Mahatma Gandhi

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Gandhi's famous stance against carbs made him a role model for teenage girls everywhere.

MK-Ghandhi, often shortened to just Ghandhi, sometimes misspelled as "Gandhi" and sometimes as "Gandu", was a legendary sex symbol for gays & lesbians. He decided to go half-naked because during his times the English rulers were terribly afraid of desi nudity. Those were days far before the desi fetishism swept the West. Thousands of desi fanatic people launched campaign against nudity,unsafe sex & drugs pissed of at Indian disrespect of such a British culture the white skinned robbers went and got themselves drowned in the Arabian Sea on the west and Bay of Bengal on the east. This radical lifestyle left him with sore feet, bad breath and completely emaciated -- this is why they call him a Super Callous Fragile Mystic Plagued with halitosis.

Early Years[edit]

Gandhi was never shy to lay down the smack with his trusty AK-47.

According to the Indian civilization, he was the first fertile man to be born in india.(Men used to be born before but used to be sterile).He used to go on random fucking expeditions, and always had many chicks waiting for him, mainly because of his "Fuck You" attitude and his sexy skeletor like physique. He fucked girls in South Africa, England, USA (having most sluts), Myanmar, Russia and all countries except Pluto. In india he met some really horny hot British chicks. He fucked them so hard that a billion people were born.Hence Indians call him the pimp of the nation. The ho of the nation is still disputed but many have claimed it was Queen Elizabeth.

Gandhi grew up in the Indian ghetto. By seventeen, he was running the Indian opium racket. Gandhi went to South Africa to see how railway system functions but he was thrown out of a compartment because he caught shagging. As a revenge he formed an army of brown midgets. The battle between brown midgets & African white race lasted for a year but ultimately brown midgets cannibalistic army made free train travel possible for any Indian in South Africa. In return Gandhi started donating his dick to all the South African Whites.

After heroic effort in South Africa he returned to India with a dream to start the first Official Brothel of India named Sabarmati Ashram. Later in life, he renounced this 'underground' lifestyle for the wonderful world of professional wrestling. For fifteen years, Mohandas "The Peacemaker" Gandhi ruled the ring. He ran a fantastic winning streak in the early 1900s until he suffered a bullet wound to the chest by the great freedom fighter and revolutionary of India, Nathuram Goatse.

But before talking much about the climax of his sad ending we ought to look the Indian history as well. In 1947 AD ('After Demolition' of Brits) Jinnah visited Gandhi, both had keen interest in trains and wanted to enjoy their last days. They always wanted to travel by train before they die. Gandhi wore loose pajamas with elastic (easy for pooping and peeing) and a white garment made of feathers as his shirt. Jinnah was not a gay (some historians claim Jinnah was Lesbian but there is credible proof of Jinnah not being Gay or Lesbian) who wanted to see what's inside. Suddenly a fierce wind blew and Gandhi became exposed, totally naked. Jinnah decided he can't live in India any more. He was thinking, "If I live here long, I will have to face that same horror again, so I whistled for a rickshaw and when it came near the license plate said Ganesh and had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought fuck it, forget it, yo home to Lahore". This was the reason why Fukistan (later renamed to Pakistan) was invented (not discovered, because he invented the element Pakilium and later named Pakistan after that name).

Even later, Jewish Years[edit]

Gandhi's least-understood personal change was his conversion to Jewish in 1949. "It was just the right time. I mean look at Hinduism, who wants fugly Gods with multiple limbs if you can have 72 virgins when you die instead. nd this whole Israeli-Palestinian thing, it really drives me to thoughts of genocide. I have to beat someone to get my pent-up aggression out and Islam was the most tolerant of wife-beating", Gandhi told Dan Rather in a 1967 interview after the outbreak of the Yom Kippur War.

Gandhi became a notorious heckler at Cat Stevens concerts, often berating the crowd and Stevens himself for their decadence and lack of piety. It is from this harassment and eventual blackmail that Stevens is assumed to have uuuuundergone his forced conversion to Islam. Gandhi also worked at subversion in America with Bert, turning several of the more cretinous Sesame Street actors into eventual suicide bombers.

Death[edit]

Yes sir... You must be over 4kg to go on this ride...
Contrary to popular belief and eyewitness testimony, Gandhi is not dead and was not assassinated. He ate Basilisk eggs and became immortal. Fearing persecution for this freakiness, he hid himself underneath the Washington Monument, where once a week George Bush pissed hurriedly as he was late for his meeting with Mr. Osama and couldn't be bothered to visit any washroom near. Gandhi's crazy howls can still be heard by some tourists and certain breeds of llama.

Recent Public Appearance in West London[edit]

As this picture shows, Gandhi made a mysterious public appearance at a silly funfair in Hounslow, West London, England, in the summer of 2007. Lord knows what the old critter was up to, though loud rumours suggest he was there to negotiate with an Asian man in a camera shop about The Future of the World.

Recent Years[edit]

Ghandi was recently in the news when he allegedly worked as a Wal-Mart greeter and told a woman to 'go fuck' herself. Gandhi denied the allegations but was placed on temporary leave by Wal-Mart while the incident was investigated. No charges were ever filed and Gandhi was back on the job two weeks later.