Garland high school

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Garland High School is the crunkest high school this side of the Mississippi. Leonardo de Vaca was in search of gold in TenochTITland when when he came across a huge river, today known as the Rio Grande, and home to the Chupa Kabra. He traveled far north until he came to this area known as, GARLAND TEXAS AREA. Soon, with the lost treasures he found, he settled in beside Lake Ray Hubbard and had three children: Rowlett, John Garland, and Johnny.

All three of the children were really stupid. Unfortunately, there was no school for them to go to at the time. To fix this problem, John, somehow, thought of an education system that could make up for all the years he had missed and he called it the IB system. The system was first introduced in the first school ever to be built in Texas, which was founded in 3200 B.C. by John Garland himself (starting pitcher of the Chicago White Socks at that point in his career). The school recieves many awards annually and has been recognized for 9 out of the last 10 years as being the poorest.

Johnny, however, started a school, Lakeview, right by the lake becuase his boyfriend liked the view. The school grew into one of the most strongest practicing homosexual schools in the South.

Actually, the school wasnt founded by John Garland, but by his twin Judie Garland, who happend to pop out of Mrs. De Vaca in an egg. The mysterious birth of Judie today is known as, Laiweh, which is said in the Black Bible to be the decendent of Yaweh. After Leonardo died from unknown causes, John took over as el presidente and created an alliance with Millard Fillmore, who actually wasnt the worst President of all time. Millard Fillmore helped inplant the boobs roots of Garland High School into the strong Democratic system in existence today.

File:Orch 0607.jpg
The G Orchestra is the most powerful weapon known to man. Do NOT press the little red button.

During the War of 1812, the school got partly knocked down by the Juggernaut. After that, the building was used for a Naval Base of France. On Smarch 34th, Godzilla invaded the area. Armed with textbooks and IB tests, the student body fought the monster. The battle raged on for a week until Garland High School declared its independence from France and became its own nation. Thus, the United Krunkness of Garland was created.

The first principal of Garland High School wrote an entire book of the Bible. However, today it can not be found in modern Bibles because it was too complicated for King James to interpret so he left it out completely. Legend has it that this book shows how to gain salvation and open the gates of Eden. Some also believe that it states that the devil went to South Garland High School.


Contents

[edit] Great Achievements

The empire of Garland High School took over Mexico by defeating its Aztec Army in World War II.

Although denied by the Catholic Church, Garland High School's football team beat Jesus and his disciples in a preseason scrimmage around 28 A.D.

Garland High School beat France in an arm wrestling competition. Shortly afterwards, Napoleon Dynamite became dictator of the cheese-smelling, wine-drinking country.

Garland High School has been undefeated in Decatholon for the past two milleniums and it is rumered that Mrs. Smith, the first ever head of the decatholon team still roams across the campus, without a soul.

[edit] Random Achievements

  • Shakespear's play Macbeth was acutally about Garland High School.
  • GHS came out with its own clothing production line in the 1920s, but it soon failed because the United States had a high tariff on imported goods from the school.
  • GHS' staple crops are corn, wheat, tobacco, Crunk Juice, and Indian feathers
  • GHS' school motto "Be like Lil Jon- Keep it Krunk" was changed to "Enter to Learn Go Forth to Serve" circa 1902 due to socioeconomic problems
  • GHS gave the U.S. the money it needed for the Lousiana Purchase as a Christmas gift
  • GHS invented McDonald's in 1984

[edit] The Owl Football Team

Garland High happens to have the best football team in the world, winnings 30 consecutive State, Nation, and Universal Championships in a row, and then finally lost after defending Germany in World War II because of the draft. The historic team has always had perfect coaching and legendary players, all who made it to the NFL except one, he played golf.

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That's the original franchise helmet from 1582.

[edit] Garland Highschool First Varsity Line-up

  • Tony Romo (Starting QB)
  • Frank, The 2006-2007 School Janitor (Starting RB)
  • Oprah Winfrey (Starting FB)
  • Sam Houston (Starting WR)
  • Davey Crockett (Starting WR)
  • Stephen Fuller Austin (Starting WR)
  • Sponge Bob Square Pants (Starting TE)
  • Garfield the Cat (Starting C)

[edit] Former Students

[edit] External Links

Lil Jon and the East Side Boys

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