Garage bands

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For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Garage bands.

A garage band is a disciplined group of teenagers, led by a pothead guitarist, or possibly a lead dead vocalist. (Hey, as long as it is humanoid and has lips, you can prop it up and make it look like it's singing whatever you want.) According to the NAAGB (North American Association of Garage Bands), a garage band practicies "music" using "instruments" in preparation for "entertaining" a "live audience". Garage bands are invariably headed for superstardom, and the members wisely quit their jobs in preparation. Smooth move. We recommend it to everybody who has ever thought about picking up a guitar and starting a band.

Corpses posing as successful guitarists in desperate attempts to seem cool are a frequently occurring problem.

A great way to launch your career as a musician is to play at birthday parties. This brings absolutely no shame and is a highly lucrative stepping stone in your career.

Also, in order to score some sexy points, remember to inform every girl you've ever laid eyes on at your high school or job that you are in a band, even if unprovoked. This enhances the chances that she will suck your tiny penis.

Origin[edit]

The past explanation was just down right stupid and not funny. <-- Douche The real origin of the "Garage Band" was back in the 1800's, when teenagers did not know what to do with their lives. Instead of sitting in their parents basements and masturbating all day, they decided to do something with their lives...so they found a tissue box, a couple of rubberbands, and instead of playing in their parents basements, played these instruments in the garage...hence, the name garage band....

Benefits[edit]

Being in a band (be it a bathroom, den, or garage band) bestows great benefits unto its members.

  1. Being in a band is an acceptable alternative to being a doctor. Parents really "get it."
  2. A large relaxation in the eligibility equation women use to select men.
  3. Improved hygiene practices are inevitable if you're a sweaty, greasy garage band member. You'll never smell like B.O. again!
  4. The satisfaction is never ending when you finally get a major label. Achieving this is very easy. All you have to do is look like you can play your instruments when you're playing a gig. Record signing will follow if this procedure is repeated daily.
Lols. Ain't that the truth.

Music composition[edit]

According to garage band Dogma: If the quantity of band members is large enough, then a garage band can write songs. It is theorized that a million garage band members playing a million guitars can collectively write one cover of "Stairway to Heaven".

Mainly, music is composed by the Band members gathering, and asking, "Does, uh, anyone got any songs?" The answer, (usually no) has little import on the rest of the rehearsal. They will go on to just sort of play very loudly until the next power outage. (although some bands creatively put a drum solo in until the power comes back on.) Otherwise, the members just listen to the same song of some other band over and over until they learn how to "adequately perform" it.

The quickest way into a girl's heart is through mediocre guitar playing skills.

Notable garage bands[edit]

MOOP! Those guys from "Home Movies." Duke and the Loose Cannons.

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