Game:Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle/zine

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search

You're almost done shopping, but since you don't feel like going home to your psycho spouse (whatever sex or sexual orientation you may be), you decide to go look at the magazines.

In the aisle, there are all sorts of magazines, but the one that really piques your interest is the new issue of World Weekly News, which you know is the most accurate news source in your town. You look at the cover story, which states that John Lennon has risen from the dead and is seeking to destroy all those who are pro-war with a pickaxe. You look at your shirt, which says "Kill Everyone!! War is Fun!!", and panic. A man with a monkey who has nothing to hide sees you panicking. He comes up to you and says, "You know that the World Weekly News is just a tabloid, right? None of it's real."

"None?" you ask.

"Nope," he says, "nothing is real. Nothing to get hung about."

You start to think, Where have I heard that before? when the man says, "Except for that cover story-- it's very real." He raises his pickaxe. "And now, you are the walrus."

*** Imagine you weren't dead. ***

But wait...

You feel a tremendous wrench – the hand of God coming down to wipe clean the temporal chalkboard. The world dissolves, and then quickly floods back into existence, restoring its state as it was before you made your move.

But somehow, things aren't set up exactly the same as last time....

Late Thursday night. You've had a hard day and the last thing you need is this: shopping. Luckily, the place is pretty empty and you're progressing rapidly.

On to the next aisle.

The aisle stretches to the north, and back to the south. The shelves on either side of you block your view of the rest of the supermarket, with only the brightly colored aisle markers visible.

You have stopped your trolley next to the pasta section, bright plastic bags full of pale skin-tone shapes.

There is a brunette woman a few meters ahead, filling her trolley with sauces.

A shiny metal phone booth sits in the center of the aisle.

Your move:

*Secret option!
Super-secret option!
Double super-secret option!