Fursecution

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β€œIt is beautiful, it is fine, it is the noblest form of affection. There is nothing unnatural about it. It is intellectual, and....they do WHAT?!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Furries

Fursecution is any form of irrational hostility or discrimination aimed at furries. While the term's etymology is uncertain, it entered common usage after being used in a speech by notable Unitarian minister/witch doctor and civil rights leader ShadowFox69 during the "Selma to Midwest Furfest" march of 2003. The term has since been used to describe countless crimes too terrible to mention (e.g. the cold-blooded banning of 8 furries from the SomethingAwful forums in October 2005.) 4Chan, having birthed furries from a horrible tumour hanging off of it's scrotum, hates them fully.

Mahatma Gandhi, with pronounced manboobs.

Crimes committed against furries[edit]

Allied propagandists put about rumours that Hitler was himself a furry. With pronounced manboobs.

THE HOLOCAUST[edit]

The most notable historical incident of fursecution is the Holocaust. This campaign of mass-execution and torture led to the deaths of approximately 6 million furries. As this was before the internet, many furries were outside of their mom's basement when the roundups began. Few were spared. While there is limited documentation regarding the Holocaust's beginnings, it is known to have started after German Dictator Adolf Hitler allegedly discovered a man in a golden-retriever fursuit sodomizing his beloved dog Blondi. After Hitler's defeat by the furry fandom-loving nations of the world, the few remaining furries lobbied the United Nations for the formation of a nation of their own in which they could build a new life for themselves. In this Second Life the furries hoped to be able to live, yiff, and raise their litters in peace.

Jayren[edit]

Jayren, A modern day Rosa Parks. With pronounced manboobs.

Jayren, a "roleplaying anal oral transforming voyeur zoophile machinist mind-control microphile macrophile electrical watersports painless chemical open-minded available male-biased ageplaying male child" known as "Alan J. Yoder" to mundanes, was caught in the act of coitus with the love of his life, his dog Lucky, in 2004. Jayren was forced to undergo fursecution by the law and by PETA, claiming that his relationship with Lucky was not consensual. Despite this discrimination, Jayren heroically defied the law and continued to proudly yiff everything within his sight.

On November 17, 2006, Jayren was sentenced to 18 months in jail for aggravated assault. In addition to this outrage, Jayren was only allowed use of a Gateway 2000 with AOL 5.0 and a dial-up connection. Needless to say, this was not nearly adequate for him to fully enjoy Second Life and interact with the vast online furry community. Neither Amnesty International nor the ACLU agreed to defend him, likely because even they were afraid of the power wielded by the agents of fursecution in our culture.

Fortunately, despite scritching his guards on several occasions, Jayren was released from prison on October 12, 2007. Whether he will be able to continue his relationship with Lucky however, remains to be seen.

How you can help[edit]

It might surprise you to learn that you can actually take place in fursecution on most MMO sites that allow customization of avatars, as a large majority of people using these sites have their avatars made to look like their Fursona.

When actually fursecuting, keep the following in mind:

  • You are essentially arguing with a 3-year-old, don't let your frustration turn you into one as well.
  • Try to sound rational, that will piss them off EVEN MORE.
  • They will attempt to rally supporters to help them fend you and the "EVIL TROLLING NAZI EMPIRE" off. When this happens, you're pretty much screwed alone, so try to hold your ground.
  • Remember, there is only one way to kill a furry... with FIRE
  • They will always try to dismiss your argument in one of the following ways.

-Ignoring you. They are OBNOXIOUSLY good at that.

-Saying all you know about them is from an episode of CSI about "Plushies." Even if you never watch CSI and think that by calling furries "Plushies" they're giving plush dolls a bad name.

-Calling you a NAZI. Even if you're Jewish, of Russian, Polish, French, or other descent from a country or religion that was brutally attacked by NAZIS, and have never supported them.

-EDITING YOUR UNCYCLOPEDIA AND AE PAGES OVER AND OVER.

  • If you need help, go to a common individual born before the year 1993 and proceed to ask him if he knows what furries are. If he says yes, BINGO, you've got a friend who will help you. If he says no, explain to him in the simplest terms even their non-sexual tendencies of wearing bizzare costumes and pretending to be mythical animal beasts and BINGO, you've got a friend who will help you.

Put the FUR back in FURY[edit]

  • WikiFur β€” A highly accurate and grammatically-correct resource.

Long live the revolution[edit]

  • [1] - An interesting little site depraved of users.