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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about GeForce.

GeForce is a kind of pseudo-natural force that makes the world go round for braggers and geeks and nerds alike, and NVIDIA Corp. which in turn uses such power to control the masses in such an extensive way that even made the creators of Wikipedia jealous.


In the year A.D. 1999, the world was in utter chaos and disorder due to the imminent Armageddon overshadowing the earth. A team of scientists at ATI Technologies was in the process of inventing a teleporting device called Radeon using Radium, at a secret facility called Black Mesa, which would rip-open an alter-universe, called Xen, through which aliens would be sucked into earth, speeding up the unevitable and opening doors to the dominance of earth by a joint government between Xen and ATI. Meanwhile, A team of scientists at NVIDIA Corp. lead by its chief scientist David Kirk, sought to develop a rival technology which was actually designed to save their own asses, but due to popular demand on MTV's Total Request Live, an add-on instruction was added(of course, because it can't be subtracted) through ForceWear clothing to save other people's asses as well by clothing them also with ForceWear. Anyway, A team of scientists at NVIDIA Corp. lead by its chief scientist David Kirk, sought to develop a rival technology that would save the masses or weights, (or whatever!) from the Alien Invasion. According to one of the scientists, they added a host of ingredients including Sugar, Spice, and everything nice as well as scrap metal from dysfunctional TVs, Radios and also a volley of Pentium, Athlon, Sempr0n and Optepr0n processors and one mystical ingredient - Chemical G. Thus, was born GeForce.

The GeForce sported some technically superior technologies for its time, features included Hardware Transform and Lighting, Shading, Drawing, Painting and one surprise feature: Human Cloning. The Human Cloning feature in particular would come in handy during the battle against Xen.

The Battle against Radeon/Xen[edit]

The GeForce was responsible for single-handedly winning the battle against Xen. When ATI's Radeon began spawning a large number of Xen toops onto earth, the GeForce responded by first spawning the legendary Gordon Freeman, father of Morgan Freeman. Then, the GeForce spawned 255 human space marines from Quake III Arena to which Radeon responded with 256 Xen aliens. But, however, the Radeon broke down after doing so much and the GeForce used its cloning feature to quickly clone a further 255 space marines and one Gordon Freeman. Thus, heavily outnumbered, the Xen troops quickly retreated back to their motherland and the GeForce claimed victory. However, in the battle, many clones died including that of Gordon Freeman. Soon after the battle, David Kirk put GeForce into stasis, claiming that frequent iterations will be called upon, When it makes sense. Since it was able to spawn 256 characters in 256 separate bits, the GeForce was, is, and will forever, be known as GeForce 256.

Chemical G??[edit]

It is now widely known that Chemical G is responsible for the GeForce's aweless power. A lot of people speculate on the nature of the mystery chemical everyday. One famous speculation was done by Morgan Freeman, the father of Gordon Freeman. He had speculated that Chemical G is nothing but the airpaint NVIDIA uses to colour its logo. GameSpot and IGN speculate that Chemical G might actually be the pulp of John Carmack's brain. A little credibility is thrown into this by the fact that GeForce handles technology discovered by that doomed space marine wonderfully. However, GameSpy claims that it's nothing but John Romero's bitch!

Household Uses??[edit]

The fan which came along with the GeForce was very quiet, but in future iterations, the fan became extremely powerful and noisy and hence, once sold it as a DustBuster vacuum cleaner.

Current Iteration[edit]

The GeForce is currently in its 21st iteration and is now helping Luke Skywalker defeat the corrupt Empire.


The NVIDIA GeForce 9400M is the new ingredient for MacBook Air. It makes it taste bad. the NVIDIA GeForce FAKE is a virus i mean driver from nvidia that makes all users with ati hd 3200 built in chipsets crash and reboot thinking it has a nvidia geforce in it (stupid quad cores)

See Also[edit]