GOTO
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“If you want to go somewhere, goto is the best way to get there.”
~ Ken Thompson
In computer programming, the GOTO statement is the programmer's bestest friend in the whole wide world.
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[edit] The Best Use Of A Goto Ever
10 PRINT "PENIS" 20 GOTO 10 RUN
[edit] Is Your Computer Like This?
It is a proven scientific fact that today's computers simply do not get enough exercise. It just sits there most of the time, microsecond after microsecond, slavishly dwaddling over each instruction immediately in front of it while its nearly motionless disk drive becomes crammed with meaningless information. With the constant accumulation of data rot between its flabby registers, your computer is destined to be tossed onto that scrapheap in the sky long before its time.
[edit] GOTO Considered Beneficial
However, a healthy diet of GOTO lets your computer spring into action, happily bouncing from one side of an application to the other like an overjoyed kangaroo on methamphetamine. Indeed, the systematic execution of thousands of GOTO commands keeps your computer fit and full of vigor and pep, and helps it shake off the occasional viral infection.
[edit] GOTO Makes Programming Fun!
GOTO is also beneficial for the programmer, as well. The very challenge of untangling multiple threads of nonlinear flow helps keep the programmer's mind sharp and alert. GOTO also makes it a breeze to weave intricate labyrinths of Gordian knots, giving a highly baroque sense of complexified beauty to even the most simple and dull of programs.
